林俊杰的害怕比较好听呢？


还是孙燕姿这首比较好听。。?

Thanks qing ... for your entry ...



这几天来， 我一直都在听罗志祥的歌。 慢慢地真正明白他的歌。也看到他一直以来的努力。

而我也开始明白爱情的深度，非我所以为的那么简单。那些起起伏伏并非是坏事，只是让你更了解所有的一切。爱情随时都有可能发生，只看你怎样去掌握。

那时的我有两个选择；一辈子的好朋友，或是勇敢的做一次她的男朋友。。但我现在不晓得哪个选择是我或她一直都所要的。

---------------------------------------------------------

I think whatever happened has too much of a ripple effect. I looked at my friends and saw how much i could relate to them, suddenly. Either that i'm beginning to see the connections, or that everyone starts to reflect and even weirder stuff starts to happen.

Today has no song! Probably cos none matches up.

Nothing much today. KZhang didn't manage to buy his G2000 blazer. For those of you who still don't know, G2000 has a crazy sale going on right now and if you are looking for any formal wear, do head down and take a look. I absolutely love the jacket i bought. =)

Went down to OC to meet the cj ppl for dinner.

Then we went to the rooftop garden. If you are feeling upset or feeling lovey dovey with your whoever, it's a wonderful place to go. Not suitable for people who are scared of heights though. Extremely windy, and the view is terrific. And please please do not step into the pond. Those water-plant-like-things create a false facade of soiled ground but no, it's a bloody pond.

Oh i had a dream last night. Woke up thinking it was real and perfect cos i roughly remembered how it ended. I was smiling, but then after 3 seconds, i was like chey. It was only a dream, but the extremely positive feelings evoked made the negative ones harder to bear. Ah well ... dreams are funny. But it might happen you know. I've had several deja vu that happened to my long-ago-dreams already. =)

Plenty of observations and reflections today.

Went down to Parkway for some quick bucks.. which in the end after calculating the parking fees, that tshirt and then G2000 jacket that i bought today, i might have just lost about 1 dollar. =/

Haha really fml kind of thing but i think it's honestly not about the money. Actually think about it, if no work money then would have lost much more.

So about work, I am so glad for the awesome friendly colleagues! Even though it's my first time and I am seriously noob about it hence i wasn't confident in what was the right things to do, i got the hang of it pretty fast. And i am really proud of my people-reading skills. I know who can approach who got chance and who doesn't. Furthermore, i think i helped to push my colleagues a lot more and hence we hit the quota which is usually supposed to be for "good days". =))))

Well, Parkway being parkway, will always be associated to her. See the thing is i individually never have any associations with Parkway because i hardly do anything there on my own. So all memories with regards to Parkway always include her. For the first couple of hours it was really tough and i was afraid to be 'shyboy' or antisocial with my colleagues especially when the job requires the opposite. Can't help it la.

It's like the same with Dionne when I just kept on thinking she might just pop out suddenly but when logic kicks in, you know its impossible.

So anyway, the irritating thing was like Iyaz's Solo was playing non-stop in my mind, then when i finally got rid of it, it played in one of the shops when i walked past it. >.< But honestly i think i really like the song cos i think it has a really happy rhythm in it, though the lyrics are really imba.

Ok enough rambling. 3 issues.

Last night's talk with blonde revolved around emotional strength. Everyone has their own way to sort things out and deal with problems. Some people stay silent and some people run away for awhile, while some others choose to be in denial while others face them head-on. Staying silent and running away may not necessarily mean he is emotionally weak. All he's doing is his way of thinking things through, then dealing with it as he thinks through it, before coming back even stronger than before.

Emotional strength takes into account the time period. It also includes recovery time and resilience during the relevant period, especially not only when things happen. At that moment when things happen, the actions taken may portray weakness, yet in the long run, it may just turn out to be the stronger strategy.

I am not saying any strategy is right or wrong or which ways of doing things are stronger and weaker because no one can ever reach the conclusion even till the cow comes home. It would be a lot simpler to just accept that everyone solves their problems their own ways ... and that to live happily with someone, we just got to accept these differences.

Next, with problems, i don't ever run away. It may be interpreted as running away, but to me it's me taking time out to internalise and think through things and then returning happy because, well it's way too small to even be bothered about it. That's for 'small problems'

For big problems, i face it head-on. That is the truth. Thing is it sometimes gets me into lots of trouble because well ... the time isn't right. My emotions ain't right. Advantages are chop chop get it over and done with, but my friend asked me, won't i feel regret if things turn out bad?

Yes i might, but for awhile. Because i know the regret i would feel if i didn't do it would be way much much bigger. 5 years down the road when i look at it again and then i will start to question how would things have turned out.

For example, one of the regrets of my life is not running for house ic for the consecutive year. And because i wouldn't know how successful it would be. I don't want to be 60 years old and regret all the things i didn't do. I would rather i do something and regret it for a short time but yet learn a lot from it.

Life is about screwing up, if you like to think of it that way. Of course when i say do and try things, i am not saying go and do stupid things. These things have to be of the MOST CORRECT intentions and with a positive outcome in mind. Even if you fail, so be it.

Lastly, recently i notice a desire for me to have good positive last memories. I can't stand for negative last memories although i know logically it's not possible in the world. Some things are just not within our own control, yet honestly, i know some things you just got to try and do your best. Just like the previous point, if i have a negative last memory of a certain place, i will go there when the chance arises and make it happy once again.

Sorry i apologize for all these might seem like bullshit. But it's just me being honest with myself.

Parting thought ... It's been a really tough 2 weeks. Struggling, crying, holding it in, being strong outside, emo-ing till the verge you just feel like why is life so damn sad, and lots of why-must-it-turn-out-this-way ... all this pain and suffering ... the question is ...

Do they even hold up to what we already have? Are all these pain worth it now? Can i stop all these nonsense now?

6 years of memories. Replayed them phases by phases and then suddenly realized how much we both shared. It wasn't 2-3 years. It wasn't just a normal relationship. It was ours.

Ok let me be emo for the night.

Hanging out before i went into army. Cheering me up. Falling in love. Realizations of feelings. Heat exhaustion in army. First thought was her. Holding that hand. By the river. Promises before she flew off. Us being brave. Really brave. Those overseas phonecalls. Asking her to imagine me asking her to be my girl. Our anticipation of our 1st reunion. Buying calling cards. Skype. Webcam. Weekend emails. Playground. Our first kiss. Sadness before she goes back. Last night's packing. Goodbye and take care video messages. Xiao bi. Bi Zai. Bear bear. First visit. Second visit. Third visit. And all that anticipation in between. All the anniversaries. Our birthdays. Malaysia. Cruise ship. Taiwan. Hong Kong. All that movies. All the piggy backs. All the wu gui che. All the many many little things that i don't want to think of anymore cos it hurts.

Really worth it?

You can ask me until I am 75 years old, have changed so much, and probably suffering from dementia and I would still say no. Not worth it. Absolutely doesn't match up at all.

Hahahaha omg 小猪 is such an idiot =p

小豬vs康康 百分百大對抗 模仿比賽


2007.12.13小豬在娛樂百分百模仿蘇打綠的青峰唱小情歌


小猪在刘德华面前模仿刘德华


娛樂百分百(TWINS 聽證會) - 小豬模仿劉德華、郭富城



And this is why I always love to see him and Jolin onscreen together.

I think I'm feeling so much better because of acceptance. I always thought understanding and acceptance come hand in hand, but there will be times when you can't understand but you gotta accept. The main reasons behind what happened were primarily due to our general unhappiness.. and this was caused by our differences in values, with how we see things and do things.

So once I accepted this fact, other things just fall into place.

Then I talked to my favorite blonde psychology friend and I'm glad we speak the same language =p Different stages of life, different stages of a relationship require for different things. As long as we face up to these differences, it's so much easier to accept that this isn't what I was looking for either.

Right now, i am thinking of friendship. As much as I want to think for the future and for the wonderful mutual friends, for the sake of 6 years of memories, of not feeling pity for the wonderful things we have shared, I got to accept that her method of dealing with it is total cutoff.

Anyway, talking to blonde is an amusement because she understands me extremely well. I'm absolutely shocked to be honest. But she makes hell lot of sense.

Yet at the same time, it's sad to think that relationships could be so fragile. It seems that if u can imagine this checklist of things to match between 2 persons, it's almost impossible to match most of them. Yes I agree that as long as the important ones are matched, it's more or less alright. Yet any mismatch in any single one box can potentially ruin a relationship.

Okay dinner now at some jap restaurant! Very exp leh no work no money =(

*Update
During dinner, after all the talk about men and women and how different their communication styles are like, for the first time in 2 weeks, i felt excited about the future =) and i would like to choose to think of this as a huge step.

Ter had a uniform party at his place last night and seriously, I felt old! Seeing the year 1s there and not knowing them just means time just passes like that.. maybe way too quickly. Sometimes time passes too quickly and u forgot to savor the moment of things and cherish them or do the extra bit of stuff. Maybe you were too caught up with things or maybe you were just waiting for the next stage of life to come along.

Met a few others later and headed down to CQ. Boombox was making everyone deaf and conversations were impossible till we all whipped out our phones and started chatting via typed messages. Lol was quite a sight but managed to know a few more friends.

Anyway was chatting with some friends of mine.. and then realized I was pretty obnoxious with regards to many things I did. Had a talk with my mum too and I hate to say this but I really got all the bad habits and weaknesses from my dad. The waiting and punctuality thing is one of the many many..

But frankly, my dad is lucky he's got my mum. She might not be the happiest but she stuck around and advised him, changed him, still making him improve, and do whatever it takes to make him see the need to and I believe she feels accomplished in how hard she tried to make things work.

Ah well.. So much for family upbringing and acceptance. Yet now I think of it, even though we differ much, all I wanted to keep on doing(perhaps without much strategy) is to make our differences smaller and make things work.. Yet i felt perhaps on the other hand, it was more of trying to accept everything in and then giving up when things seem to be unchangeable.

It's just how I feel. But we honestly have got big communication issues. Just look at how both families' communication models are like. Ah well.

Chillax! Have a good weekend folks! TGI Saturday!

Went for HDB interview this morning. Was surprisingly early because i didn't know the journey to Toa Payoh would be so quick.

The written test comprised of 2-choose-1 scenario questions whereby we had to draft out a reply letter to the involved occupants. I think i did my best to make it as formal and as professional as possible.

Then because it was raining and i didn't have appetite to eat breakfast plus the room's aircon was super cold, i was shivering when i walked into the interview room.

It was a panel of 4 but only 2 of them spoke. I am quite sad because i think i messed it up. Appeared too nervous cos i was shivering and don't think i gave great answers. =(

Super sad.

Pathlight school just called me for an interview next week. But i think i would just go with the MOE research assistant for the time being.

Spent the last couple of hours thinking of what she had done in the relationship. To be honest, truly remarkable. The minor but many sacrifices she made just for the relationship is something i need to learn. I slacked off and the arms and legs that were supposed to be ever steady and strong grew weak. No one could have made me any happier. =)

为那么长期容忍, 直到想放弃

但当您真实地珍惜, 必须知道怎样放弃

如果您有任何弱点，尝试去改变他们

款待大家为个体 并否有如您占有

我彻彻底底地被这首歌给打败了。

There were plenty of days like today for the past 2 weeks, but I think today is truly the day of decisions. Whatever I’m writing here from today onwards means no offence to anyone, or contains any sort of hidden meaning and should be seen plainly as a method for me to recover. I sincerely apologise for any confusion, hurt or anger caused by my words. And I swear that these are the absolute truth to how I am feeling as I wrote them. No sarcasm. I just need to do this to help myself. Yet I guess I would probably look at all these in the future and wonder why I bothered to think so much.

Tonight, I realized how frustrating and tiring it was to maintain a smile or try to prevent spoiling a happy gathering with my mood. In the end, I just had to find some friends who I thought knew as closely to how I felt as possible. However, to be honest, no one absolutely knew how I felt because no one was in the position I was in before.

So I met some friends and I told them my realization of the reason behind my change in behavior. And I can’t believe it went back to Day 2 again with me bringing up the topic of shock, disbelief and unfairness. Ok, once again they drilled me to the harsh and cruel realities of the world; that people change as and when they like, and that they need not answer to anyone. That is the world for you, straight in the face. Well, I take it, and deep down I fear for the repercussions it might have. I also understood why ‘players’ are created because they just can’t bear to be hurt ever again. Why not do the hurting instead?

A friend called me and said that there was no chance we could meet. Honestly, it was disappointing to hear that, and also to her belief that I would have any sort of outburst if we did. You would probably be surprised by how I’ve became. But like what I told them, no one would believe if I say I’ve changed ALREADY. No one would believe me if I said I would do anything for things to go back to normal again. So I left it as that, because there was really no point in emphasizing something that no single soul believes in other than me.

It was disappointing to hear the many things over the phonecall, and once again I was in disbelief again. How can it be that I wasn’t aware at all? Or did she try hard enough to make sure the message got across to me? And it wasn’t only me, no one else around us was aware too. And if anyone was, why didn’t anyone say anything?

Well, I then started questioning what in the relationship was real, what was not? How could she send those messages the week before if she wasn’t happy all this while? Perhaps just like in the music video, she didn’t say no, or didn’t cry, or didn’t get angry, because she loved me. Honestly, I would very much she scream or shout or scold me when she felt angry or unjustified or when I couldn’t understand.
I thought she knew me well enough that I am a person to take it plainly. Don’t mask or sugarcoat anything because I will just take it as that. Perhaps what I was feeling unjustified about was that there was no ultimatum. There was no point of redemption.

But once again, my friends emphasized and regurgitated the point of the cruelties of the world. Ok if it is so, I really feel sad for the world, the people and all its happenings. One of them brought up the point of going into a relationship with the idea that there’s a risk of breaking up, of hurting each other. So I asked why then go into a relationship in the first place? Because clearly for me, it is with a happy ending in the mind right from the start.

If she is not ready to meet and talk about it, then I got to deal with things on my own part. My only intention of meeting to talk was so that she can give me the closure I needed, but right now, I strongly believe that it will end up with none like all my previous relationships.

I took down the 2 keychains which belonged to us. And I kept the glass souvenir of us from Hong Kong, and that photo of us on my graduation. I think I need to do that. By the way, the family portrait and the photos are ready for collection, so I supposed I got to discuss it with my parents and see what the eventual decision is.

Speaking of which, I still couldn’t understand why she did all that. Ok maybe she got ‘forced’ into taking the photos by me, as it was almost impossible to reject my suggestion at that point of time. But what I couldn’t really understand is why when we went to look at the sample photos, she could decide to buy one for her own room. Yet, I can only speculate now. Anyway, regarding the photo she bought, I would probably drop it at her place someday since she paid for it.

So back to the room, we discussed what will happen from now on. Then I realized how all-or-nothing I am like; very much like her as she told me. There are 2 paths I could take right now, and one is just to go about my business and wait for things to happen. The other path requires me to be cruel, to numb my heart, to think of her badly, but certainly will help me move on.

Thing is, it’s a pity to no longer see us as friends. It’s like all this while back to cj when we were special friends is going to dissipate just like that, just because I couldn’t offer her what she needs as a boyfriend.

I asked them if they still see any longing or hope in me, which I would like to hear as none. But one of them said there should be at least 15% still there. So I said next time the more times we meet, the lesser this hope will get.

Currently, I am in a little bit of an identity crisis because suddenly I don’t know what beliefs and values to stand for. My beliefs and values got knocked down. My optimism in things took a hit but I told them, I think I would still be optimistic about things, but when it comes to relationship, I would be extremely cautious. Then they said that when another girl comes along and I see hope, I will just jump right into it. Haha. Trust me, I will probably not put the least bit of attachment into it.

To her: I really don’t mean to make you hate me because I still want to see us as friends next time, but if it does, there’s really nothing I can do for now. I need to protect myself. You go read your secretletters to me and tell me what’s real and what’s not because I can’t tell anymore honestly. 4 years ago on 30th march, you said you will do anything for me. Does it still stand?

I know you believe there are some characteristics about me that we would all like to think of as innate, and fundamentally they can’t be changed. Yet I can tell you these now, just to name but a few, that I will not mind waiting an hour for you each time just to see you when you need me, that when I saw your property events photo, the first thing I felt was proud and that was the first time ever in 2 years, that I can be contented just silently standing by watching and supporting you in your career, that I will work hard to achieve what I set out to do for myself and my future family, that you will feel nothing but being loved and pampered, that I will put in all the effort to know you all over again; your work, your friends, and who you really are. That was the extent that I would go, simply because I know I would be extremely happy even though you would say I won’t be.

To you, the due date’s past and your decision’s final. Damn cruel very harsh. But do not ever feel bad, because for me, I only see goodness in you wanting me to learn, and it is only through this process would I be able to truly comprehend and take it all in.

What I especially feel sad for, is that there is not even a chance at redemption. No leap of faith from you to help us complete the fairy-tale ending you always love in your drama series. I like to see a future, but definitely it’s uncertain.

記憶 ... ~

Wrote plenty of stupid things because of emotions, and i had to regret and delete them away. Happened not once, not twice but over and over again. But those things must stop once and for all.

After all these days, it dawned on me that i had indeed changed first. I was lesser like the brave boy i was when i was 19. Now i know why people say when you are young, when you are a kid, you dare to dream, you dare to do things ... you dare to take plenty of leaps of faith. At that age, you were just possessed by this strength and belief that things will work out.

Things start to change when i grew older. Or rather, i started to change. I started to be fearful. I started to lose confidence in the things i do. I started to increase my 'what ifs' and decrease my 'yes i can do it'. All because I was open to the possibilities of failure. As i grew older over the past few years, the daunting thought of the future brought me closer to reality.

Perhaps back then, i didn't know what was the better option to take. I tried fighting reality and hence subconsciously conjured up baseless thoughts just to console and assure myself that things will turn out right. In actual fact, i was just really afraid to lose it all.

I was a supportive figure back then. I liked to think of myself as a pillar of hope and joy. To a lot of people around me. Over the years, i faded ... simply because i became afraid and fearful.

Hmmm now then the question is why? I guess initially was the uncertainties of the future, and my growing awareness of how much i was lacking or behind others. And then i tried holding on to the things i cherish, much too tightly. The tighter i held them, the more i pushed them away. I tried to compensate by putting false imaginations of my desired outcomes, much to the point of mild delusional. =/

All because i was afraid. And i thought fear and insecurity could be hidden. No i was wrong, because their subsequent effects just ebbed out towards the people around me, unknowingly to me. Yet it was very clear for me to see it now.

So much consolation for a psychology major to realise all this.

I think coming in touch with reality once again has infused certain beliefs in me. Yes we can all feel fear, and more often than not, we will feel it as we grow up. You just got to deal with it by constantly improving yourself and making sure you are well-adept and sufficiently-prepared in your pursuit of your goals.

It wouldn't make sense for you to dream of things with the courage and hope of a naive young boy, or dream of things with the delusional mindset of a fearful young man.

Be the hope and support once again, and strive with a strong and determined basis like who you ought to be.

=)

Today's been real tough.

但我是只打不死的蟑螂.

Absolutely love it at 3:15.

捉不到这首歌最真实的意思 =/ 但非常好听.

So i asked my friends, what do they hate about me. One of them said my stubborn need to get detailed closures. Haha oh well ...

Ok so i can retain the things people love about me. Whew~ My optimism, my easy-going nature and my penchant for happiness. Yay!! Of course top it up with lots of other things which i now know. =)

More jokes to come folks but i can assure you they would be fully upgraded. Hahaha ..

For the rest of it, words are just words and talk is cheap. Only time and action can truly tell and show.

Smile dude, because you know you are blessed. =)

Very cute MTV. 但是 ... 这不是误会.

A night in the car turned into this ...

My life has always been very blessed. Truly ... cos honestly, when are the blips in it? I can only think of 3 distinct ones currently. 3 in a total of 25 years? You must be thinking i am joking, but it's pretty much true.

In a way, i am always very fulfilled. And especially so when i was ending my tertiary year 3 because my academic goals were going to be achieved, and it's only a matter of time. Things always turn out right, at least for 90% of the things i was doing. And i think i ought to be ashamed of it.

I always thought i need to do one of those volunteering activities, so that perhaps i could be more in touch with the unpleasant side of life, or just to be more real with regards to the world outside.

True, I've went to army and then i did coaching, and along the way i've met people who are less fortunate. But then i realized, until the day when i begin to feel 'in need' or 'lacking', can i truly feel the full magnitude of the effects.

I've always been ... happy? Or rather i've almost mostly chose to feel positive emotions such as happiness, joy and peace instead of negative ones like sadness, anger and frustration. This becomes a habit such that when I have no choice but to feel negative emotions, due to their rarity, I simply do not know the best way to cope with them.

It has been like that since i was 19, when i was feeling the lousiest, when i was at my lowest, due to certain circumstances, immediate positive feelings were piled very quickly on top of these sadness and anger, layers after layers, and that this led to 2 outcomes. Firstly, it became my natural defense mechanism to resolve negative feelings by piling lots of positive feelings on top. It is just like what one of my friends said: I have continuously choose to upgrade my happiness-feeling component that my negative-feeling component is extremely under-leveled and raw. Secondly, which is exclusive to the particular situation, is that i don't remember much of the experiences associated with the negative emotions plainly because i focused much much more attention on the memory associated with the positive experiences.

Anyway, back to the point about fulfillment. I cannot ever deny my parents love me. They have given me the opportunities to experience different things in life. You know it's like how people say they want to travel and see the world. Well, these kind of positive experiences i was never devoid of. Yet there is always compensation.

I've been sleeping in a comfortable queen-sized bed for since i was 17. I have a huge-ass tv in my room with my own entertainment systems. I don't need to think much for a sec when i order a certain meal in a restaurant. I don't need to think about transport issues when i want to go out and stay out late. I am well in touch with the latest technology because i have them. And so much more. There's always food on the table. There's always a house to go back to. There's always clothes to wear. There's always stability. And things will pan out eventually.

I think the point here is clear. I need to go live under a void deck, sell the computer, stop driving the car, and never ever bring out the credit card.

My question to myself is: How can you ever have the drive when you feel fulfilled every single day?

Of course don't quote me and say that there is self-fulfillment, spiritual fulfillment, family fulfillment, etc. You know what i am talking about.

And this leads me to my personality, my characteristics. Shaped by my upbringing, family, culture and environment.

I am who i am, and it wouldn't make sense to instantly snap out of this identity. Yet, I am very convinced that my take on certain things in life could be re-shaped and re-directed in a better way.

Then there is this realization on my source of motivation. 2 nights ago, i was so convinced it's mostly external. It was never internal. Until last night when a dear friend of mine strongly said mine is definitely internal. Because to have a certain drive, you would need a source of motivation. Ok right now i am still convinced it's mostly external. I excel in things solely for the recognition of relevant people, and only through this recognition do i feel good about myself. (But honestly i don't know, because when i think back to the moments when i finished my 32km route march, or when i was standing on the stage after arts camp, i felt so damn good about myself). If i set a goal or dream, i am realistic enough to know it will happen. Yet at the back of my mind, i would tell myself it's fine if it doesn't happen.

Why do i see no need to prove things to myself? Instead, i always see an extreme need to prove things to others.

Because all along, visually if you can imagine, i have been 'fed' outwards in, always from people around me. In a manner, this leads to my need to return this 'thing' outwards to the people around me. It's hard to imagine, but i have definitely learnt so much more about myself.

I think i have digressed.

I just like to end off with this.

Do i subscribe to the thought of "What happened, happened for a reason?", or "Whatever the universe plans out, it will happen?". Well ... I think i do. I think we can't change fate. Pardon me for all the flashforward ideas, but i think that if it's meant to happen, if you try changing it, the universe has a strange way of correcting its course.

Relations.

I finished watching Lost awhile back, and boy it was good. There were really no definite answers and a lot depended on the viewers' own interpretation. I am onto Flashforward's last episode in Season 1 now. It is beginning to dawn on me that a lot of similarities exist. The overriding themes and styles are simply uncanny.

Alternate realities. Different choices different outcomes. The what-could-have-beens. Dealing with the future and fate. The Universe correcting its own course.

Getting all these thoughts and ideas into my current life right now, it's one epiphany after another.

Flashforward anyone? Maybe 1 year into the future?

Jay Chou's lyrics usually just brush past me easily, as though they don't mean much.

But today when I turn on my iTunes and listen to 說了再見, every line meant so much.

天涼了　雨下了　妳走了

清楚了　我愛的　遺失了

落葉飄在湖面上睡著了

想要放　放不掉　淚在飄

妳看看　妳看　看不到

我假裝過去不重要　卻發現自己辦不到

說了再見　才發現再也見不到

我不能就這樣失去妳的微笑

口紅待在桌角　而妳我找不到

若角色對調妳說好不好

說了再見　才發現再也見不到

能不能就這樣忍著痛淚不掉

說好陪我到老　永恆往那裡找

再次擁抱一分一秒都好

Suddenly, i am filled with this burning desire, this fire. I will fight for you. Be the best in who i am.

Time to get a job!!!

Today's newspapers report anticipated overload on the wireless networks due to a sudden surge in the number of smartphone users. I think i kind of experienced that yesterday, perhaps Singtel called many many people other than me and everyone else was just playing with it.

Anyway yesterday afternoon, i went down to singtel to collect my iphone 4. So at the counter beside me was an auntie who was conversing in mandarin to the sales exec. She was saying she wants to just make calls and send sms. Then i glanced over ... only to see her holding onto an iphone 4.

Zzzz.

So, i am coming nearer and nearer to the end of my unemployed days. Been a little more active in looking for suitable jobs these 2 days and i've gotten a couple of calls so far.

Went down to AMK hub Singtel Hello shop to collect my iPhone 4 just now. WHEEEE finally got my hands on it. You know when i first gotten my iPhone 3G, i knew there would be no other phone i would be using ... i guess 4G just makes it all the more sweeter.

Right now, all i need is the perfect job.