if i got the chance to ask...i will haf done so...but the situation doesnt permit me in doing so...i haf learnt...and i know the consequences...no point doing it if i know the ending...yet the happiness and fulfilment in btwn can be nice...i juz dunno wad to do...perhaps i can only say sorry...i supposed i am juz playing along...know myself too well....it aint wad it's supposed to be like...and so i cant do anything...yet how come i am saying all those things...there is this hope...yet this fear...i suppose everything else said is right...maybe not everything...but i am indeed mean...