erm...penned down a bit of my thoughts on sms juz now...didnt send it out, juz typing it down....reorganising the tots...though didnt save most of them. But the main thing is i am feeling not very good...i juz know wad i haf juz done and things are going to come back again and ppl are going to bring everything up again cos i haf done it b4....regretted saying stuff yest...he was thinking about tat definitely...but how the hell did i remember....damn manz....it aint true anyway....i am a guy can~!!!!!!!!! fark lar....although my thinking has changed....however, this time, i am not sure. hahah i am so bloody hell glad tat tis time i am not sure~!!!! Afraid of another failed one... but i am so scared....so sorry for every shit i haf done...cud feel so bad juz looking at him and knowing wad i haf done might haf been beastly. But I CANT FREAKING HELL helped it... its all part of me...being nice and u know it can lead to all sorts of things...juz like wad rubin said..."u juz gotta do everything correctly and say everything correctly and tats all...everything will be smooth very soon" Its so damn bloody true can... everyone get influence by tat....and i cant stand the fact tat after i haf 'left', things are being said, as i assumed lar...paranoid ass....when have i ever become like dat....damn manz....i am changing again.....