The following 2 pieces of letter are from someone, one is fictional and the other is non-fictional. I am sorry if it is a breach of copywrite but i want to show pple how different things can be. As usual, there are more moments of anguish, sadness and abhorrence than happiness, joy and true love. So you pple can go figure out which is real and which is not.

UNREMEMBERED

K. Y.,

It’s been more than half a year since I even uttered a word to you, isn’t it? Don’t fret. I have no undisclosed incentives and am probably as overwrought as you are. You haven’t been in my mind much all these months. And I certainly have no devotedly attached memories of you.

You were the first person to ever cause me a heartache. You lied to me. You hid yourself under a facade. You wasted seven months of my existence. Seven months of falsehood. All that I saw in you was a lie. Our relationship was a twisted web of deceit.

This letter is a divulgence of my inmost feelings, K.Y. They were bottled up for too long. Now they’re twisting and burning inside me. I can’t deny it any further. Confession is my only way out.

I never loved you.

They thought you were my first love. They thought sweet reminiscence should be the remains of this ended relationship. They thought it didn’t work out because we were too immature to handle it.

They were misled. So were you.

We were living a lie. It was all untruth. You gave me nothing dear to remember of. Your possessiveness was my bane. It stretched on. It was sheer torture.

But I held on.

I thought I loved you. But I didn’t. Reality came crashing down after you returned from your trip. I was in love with an illusion which died on the plane. You finally showed your true colours. For months after the breakup, it was intense abhorrence of you. I despised you so much, you could rot in hell and I would be overjoyed.

You burnt me. Did you indeed expect me to cling on? Did you expect me to throw myself at your feet and plead for you to return to me? Did you think I will break down and die without you?

By now, you should know that you were mistaken.

I cried. It seemed like forever. I wept silently beneath my spirited front. I cried because you deceived me. I cried for the asshole you are. I cried out of self-pity and pity for you.

My being was something you could flaunt, because you never had anything else to boast about. My love was like pearls on a string you thought you possessed. I felt so sorry for you.

You were the little boy who thought you were all man. The little boy who used “if you love me, you will do it” to threaten. The vulnerable little boy who sought constant attention and declarations of commitment. And I, I was the artless girl who had fairy castles in the air.

It matters not. Not anymore.

My loathing for you is gone with the wind. You are freed from blame now. You aren’t worth anything to my mind. My self-pity didn’t last longer than my “love” for you.

Like a stranger on the streets, I don’t understand you anymore than I did before I knew of you. Ever thought of entering Star Search? You were so dexterous, I couldn’t tell the truth from the lies in you. I don’t even want to try.

All I’m asking of you now is not to remember me, K.Y. Forget I ever existed. Don’t waltz back into my life and play a role there. Don’t be part of the cast of characters in my memoirs. Not as a friend, not as a lover, not even as my enemy. Just remain the way you are - just another a hazy character in a page of my history. Someone who used to be.

Don’t keep this letter. Bind it with your recollections of me. Crumple them. Crush them. Rip them asunder. Turn them into pulp. Set them afire. Or simply hurl them into the bin.

Whatever you do, don’t remember me.

Goodbye. Forever.

********


and how things can be like differently...

FORGIVEN

Dear Chris,

This letter will never been sent. But I hope you will receive this in your heart. I hope you see me from where you are. I don’t want to be the sobbing figure whose eyes are pregnant with grief anymore, Chris. No more.

It’s been so long, so long. Three whole years of sorrow and weeping. Three whole years of denial. Three heart-wrenching years of feeling broken.

I felt like you’ve betrayed me.

Everytime you appeared in my thoughts, I felt my heart break more. I never thought it was possible when you departed and shattered my heart into a million pieces, letting the debris fall into the pit of my stomach. But whenever I think of you, anguish sears through me like a thousand daggers stabbing unflinchingly at the very core of my being.

I couldn’t forgive you for the longest time. I couldn’t accept the fact that you just left like that. All you left me was a message that shattered my every dream.

I know life had been hard on you. But was ending your life your only release? Why did you do that to yourself? Why to me?

I finally stopped asking those questions every night I lay myself down to sleep. Those tears upon my pillow will always remain. Those answers I yearned to know so much doesn’t matter now. Not anymore.

I want to imagine that you are happier than you’ve been in your entire life. Please be. Please let me be the only one suffering. Please let me be the only one hurting so bad.

I felt my soul being buried with you six feet under, shut off from me the very moment they sealed the coffin. You looked the same, yet so different. So lifeless and cold. Those arms that once embraced me now hung limp at your sides.

Please don’t feel miserable for me. That is the last thing I need. Just do one thing for old times' sake: remember.

Remember those times we shared. Remember me.

Remember those times we strolled along the beach in the drizzle, our hands clasped together, holding like we never want to let go. Remember the sand castles we built that reminded us of our childhood fantasies. Remember the gentle whisper of the waves.

Remember those times we joked and laughed with the television on, emitting an alien luminescence in the dimness as we cuddled during our wacky sleepovers.

Remember that I was once your trusted intimate, your cohort in mischief, your best friend.

I remember.

I remember that I once desired to hold you in my arms to heal those wounds in your heart. I still do. I still yearn to wipe away the tears inside of you, for you wept silently beneath the strong exterior. I long to make you trust love again, to believe that I will never hurt you.

It’s too late. You didn’t wait.

I questioned myself endlessly, repeatedly but I never found out what I was attracted to. There was this strong magnetic bond that drew me to you. This saline, empty pit in my centre of emotion will never be filled again.

I still can’t forget.

I can’t forget the first time we met at the beach. Those waves always seemed angry to me. Angry at the world, angry at the shore. They always seemed to be crashing against the shore, lashing at the sand, eroding it bit by bit. But on that day, they were breaking against the fine sand, washing away memories of heartbreak, telling me everything is okay. You made my wounds heal.

I can’t forget the times you came up with crazy ideas to jog for miles and miles. When I practically collapsed at your feet, you took my hand and urged me on. I found myself running with renewed energy surging through me, feeling free from the viciousness of this world.

But I will no longer have that kind of solace anymore.

I love you. I always have and always will. There is no reason. I tried to convince myself I didn't love you. Nothing worked. My heart has made the choice. I let my heart rule too much. It is no longer in my hands.

My heart is with you, every second of everyday. Promise me you will appear in my dreams tonight, Chris. I need you.

I’ve finally forgiven you.

********