LOL.....jas...nice email....

JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! LAH is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his manfred. So everyone please put your hands together for LAH!
Jerry: Okay, now LAH you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: Jaslyn.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Jaslyn, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you LAH, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... huattie!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a powerbomb. huattie reaches for the nuclear bomb. Out of the shadows Yifai appears.
Yifai: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here huattie.
huattie: Because I saw LAH and Yifai making out at fred's ass!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Yifai: That's a lie! I was home watching The Gay Flick!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem huattie?
huattie: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with manfred who has recently become engaged to Yifai.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring manfred out here because LAH had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Jaslyn that's right!
manfred: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Jaslyn! You know I'm how I feel about Jaslyn!.
Yifai: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Jaslyn!
manfred: Because I knew that I could never have Jaslyn. But LAH promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Yifai: What about respect for MY feelings!
huattie walks suddenly across the stage, embracing manfred.
huattie: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Yifai: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Yifai runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Yifai: LAH take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Yifai: Married?
You nod.
Yifai: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Jaslyn.
manfred: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Jaslyn: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 5 1/2 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... LAH is married to Jaslyn who manfred has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now manfred has recently become engaged to Yifai who was recently spotted kissing LAH in the fred's ass. Now on top of this huattie has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with manfred.
Jaslyn: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.