i cannot be fren wif u if u dunwan to...
i cannot respect u if u dun respect me...
i cannot love u if u dun love me...

a lot a lot of ppl know tat wadz...i am not the sort who goes ard looking for frens....ppl come a-knocking to make frens wif me...if not den i dun care oso....always glad to haf one more extra fren...not having one more is fine wif me oso...as i had said...i can live wif the few ppl ard me now....even if all others die....this few and me...i would haf thank whoever for even allowing that to first happen...

hmmm...ppl like paul...nv really talk to him much...but i know him...he knows me...ppl hate him...i dun...i am ok wif him...he's friendly to me...tats why he's my fren....erm...ppl like mark...he knows me...definitely...we live damn near by oso...but we dun talk...cos he dun talk to me one...haha...both of us are shy....erm...daniel zhang and daniel soh...dunno them well oso...but always come my class borrow books...talk to me too...so i now laugh at their jokes and lameness too...push them on during pe and we sweat together....ahhhh oh ya...take andy for example...only met him last dec...at a club...and after tat in sch always hihi....pe oso talk to me first...i love those kinda ppl manz...haha...fiona's online now....yay...she nv board the bus i was on this morn...perhaps still waiting for a fren...anyway...gotta go study econs liao...stay happy everyone~!!

erm...the nokia 3650 phone is really attracting me now....

qooo's 11th month anniversary wif han today...my bday in 1 month time...

erm....i miss my cable modem....it shud be in my room instead of where it is now....

erm...its really really cute if they do blah blah blah....but i can so imagine the corniness...haha...but i think in the end wad rubin say will come true...indirectly la...juz wait and see....

realised that hate will get u nowhere...u die earlier tat way...

eh...lily...cannot leh...i changed it to monthly already....but it refused to change....its still there in the blog....

i looked at those workers behind my house tat day...in the heat right under the sun....whew...den i decided to make a pact wif them....for how hard they work...i shall study juz as hard....my conditions are indeed so much better than them...anyway i got my priorities liao...well...ptm did do my good...

arghhh....i everything got A....den 2.4 can get B one....den my pull ups juz had to screw up....haiz....do the whole thing again some other day loh...in the mean time...its pumping and pull ups everyday...

tat ego freak is really getting on my nerves....wads wrong wif him manz....cant he juz treat us all similar as him and not him as someone supreme one...

was reading fai's blog...remembered he said smth..which is extremely nice...about cathigh...giving him so many buddies tat part....=)
well...i wouldn't have been who i am today w/o alot of ppl...some of these ppl didnt change me much...some did...but anyway...the main point is that they are my truest frens...call them best frens...call them pals...thanks fai, huat, fred, wf, ber and boon...thanks brothers...got time go eat prata k???

i am so so so glad i said my part during the debrief during O2 about the miscommunication and the stuff tat went wrong during games...at least...a few more ppl know who i am like(yea...think of my full of shit expression at tat time)haha......erm......holy shit~!!! does tat mean i am always whom i am not??? oh gosh...tats bad....

but perhaps...finding a logical explanation will be that...i am big la...big in the sense that i made up of a lot of things....haha...yea...like oxygen...blood...and hair oso....haha....

haiz...why do i always talk in lousy english...den let ppl guess the actual meaning...haiz...i think is bcos of fear la...honestly afraid of ppl finding out who i am...but why shud i?? or issit scared to say the wrong things??? scared to handle the responsibility in saying those things?? yea perhaps so...gotta change tat...haiz...its juz a fear la...everyone oso got fears wadz....haha...

acting stupid...acting spastic...acting dumb...i can do it all manz~!!

well done..one grammy award for me~!!!

freak manz...i lost so much of those blog sites after my com came back...fav list so short now...

surprised that i can still write so positively after wad happened juz now...told her liao....next time say no if she doesnt know can anot...in tat way i wont pin so much hope...but i know its juz excuses to cover up my anger...and disappointment..but i am okie liao..dunno about her...her reply was brief....well...evaluation....its not her fault la...hmwk's more impt...told her b4 i want her to do well...my ego was boosted tat day when asked wad haf i done for her...perhaps tat way my expectations rise again...time to lower it...and den well...perhaps bcos i did alot to make today free...was lucky tat training was yest oso...tats why i got pissed...lots of perhaps here and there....erm...like minor points...but well nvm la...shall apologise later...

dun read this if u are not in the mood for shit...

erm...actually hor...everyone on earth...can be equally similar to everyone else...equally similar as in similar la...aiya...read it in simple english...look at it this way...."if that person can do it....you can do it too..."

get it?

if tat person doesnt get so much shit as u...why cant u??
if tat person can talk to everyone nicely w/o having to put on a fake smile...why cant u??
if tat person can be so happy day in day out....why cant u??

dun tell me u are not as capable as him...dun tell me u are lousier....its all excuses....

yea manz...so smile everyone...its a better tmr....

i look upon those words wif the expression o_0

amused....

hello everyone...welcome to the talk on....acceptance....

ask yourself a very simple question....

everyone that u met today....juz for today....can u accept them for who they are?

if cannot rite...den i guess its better for you not to mix around wif him/her.

i wrote tat kinda stuff when i first started my blog...everyone knows that....it was all awful...really really degrading....now i see a deja vu manz....whew....i think i will need to wait 1 yr plus b4 someone's matured enough....

why so much hatred? why???
seriously is there a need to??
are u sure u want to let me see that ugly side of urs??
start thinking of peaceful ppl....start thinking....really....erm...right now i am thinking...perhaps bcos of the ppl that had a bit of impact on me recently...i will think of dennis...well...i love tat guy manz...he's like...peaceful....i will call him an angel...for this....i respect him...not many can earn my respect...u can see it from the way i talk...i think of gary oso...he's one hell of a great guy....someone else?? erm....well....kenneth....tat idiotic piece of shit...well no matter how idiotic and how shitty he is...he is one farking peaceful guy....for tat....juz for tat....if nothing else...i respect him too....i can still go on...about how matured he is....how matured all of them are....ppl whom i always wish i am like....ppl whom i work towards...juz trying to be tat small part of which they possessed....peaceful ppl...conclusion...is that...they are ppl whom others look up to.

long long time ago...i used to haf this shit about 'downgrading'...when someone did smth stupid...tat really is stupid...he juz gives me tat impression tat he's juz downgrading himself...tau knows it...i told him even...he laughs it off and continues doing it...until he's like negative...but deep down...i knew he got it....yar anyway...tat time i was negative too....not anywhere near zero definitely....

why stoop?
given the chance to rise...why stoop??

i was...........erm....a bit shocked juz now...although it was true...i gotta admit... true...really....but...tats all kinda "seeing from only one angle"....u know...like....okie rubin will juz ask me to shut up even b4 i start saying...but very simply...an orange on a table...u juz look at it w/o moving...how much of the orange can u see....wad if tat side u see is rotting...wif maggots and shit...and a lame leg there too...well.....go on and throw the orange away...

i am feeling damn lousy now saying how these...brings back my shitty side...haha...yea u know...full of shit side...perhaps i shud juz del this whole thing off and be a matured young chap....why bother?? why stoop to such a level??

job well done....

WHOA HOOOO~!!! hahahhahaha LOL~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! damn funny....wad i said is actually coming true~!!!!!!!! hahahhahahahhaha~!!!!!!!!!!!

not going to dl msn...so ppl...i wont be online in msn anymore la....can always contact me on icq or irc...

update on recent times....erm...helped out on good friday in sch...saw lots of kneeling and praying...erm...went sushi tei for dinner...went youth park...saw a tranvestite...really like zharboh....at home now on easter sunday...oh yar...went swensen's yest...had chicken baked rice....whewww....it was good manz...need to finish up on econs tys...and geog case study...

using windows 98 now...shudnt trash my com wif shit again...keep it low manz...no more rubbish...den can maximise performance...

haha...i am back...really sian to find everything gone...irc gone...icq gone....msn gone...kazaa gone...every single mp3s gone again...
read up on others blogs so as to add them to my favs...found out they wrote a lot while i was away...haha...the things ppl write..sometimes in real life...they dun talk the way they write...is it hypocritical?? anyway...yest went to watch oliver...quite good...the effects...but i think a wee bit too many songs...reminds me of xmas play though....haiz...miss those times....

sometimes....when dreams and realities seem so blurred that as though both of them mixed together...waking up from a dream and experiencing smth while awake soon become confusing...not knowing whether its true anot...daytime hopes?? or perhaps mere fantasising or combined together and appear in dreams...which make them almost real...juz tat when u woke up...u juz so dearly wish tat all of those could haf been real....den in real life...when it does happen....u dunno whether its a dream or wad....dreams are very scary....very very.....and confusing also...cos u juz dunno wad u shud do in a dream...and also during real life...i dunno wad im saying...hard to explain la...its juz troubling me....this morn...woke up....heart was pumping away....knew i dreamt of smth...but forgot wad it was...

2 new birds came to the backyard again...this time smaller ones...laobu going to film them again....haiz....cant they juz leave mother nature alone...look at wad happened the other time....haiz....2 lives can....

today is sunday...tmr is monday...got sch tmr...watching tv now...about how ppl cant drive...i cant wait to go learn how to drive....holy shit...a cow juz ran across the road...

got so bored juz now....installed monopoly to play....time to go finish up on my hmwk...

arghhh...sian 1/2...

using sis's laptop...com really spoilt liao...cant do anything...cant visit any of the blogs...sorry peepz...really tired now...had mass pe yest...training today...stayed back to watch cj's match wif the ex-soccer nationals...drew 1-1...they played quite well actually...dunno heard from where but they say the ex nationals trashed vj 10-0 or 10-1....hahah bullshit la....today cca orientation....60 plus ppl signed up for council....a bit little...but nvm la...we will see....parents and sis going out to watch sneak preview of johnny english...not going cos too tired...erm...sch's starting to get normal now...got a new classmate too...

com spoilt liao...

tmr sch starting~!!

my dad juz broke the bird's eggs yest..killing everything tat is inside it...den this morn he tries to deprive me of my slp...like when does he doesnt do tat...and den he tries to suffocate me by switching off the aircon and leaving the windows shut...haiz...well done daddy....

was copying her nick over to paste over here...but having problem doing so...wanted to paste here stuff about boy and gal stuff...but in the end end up deleting the contact...well...i guess when its gone..its gone...

developing headache nowadays when i didnt slp enough....

hahz...i think sidney muz be thinking how idiotic i've became...

hahaha...why does the guy always slp in his briefs...?? lol...

he wasnt good enough for her...but sorry gal...u've juz missed out....

ntuguy> organising mass orgy....NEED MORE girls now....any girl/ladies interested MSG ME NOW!

ever realised it always the guys who are horny???

insecurities and fears...wad are they?

going out play lan wif ken and jiji soon...

'the furthest dist on earth is not btw hell n heaven...but its when i m rite in front of u n u dun even noe i love u....!'

"True love is not perfect love. And if isn't, what are we going after?"

whoa man u won liverpool last nite~!!!!!! 4-0~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

juz woke up...haiz...haha...every morn they do the same...come in...make a din....den complain this and that...in the end i get woken up oso...so here i am...yest got headache...not enuf rest i guess...went to slp real early...so this morn feeling quite good...sunday....juz remembered cant go for the 19th april lesson...got oliver...but not sure until wad time...so maybe can take cab pia down...breakfast timeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........

ear stick got lost tat day during the match...den put the stud in...den now having problems taking it out....arghhh...haha...

was reading newspaper juz now...den saw alot of new phones...esp nokia ones...all coloured phones coming out now...den got camera oso...haiz...anyone wants to go out tmr?? billard??

was playing solitaire juz now...really get my mind cracking...den headache...hahaha...havent think for too long...

haha well done...moe has done it again...

erm....dunno whether got extension to the hols anot...i really wish dun haf leh...cos i want to study....but well...on the other hand...1 or 2 days of extra break might be good....

tiring day...probably havent had a proper rest the previous 2 nites...

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[FiO]afk> omg eh u realli gay ah
aNhOnG-NA> haha
aNhOnG-NA> dun tell u leh...

some ppl are quiet at times when i was noisy...
some ppl grew up feeling older and wiser...
some others juz grew up being noisy...and irritating...

wad is it tat i wanted to say juz now?????????????????????????

damn...thinking now..but dun remember anything...oh ya...and corey's out cos of some stupid thing...haiz...i wanna see the actual outcome of him leh...

we lost the match juz now...2-3 to css...erm...honestly we shudnt haf lost la...

i swear i saw her again...it shud be her...that look...tat face...its like....familiar?? yar...i dunno who is she...i dunno where she comes from....but..last time...i tot she was my neighbour...tat time when i was still living in yishun...it indeed looks like her..tat ny gal....saw her again last yr...twice...during clubbing...she is stunning i swear...really...tat cute face...whew...den i saw her juz now...again...at the econ minimart at my house here...we had eye contact...i think she knows me...bcos of tat time at one of the clubs...but the ques is...wad is she doing here?? puzzling manz...i'm not like attracted or wad la...but i am juz curious to find out...who the hell actually is she...

happy april fool's day...