I like how i am feeling these 2 days.

I think today is a good date to write this one-of-its-last-kind entry.

Sometimes, we all just need to do something drastic, to have the final breakthrough needed. Yesterday was a day to remember. After my interview, my friend suddenly smsed me to inform me that she can watch Going the Distance, so i rushed down to Vivo and caught the movie with her. Then as she had to go teach tuition, and i've got dinner with sw at 6pm, I went to look for fai for lunch.

Rather interesting lunch which led us to agree to get the guys to go see a fortune teller. We certainly aren't superstitious, but i think it will be an amazing experience.

After that, went down to fetch sw for dinner. Talked for 5 hours! Haha and then bumped into sarah at starbucks. She then dropped me a message saying if i ain't going home later, i could go find her. But after she didn't pick up her phone and i realized i was damn near qianfu's house, so i went to look for him. Actually it was cos i had to use the toilet =x Chatted with him for awhile before I went to look for Sarah. Managed to grab a bit more food before i got home.

Thing is ... with numerous conversations centering repeatedly on the same topic, everything just becomes very clear at the end of it all. I know i've said this before, but this time i can really feel the conviction.

All i want is for you to be happy as soon as possible. I am moving on as much as i can and i hope you would be happy to know this.

For the past 3 weeks, i've thought and rethink through the things that have happened, tried to guess as much as possible what everything meant, the whys and whats and i would like to believe i have the whole big picture.

We won't be happy together as a couple. The small little accumulation of the various quarrels we had have generated a substantial amount of unhappiness that both of us certainly felt. Our differences in values and principles with regards to various aspects of life played a major role in this.

Like i said before, understanding and acceptance are 2 separate things. I would like to think i can see both of them clearly now.

It is absolutely normal to feel sad, guilty and that it's a pity. Not that lousy emo kind of feelings that teenagers feel, but i think i am beginning to understand all of this.

But ultimately, we both have to accept this and move on happily in our lives. To pursue our goals and be who we are. I am thankful for whatever that has happened, and the crazy amount of stuff i have learnt this past 3 weeks. I would never have realized to respect others' values and principles in life, or the greatness of all my friends, or that many of them are having problems as well, or that not everything in life goes according to what i want, or that it is important to be optimistic but it is important to be realistic too ... just to name a few.

I hope you are doing well ... because i will be doing well. Hmmm .. i think me being the optimistic me, do believe that even though we had a really bad breakup, and both of us are probably needing some more time to recover from all this hurt and loneliness, i sincerely believe we really understand each other and that every bit of the past 6 years meant something to the both of us. But they will just be awesome great memories when we reflect and think of how crazy we were back then, not knowing what we were even in for when we first started out.

Be proud of what we had before ... because life goes on. I learnt in school that grievances and getting over traumatic and emotionally-tough events take some time. I don't know what else i can do on my part so i am just hoping if you know i am coping well, am holding nothing against you, and wishing simply that you would be happy, then it would help you to be normal again ... you know me, i will just give you that smile.

Writing this now, hmmm i think we would be, or rather can be great friends. Not sure if you can see that, though i sincerely hope you can. Haha honestly i think we would be really awesome friends. Or maybe too idealistic again =/

There are characteristics of me that are innate, which fundamentally form me for who i am. Add in the upbringing, family cultures, biological genetics transfer from my parents, i become who i am ... with plenty of flaws.

I am just glad i am much more aware of them now. Always got to improve i guess! =)