Feeling very nulled... yes might be because of the sickness... hope to get well soon... applied for my course in nus already... to tell you the truth... i didn't give it much thought... there's this bit of regret and fear in me... what if... Anyway, i hope i can get into it la. My pride is getting into my way. I really find it hard to cope with failure. Screw it manz. And the "friends" thing is getting into me. It's true that you make friends everywhere, and why bother about how angry or sad they get when you are equally sad and angry at the same time. Come on manz... the world is all about you, you and only you. Why let others affect you? Haha... this is a very bad entry... Whatever la... i need to go and take a nap. Regretted throwing the paper away last night. Regretted deleting what i typed. I can't get the exact words right now, so whatever lor. I am tired. An obstacle just pops up in front of me like that. When can i take the test again? Earliest is april something, which i will most probably be confined. And i need a weekend. I hate hassles. Life's too smooth for me. Or rather, i guess when it got too rocky, i hide like a weakling. I hate uncertainty too. What is going to happen in the future? I am too much a perfectionist. Someone brainwash me please. Something is very wrong with me. Time to close down this blog. Cos i feel that too much writing and reading cause harm to everyone. But then like that what am i going to do when i am bored? Things had gone too well for me... for too long... which wasnt good... having trouble switching to a tougher mode... it's the same like those footballers who grew up in those shanty towns with the minimal necessities... they learn to work hard... think there is too much trouble and problems... i need to feel relaxed and comfortable... i need to play mahjong... i need to talk to people i can talk to... i need to be with people that i don't know... i need fun... and i need... haha i need a lot of things... I called her on sun night... she was busy but she said she will call back... if she calls... i think i might tell her i am busy and i will call her back some other time... do i need a new phone? i really feel like buying one... but after losing the 7250... which i see as something part of me... i felt that having that thing before was enough... i don't need another one to replace it... a phone is just a tool used for smsing and calling people... am i ranting? oh gosh i am... but then so what... my wish now should a genie comes out would be to know how to go back in time... so i can change the past... and then i shall call myself the ultimate time traveller... i was thinking of looking for the printed copy of the story i wrote... because suddenly i feel like writing chapter 11 and 12... probably scribble them in pencil... i realised that there is psychology and other stuff that i might be interested in at ntu... but its for the future batches... they are new courses la... i feel like playing gunbound now... bye.......