I need to get it into my thick skull that we will never go back to anything like before, not even near to it. All that the other party wishes is to cease all contact and i shall do just that from now on. If i break this promise, i am the worst chicken wuss in the world.

And i need to do a self-reflection again. I need to change my thinking, my mindset, my attitude and my emotions. I cannot think too extreme things because they are not reasonable. But i cannot understand this no contact thing. Like there's not even a phone call? Maybe there really is other factors so i ought to be understanding, but wouldn't it better if some kind of pre-warning is said first, or was it expected of me to understand on my own?

Anyway, pardon me. It's late at night.