8. When your friend inserts his fare card into the gates and is about to enter, swing your hand past his gate. This will activate the motion detector, thus making it shut on your friend’s hips. Trust me, it’s fun to see the reaction on your friend’s face.
7. When MRT approaches the station, push your friend forward and immediately pull him back. The sudden adrenaline rush will be very shiok for him/her.
6. While your friend is peeing into the urinal, shake him up, down, left, right, center. As a last finishing move, push his ass into the urinal and make him feel his penis touch the cold, hard urinal. Due to severe movement, your friend will halt the urination process, leading to a very uncomfortable sensation (tried stopping halfway?). Do this many times and your friend is guaranteed to have bladder stones.
5. This cheap thrill has to be done with many friends. Ask them to sit alongside both sides of a corridor. When a person walks through this formation, proceed to clap and cheer (wolf whistles?) like you would do at a football match. Kallang wave also can. The stranger who walked past would feel very intimidated and will have thought that his fly was open.
4. When your friend boards a bus and puts his fare card into the validator, quickly press the other buttons that have no options. A message, “Wrong button pressed” will appear. Card is then rejected and has to be inserted again. This allows you to overtake him/her into finding a seat.
3. During your friend’s birthday, follow him into the toilet. During his most vulnerable moment, ambush him and spray all sorts of spices you can get onto Mr Weener. Examples of spices are curry powder and chili sauce from canteen auntie. If desperate, Kit Kat will do. Rashes soon appear on cock. Better than sex.
2. Only for girls and cross-dressers: Pull up bra strap and release. Repeating this action will produce a “piak piak” effect. Sounds better than Bach's Brandenburg Concerto No. 3.
1. Go up to a Fat Ah-lian and shout in her face, “Fat Ah-lian!!!”