Dear Blog,

Came to the end of BSLC. Officially a CPL. The 32km Graduation March was tough, but i got through it. Reached Coy line, with a very strange feeling. Almost had an emotional outburst. Never felt so much before. Was on the bus watching the badminton finals when Hidayat won. He burst into tears. That was how i felt then... i swear if i let it all go... haha... it wouldn't be good... but... it was a sense of achievement definitely.

2 blisters. Legs aching. Went for Graduation Parade with FBO. Worst thing is they took a long time. 2nd worst thing was when you are shagged, you don't quite care about things. When they formed up, 2nd row ended up with one extra guy, meaning if correctly formed up, there should be one extra file. But Sch Best gave pandankerhadapan already. So the few guys there and me were trying to figure out what to do, but in the end decided that the best is to just not move at all. Warrant Felix forgot that platoon 1 has a lot more people than the rest of the platoons, and so he missed out 5 guys standing in the 2nd and 3rd row. So Warrant Kumar helped me put on my rank.

Went for special breakfast... then while sitting there... looked across the table and saw all the faces that went through all the shit with me for the past 10 weeks. Fellow soldiers whom kena everything single shit in BSLC, trainees whom grown and learnt alongside me... they've been great friends.

The postings rumours had started a few days back. I bet it was the same in every coy but in charlie, it is like some paparazzi room... all the statistics about the different support arms and ASLC... and the gossips about who is going who... haha... really funny to see all the shock faces when people play pranks about the postings... then somemore got people with friends working in HQ... so... haha... quite amusing to see guys getting so kancheong over their postings... really like postings during O levels sia... yeah anyway... posted to School Of Combat Engineers(SOCE), Nee Soon camp...

Lots of mixed feelings about it... because i had the final interview with PC... and boy it was a long one... we talked as if we knew each other for years... haha no la just kidding... but found out lots of stuff from him... don't know i should feel ego-boosting or disappointed that if i had tried, i would have achieved a lot more. PC said..."I am not saying that you only got yourself to blame..." but once he said that... in my mind i just said to myself "I only got myself to blame..." I will remember this sentence for the rest of my life...

It's true... they gave me a lot of chance... Sect Comm... LPS... LSM... Then again sect comm during one of the major exercises, Nutcracker... and i screwed the last one up. That was the deciding one... I have every reason to do well for that one, but i didn't... i simply bochup... and whom am i to blame, except myself... The peer appraisal shows where i stand... and my grade isn't that bad... considering that i don't study for tests... It's all me... to put it simply... Well... before i went into sispec... i said i will pia... but after i went in... all that was in my mind was just to get the 3 stripes and fuck off from there...

Haiz... seldom regret for things that had already happened... if only... during the nutcracker... that was the crucial one, when PC's eyes were on me... oh well... he said it true... i was going on up and up until the 5th week, when i went all the way down...... that was when Deneng started to bloom... PC called him a latebloomer... if he had pia earlier on... he would definitely had crossover...

Yeah and the 5 names i mentioned before... it was quite obvious from the start... only JZ got through?? I think it's crap cos he isn't outstanding... perhaps the only thing i can say is because he took his chance... then so happen to become platoon best... from there talk cock a bit and end up being coy best... but he's capable la... hope he gets into OCS... too bad KX didnt pass the security clearance... cos he is OCS material... always have been since BMT... posting him to guard the airbase is a waste of talent... anyone can do that... oh coming to this, i must say that the way the posting is done is the lousiest i ever seen. It is done randomly. I repeat. RANDOMLY. I am seeing capable leaders making their way to RP and signals when they should be up there among the best doing the commanding. They should be the ones in OCS and ASLC.

Reported sick on Tues. Went back BMTC. Saw Gary Chen there. Had a long talk with him and my opinions of ASLC totally changed. Wanted to go ASLC, mainly... because it's fun. Combat engineer sounds not so me. It sounds so science. It sounds too practical. Oh well... we shall see... one good thing is it's damn near my house and hopefully the hazard pay...

Li Jiawei's match now. Hope the best for her. Get Spore a Bronze manz.

Feels kind of funny. The transition phase from BMTC to Sispec wasn't so bad because many from Delta platoon 3 went to Sispec as well. I had so many friends there with me. BSLC wasn't so tough because i had them with me. But now... yes i know Terry and Chris are with me... but we might not get into the same section. I hate having need to go through the compulsory process of making new friends again. It's tiring. I've got enough friends. Too many to handle is stressful.

Think that's about it for this post.

The song by Ocean Ou De Yang - Gu Dan Bei Ban Qiu, kind of came out at a weird time, but it's a very nice song.

Yours,
Lah