Had that dream again... its like some sequel... clearly remembered having that dream sometime back... but i think i am really crazy about the idea of being an astronaut... then i remember the 1st dream had me off in space... but this time it just end after we board the bus... the plot was similar thoughout... i am like some spy or something... then twice in both dreams i mixed up the place where the capsule is... this time i saw qorrine, sharon, isaring, mr glascow, bro paul, my sis, my mum in the dream... that's all for the people i clearly remember... the rest were just people whom i haven't see before but were very friendly in helping me fulfil my task... then this time there was one part where i had to cross the road to get to the capsule and the wind was blowing so damn hard and i was moving in slow motion, even the cars weren't moving any faster... and i remember using my phone... because it was my sis' birthday... but now thinking of it... next year at that time i would be in tekong... and i remember using the phone to send her a birthday msg... so the thing about going into army sort of changes into finishing a mission... i had to gagged the actual guy and changed to his suit... but my t-shirt didn't match... but no one noticed... i remember last time waking up with my heart pumping away because it's the 1st time and i had no clue on what to do... but this time it was faster... more straightforward... and i don't know why i woke up...

... ... cow... ....

Don't some soccer players just remind you of some people...?

Fredrik Ljungberg looks like Seann William Scott and Gabriel Batistuta looks like a slimmer Big Show to me...

I thought a lot about dreams. Like last night i didn't have quite a nice one. But i couldn't quite remember what it was about after i woke up. I kept on thinking but it didn't come back.

I don't put much emphasis on them i think.

But i thought dreams are a reflection on the real world?

Then am i running away from reality?

But then... aiya don't know la...

There is this malay guy at macs. He reminds me a lot of derek, that guy who was in ms nathan's class in the 1st 3 months. He is one hell of a clean freak or he is just plain hardworking. He is always cleaning... always cleaning as in really always always. You can see the other people, especially the girls. They aren't any hardworking and when there's no customers around, they will just stand and talk at the counter. Whereas this guy here... ok he never works at the counter. He is just around everywhere else. Clearing the rubbish bin, spraying water on tables and chairs and wiping them again and again. He has a very serious look on his face and whenever he finishes something, he will look for something else to do, ie. always doing something.

He is every bosses' dream worker.

Today he came in at about 4 and started working straight away. He doesn't talk much to his colleagues though, but anyway i think they are too noisy and too unfocused.

That day he was still there at 10. There were a few customers left but he was still cleaning. Wiping and wiping.

RESPECT.

Anyway, the site i mentioned below is kind of informative, though there is a lot of advertising on the products with names like Power V, Long Lasting III and MoodMax. Haha... it is really corny la... but it's very interesting...

Got this from a link from friendster... about masturbation...

Frequent masturbation and ejaculation stimulate acetylcholine/parasympathetic nervous functions excessive can result in over production of sex hormones and neurotransmitters such as acetylcholine, dopamine and serotonin. Abundant and unusually amount of these hormones and neurotransmitters can cause the brain and adrenal glands to perform excessive dopamine-norepinephrine-epinephrine conversion and turn the brain and body functions to be extremely sympathetic. Other words, there is a big change of body chemistry when one excessively masturbation.

Note: Masturbation is a healthy sexual behavior.(cool shit...) Like other behaviors, when over practiced or addicted it can lead to both psychological and physiological imbalances.

Recent medical studies from AMA have shown that women whom excessively use vibrators and men whom masturbate frequently have experienced many fatal symptoms including eyesight becoming shaky or blurred. If you have noticed these symptoms, you need to stop the over masturbation and recover from the exhaustion. If left untreated, you will go blind.

How much is too much masturbation (and sex for that matter)? That depends but I recommend men to keep their ejaculation frequency down to 2-3 times a week. However, sexual activity can be experienced more often if men learn how to orgasm without ejaculation. To learn how to do so, click here. Doing so can actually store the bioenergy into your system and make your penis firmer, your erections last longer, and your ejaculate volume bigger.

Over-masturbaters would experience problems with concentration and memory. This is a dangerous side effect of over-masturbation and signals that the brain is being over drained of acetylcholine. Over-masturbating can also drain the motor nerves, neuro-muscular endings, and tissues of acetylcholine and replace it with too much stress adrenalin which is where absentmindedness, memory loss, lack of concentration, and eye floaters come from. To fight these symptoms, the chemical levels in your body needs to be balanced.

Notice a pattern yet? The plethora of problems associated with over-masturbation come from the fact that your body is drained of important nutrients and hormones.

So actually it's good stuff that's coming out...

As you can see, masturbation is very damaging if done excessively. But at the same time it can be a source of pleasure and knowledge; as most people learn about sex and sexual pleasure through masturbation. In fact, I often encourage men to masturbate in a certain way in order for them to increase sexual pleasure and to improve the quality of their erections. But I do not advocate masturbating excessively and after reading this, you shouldn’t either.

Humans are very weird things. They are hypocrites as they do not keep according to what they say. At this moment they can be feeling open-minded, so this is said, but at another moment they are feeling moody, so they criticised this and that... everything is very muddled... If they can't get what they get, they get angry with the person who gets the thing they want...

If they cannot admit to a mistake, they give excuses. If they purposely don't know, they will keep to it even when someone tells them and they realised but they still keep to their ignorant attitude.

It's... i don't know how to feel... should i be amused about it being interesting or sad about it?

Humans are really hard to understand...

Graduation Day today. Very crappy day... haha... went school then take and take and take photos... then i got damn turned on taking photos... its so exciting... then i will go YAAAYYY~!! after each photo is taken... then i used my phone took about 20 odd photos... the activity in the class was kind of dead because everyone is like so tired and stuff.. but after that we just anyhow draw loh...

To everyone that i know of in CJ: THANKS FOR BEING MY FRIEND~!!! haha... this sounds damn sad... but sincerly deep down... i mean it...

The ceremony was quite okie... lots of commendation for those good students... damn... if i had worked harder for CCA and had gotten an A... then i can stand up~!! hahaha... anyway the valeblahblah speeches were boring la... really but kind of fake... anyway the flame is good because my class got a whole page to ourselves... haha... then the testimonial is crappy... but its really nice to receive the programme card with the class photo on it... it's really special...

Went fish n co to eat... ms nathan treated and the whole class went... but it went up to 400 over bucks so we all chipped in 10 bucks each...

Haiz... 12 years of schooling... all the friends... all the teachers...

Going to watch the rundown later... it's bad when you can't read the movie timings on a newspaper...

Being "anything-also-can" isn't the same as being indecisive. Being indecisive is when you already got choices but you don't know which one to choose. And this is worse than anything also can.

Haha today is a crazy day. Went school with don't know what intention... actually there wasn't any intention at all... just that i felt that it's the last 2nd day of my official school term and so i should at least go... it was nice hearing bro. paul said all those stuff... and i was getting all kancheong about ms nathan seeing me... anyway i think she did... wanted to check my cca record but as nic confirmed again and again that i got a B so i really have no intention on staying on... actually wanted to go find ms nathan for the cca thing den me and ken stalked her but dun dare to ask her cos we scared she angry after bring told "not to mess with her temper"... anyway looked at the cca paper then mr phay came in so i stayed on... then i zhao loh... but di took so long so i stayed a bit longer... ate with rayner and XUUUUUUUUUCCCCUUUUUUUUUNNNNN and melvin came and he's damn funny... m. tan came to our table and asked rayner to cut his hair and i don't think he will remember me as in i don't think he knows me and i was supposed to go find him for not coming school on mon but i hecked... so i was just sitting there but melvin was obviously playing crouching tiger hidden dragon... haha damn funny... then took cab home and slp until just...

In school now... zhaoing soon... last 2nd official day of school... quite a few people turn out from my class... think because monday too many people zhao liao...

Yesterday's Sunday Times was good manz... glad they changed to that... what with the coverage of andrea and pierre's marriage... breast implants... losing weight... oh the funny part was that on the breast implants page got those ads about bust enhancements... and there was the article on the private side of DPM Lee...

Was reading an article the other day then they were saying people can overcome the barrier of distance in the future... a DVD can be d/l in 7 secs... haha imagine the time when u just want that movie and you just clicked and its *tada* done... just 1 second...

haha... "ENG WAH HAS CLOSED DOWN... POOR BUSINESS FOR BOTH SHAW AND CATHY... GV REFUSES TO COMMENT..."

to expect is very bad leh... oh ya nic just told me i got B for my CCA grades... haha yay!! i was expecting a C so i am happy now... hooorayyyy~!!!!

If i have the money now... i'm going to buy the set of clothes on display at the shop that i forgot the name at the side of orchard mandarin hotel... that shop is at the corner nearer to taka that side... it's on the mannequin on the extreme left...

but it's damn damn expensive... really... so i guess i've got to look for a top somewhere... i'm still looking for a screwed up jeans...

SHOW ME THE MONEY~!!!

guess i need a new title... it's true... i am really very misunderstood... either that... or i do make myself very clear... just that others assume too much and think otherwise... that's why misunderstanding me... what i state i want people to hear... but due to human nature, i guess people prefer to block out some stuff they don't want to hear and to emphasize on something that is not said at all...

my sister's nagging at me... mei da mei xiao...

I hate actors who can't speak one language but purposely go and learn to speak that just for a show... like now la... fulltime killers is on tv and andy lau is speaking japanese... which isn't quite good... and the recently ended baby boom which you have gurmit singh speaking chinese... that's not speaking loh... that's singing...

Went to sakae yesterday again... haha... twice in a week... and i just had steamboat for dinner... arghhh... I'M FLABBY~!!!!

Going to go macs everyday... gonna make sure those people there know me... haha... imagine their faces when they see me everyday...

"he is the sort of guy who gives you very practical advice and sometimes a bit straight up and it's kinda up to you to take it or leave it, which is a part of him that I admire most cause he never tries to give you hope when there isn't at all"

haha... i don't know what to feel... whether i should be happy or sad or angry because of that statement...

i am a slack freak...

and something's wrong with my IE...

school's ending soon... what an exciting 2 years... really made the most out of it... got punctured a bit this year... but overall it was quite okie... and what a fine testimonial i have... ms nathan really got our best interests at heart...

I haven't done my econs and i haven't done my lit... so well done to me...

There was an abundance of beauties at heeren yesterday... they were literally everywhere... there were angmohs, japs, eurasians every single pretty thing you can find... there was this jap who got this really low cut dress... whatever was showing... erm... was showing...

Those neoprint machines nowadays really amaze me... but its getting more expensive but more fun also... i don't care next time going to really play the machine out... but it was fun la... i think i am a country bumpkin haha...

I shall make myself a permanent resident of macdonalds seletar. It is pretty good there, and it allows me to cycle here and there and to work my legs out.

Punctuality tells a lot... and the lack of it will just result in the "waitee" losing hope in the "take your own sweet timer"...

It tells a lot on how one feels and respects about the other. Being punctual is only being polite and respectful.

2 days of puking sessions are going to make me fat... i felt flabby today already after yest's meal...

The yuki-yaki at cine quite cool... everyone should go try it out... but i don't think the place can survive in the long run... because it is a bit expensive and you don't get stuff like fish and prawn... but the "cook your own food" part is a great turn on... especially when you cook as well as me... haha...

When a girl and a guy sit together, perhaps for example for night study, then everyone assume that they are together... how wonderful... and a few single dates with one another also spark rumours very easily...

Today the lock at the small gate cannot open... i was prepared to run for it... but it closed too fast... so i ended up climbing over the wall... the security guard was looking at me...

It is also amazing how words get around so fast... it is even more astounding when rumours AKA false stuff get around even faster...

I cannot imagine how anyone can play with friendsters... kenneth could... haha...

Do i look very tense? Do i look stressed out? Is it really that bad? Do i really subconsciously display such an exterior? Maybe i do feel the strain... maybe only la... but if i do really feel tensed up... i had tried my best to keep it in... okok i found an explanation for it la... i am a guy who needs a lot of rest... as in a lot a lot... imagine a lot... and i really don't study much at home... and i sleep early... but i still end up looking tired the next day in school... so everyone assumes that i study real hard... which is not so... ya... perhaps that is why la...

And so in conclusion... i need to study harder...

Sakae was pukey manz... i was thinking... if everyday like that... then i just need to eat 2 meals a day... but the costs very expensive... so cannot la...

Went into the arcade... still haven't tried out time crisis 3 yet... and toa payoh is a very complicated place... you see juveniles cigging everywhere...

Went to watch infernal affairs 2... not as good as the first... this is more background stuff and more explanation whereas the continuation is more action and suspense...

I MUST STUDY STUDY STUDY~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh... went by the impactshop at cine the other day... that one near the cd shop... the salesgirl cum cashier is extremely attractive... go check her out manz...

Erm.. well erm... aiya damn... i forgot what i want to say... oh ya it's kenneth's bday in 2 hrs and 15 mins... i will be the 1st one to wish him happy bday... hahaha... must go prepare now...

Had a surprise gp essay test... wrote it in a new way... so i see how is the outcome loh...

Mr T. brought up a very good point today... something which we discussed that day... 2 people very much in love do not necessarily have to get married... but due to Asian culture and tradition, that is quite difficult for us here as compared to the Westerners...

Going to Sakae tmr... so i'm not going to eat anything until then... then can eat and eat for the buffet...

wah i swear england last night got my heart pumping like crazy... beckham slipped and missed penalty... anyway they are through la... so its okie...

Finally received my enlistment letter. I thought they miss me out. Ya... it is on 30th march... cool... just what i want...

When you don't live in reality for sometime, you just tend to stay away, and the more you do it, the more you are addicted to it. Eventually, you will be reduced to a whimpering ass, someone whom no one can help. Only you can help yourself and the only way is to come back to reality.

Don't make-believe. Because when things are not and never like this... and you continue believing otherwise... you will be so disillusioned that eventually when truth hits you, you become a pig.

I had been off reality for recent days. Yes yes being egoist and confident is one thing... but when it goes over, like really over, it starts to eat into you.

I somewhat remember that time when infernal affairs 1 came out... i think i went to watch it with kenneth and zijie... before i watched it... i thought it is just a simple chinese show... but after watching it... it is quite intellectual and smart... it is good la...

now got the prequel leh... should we go watch again?

There's such a term as "caving". Cool... It's something like eating or walking... caving is just caving loh...

Now i know the reasons for ranking schools and the difference they make...

When you are in a school that biasness and whatsoever is so prevalent that made the marking by teachers and scores given to be so inconsistent... you just... suddenly... don't know what to do...

Study also like that... don't study also like that... what are they trying to perpetuate?

In addition to that sometimes they don't clarify and let you know how things should be... it just further proves how lousy things can get...

You just don't know what is right or wrong...

Trying and working so hard at something is to produce results... but when it doesnt... it gets very demoralizing... and imagine...

1)just because the teacher likes you, then before she marks it... the grades she will give fall straight away into an A or B category... so lets say la... this student wrote exactly the same thing as me... i get a D and he/she gets a B... how interesting it will be if we students are not called by names but by numbers... my point is just that if there are no names on the scripts... the marks given to some students will be very very different...

2)you wrote a hell lot of stuff...5 pages in fact... and someone else wrote 1 and a half sides... you got 15/50 whereas he got 25/50... and for goodness sake... 25/50 is a pass... for lit... usually la... you don't pass by handing up 1 piece of paper... lest to say 1 and a half side... even if you had gone off point somewhere... the other stuff you wrote will still at least warrant points right...

at this point a question comes into my mind...

-You and another student do the same question
-You wrote 6 sides
-He wrote 3 sides
-The stuff you wrote for 3 of the 6 sides are crap
-All the stuff he wrote are correct
-We don't consider language... lets say both are about the same...

So shouldn't the marks of both scripts be about the same? Unless you tell me there are penalisation for wrong stuff la...

haiz... if so many people are getting 17-25 marks upon 75... it just says that you suck.

argh damn... mixed emotions... don't know should be happy or sad... i think it is the first sign of hope...

oh... had a discussion with kenneth about the theme of domination... i think everything is about domination loh... because humans are evil... haha... even things done out of goodwill can be mistaken as a plot to dominate...

"Just strike me with a lightning right here right now."

-Lynn

yea manz... just do the same to me also la... this is like so pointless... i am now looking for hope all around...

oh ya again!! i signed up for my SATs also... and cut my hair also!!! hahaha... now i look like small boy...

oh ya!! i finally on my 3rd attempt in 5 months, managed to finally sign up for my theory test... but guess what... i am only going to study the shit on that day itself... i need my studying brain manz...

What a mess... what troubles...

Zahid yest at night study was hilarious...

marcus selling his bike for 1000+...

getting an E for lit and O for econs... and oh ya oh ya!! i shockingly scored the highest for a&c... definitely the text that i see as my weakest one... hah... what a screwed up exam...

been very rebellious...

and i think i just suffered a blow that is lethal enough...

My number has been permanently changed from now onwards... so erm... update la... the number's below...

deleted.

I don't know how to say this... because it does involve everyone... but i just don't like it when people dwell on self-pity... and when things are good... they make it seem like so good... and when things are bad... they are like suicidal and totally anti-social... and this happens so much more often than the former... something like on a ratio of 5:1... 1 being the good day... it sucks manz...

I just don't like it... it is okie if the bad day is like once a week or 2... but not like today bad mood... tmr bad mood... then rest for one day... then bad mood again... what is with this moodswings manz?? Hey you need a stabilizer manz!!

I could not resist the temptation to feel angry... when people cried out in self pity... again yes... you can cry out in self pity once or twice every now and then... but not so much so that i couldnt exactly remember when you actually feel good...

I've thought of the future... dennis' statement of me balancing work and play is not true... i play so much more... but anyway... i don't know la... i just wanna try my best... hope for the best... and if things really really really cannot... then i see what i can do... this is so different 2 years ago...

I can read back on the blogs 2 years ago and i could see myself encouraging myself... planning this and that... not so much as whining and complaining me... i am so much spoilt... so much more different...

When you have to strive out on your own without any or much support... it just sort of toughens you... changing you to almost self-made... i don't know la... aiya don't know means can't be bothered to think loh...

I realised something lately also... the things which people of equal status write of... i just do not have such a desire to read... haiz this arrogance... unless its bounded by competition or closer concern... i would rather read something more professional... things that will teach me instead of making me confused and disgusted... haiz... this ignorance and pride...

haha what an entry...

haha today's straits times got something about blog... how ironic can it be when it wrote about close-knitted friends starting a blog to know about the ongoings of each other when i just started one yesterday... anyway i was kind of inspired by adrianne la... she has one too and i thought it is quite fun and interesting...

ATTENTION!! I just signed up for a starhub line and the number is 90252095. My M1 number is still active la... currently for this week will be using M1 sim card until the starhub line is fully activated which will be next week... erm... but after i use the starhub number... still can call me at my M1 number... but just update la... then when i call or sms using the starhub line... the starhub number will appear... ya... so please take note in case of any confusion... i will most probably be switching to the starhub sim card by next week...

I wont do well for my prelims.

Just read through a few blogs... jiechao's totally shocking results and some other good results... in addition to the fact that cedric got 25/25 for that economic geog essay... i believe it is time to put all distractions aside... told di yest... my life yest was at a stagnant point... think it is the family thing la... but anyway i don't care anymore... if others can do it... so can i... i always believe in that...

oh... had lunch at dan ryan's yesterday... think we ordered a bit too little... 8 sets would be more appropriate...

ISTJ - "Trustee". Decisiveness in practical affairs. Guardian of time- honored institutions. Dependable. 6% of the total population.

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I swear everyone's going to change to Starhub soon... what with 1000 free sms, free incoming, outgoing 100 mins and other extra rewards if you sign up for the MTV code plan at just 35 bucks a month... what is this manz... this is like the plan nicely suited for me... ALL HAIL STARHUB~!!!!!

oh damn guess what... one of my fears yesterday for not going school today was that they will give out the results... then at night i dreamt of getting them back... saw the 'geog paper'... that was what it seemed like la... and 1 paper the marks are quite okie... but for the other paper it was a total screw up... and furthermore like got error like that...

argghhh shall go study... later going tp to help mel...

A totally massive site which inter-connects so many people together. It is like a huge friendship game. But between the lines is this dark objective in getting as many friends as possible. Also quite amusing and humourous at the way everyone knows everyone. Especially that dear jas... hahaha... i just don't know how she gets to know people that i can't imaging her knowing... hahah...

Anyway... this 3 days had been bad... yesterday was the worst day i had in years...