I've got a lot of angst.

There has been too many run-ins with the place recently.

And i've learnt more about staff retention just from my experience. Value your capable subordinates and never make them feel surplus or useless. Once they have that kind of thought, a change of mind and preference is always near.

Unfairness should never be tolerated.

Wah piang. Looking at the unsubbed one left me in shock. The subtitled one is hilarious to the max.



And another one ... with Shark's Fin ... like seriously.

I am not going to be particularly proud to write this down, but i wish to remember this semester for how 'distracted' i was.

Starting out this semester with a new desktop and a not-yet-employed Kelvin means that there were many hours of dota. And having a Windows OS means the reappearance of computer games into my life. Spent plenty of hours on COD4 and discovering HON was one of the highlights. I still remember saying i would use my laptop quite often for sch work and other stuff, and the desktop only for games. Well ... it ended up with me spending 95% of the time on the desktop, which eventually became my tool for school work, research, entertainment and leisure. And i guess i don't have to mention the ps3 which brought me through hours of gameplay for Batman Arkham which i think sucks, Winning Eleven and now Fifa 10.

These few months were peppered with poker sessions with the guys, with me taking an increased interest in the detailed aspects of the game. Was often analyzing plays and strategies, watching WSOP, thinking about how hands could be played differently. The live games get me more excited than anything. Playing with strangers, seeing how friends develop and change their game, being accused of being too serious in the game, and winning and losing some were frequent happenings throughout these months.

Other than these, for the first time in my schooling life, I went to HK and had so much fun during sch days. I also did the PRC camp which brought many insights to me. On top of all these, I was busily involved in a new business with friends, having meetings and being the logistic man.

Of course there were other aspects such as the 'lost belief' that hardwork doesn't equate results in school anymore, and that being year 4 means you are older and 'wiser', so you know what you can get away with. Also, being in the final year means a less kancheong attitude towards projects because you believe that you have almost seen it all. Another factor is that school is coming to an end, which translates to the end of a schooling life and the start of a neverending working life.

Ah well. All these are great fun and experience, and I am more than glad to have these memories. I just wish the exams don't prove me wrong.

I can't wait for exams to be over. Been studying at PGP's study room. Pretty amazing how time flies there. If truly the total time spent there equates my studying hours there, then i think it's all good.

Gonna shower and head there for another day of mugging. And it's Saturday! Zzz ...

An update on Fifa10 ... i think i have switched sides to Fifa. Truly amazing and very realistic. Goodbye Winning Eleven.

This thing about being able to see into the future is very peculiar. It's like the man up there giving us opportunities to glimpse into moments of what might happen.

I just had a deja vu.

And it just happened recently too, but now i don't remember what was that one about because i thought it's just one of those times whereby it happens and you go 'deja vu' and then a long time passes before another one happens.

These two really happened too close to one another.

When i first dreamt/'saw' it ... it was one of those scenes which you would disregard because the likelihood of it happening is low.

But it just played out in front of me.

The Human Mind is really a very peculiar thing.

Today was supposed to be like the previous 2 days, mugging hard. But i was distracted, and then i was tilted. So i decided to take a day off. Can't believe i am installing Gunbound now.

Imagine being elected president by your supporters and you are to move into office next week. You started to plan for your speeches and think about the great ideas that you want to implement. You started mentally preparing yourself up, telling yourself you can do a darn great job because you didn't see yourself too special when you were younger. You start to imagine how great your term in office is going to be.

2 days before you move in, your opposing party comes and tells you, sorry but there was some discussion and somebody else is elected.

Really bad illustration here but you get my point.

Next!

When they said politics, i didn't get it. But when i start to get too involved, i suddenly realised what politics they were talking about.

I know how friends work. That was why i always choose my friends and put them in first. They are the people who i want in. So i guess i won't dwindle too much on self-pity regarding that point.

Honestly, too many of these stuff do encourage people to move on to greener pastures.

The academics of these days are damn smart. Unscrupulous.

One asked us to edit his draft of his textbook as part of our tutorial grades ... eventual end-product i figure would be him having a textbook to call his own and some royalty fees.

The other asked us to help generate research ideas via our own research projects, hence providing her with references and insights, and perhaps more research papers with her name on it.

The guy from another class was clearly making everyone rolled their eyes. He had went on with his questions a few times already.

Then as the tutor went through the exam format .. stating 'there are going to be 4 short questions'

He asked immediately, "Erm is it definitely only FOUR short questions or are there like 1a, 1b .. 2a, 2b ..."

Bryant and me exchanged glances.

Ok breathe in ... ... ... breathe out ... ...

To have pocket 2s and pocket 3s and win against jacks and queens is sick.

Cada's reaching the final 2 was all luck. But good play heads up though.

QING! I am actually quite excited about you coming back! Haven't seen you in awhile!

So angsty. Another post but this is overdue. It was meant for yesterday.

I am truly disappointed by how our friendship turned out. I knew you tried, and who am i to say you didn't when i am always guilty of not making enough effort to keep in contact with my friends.

And honestly, i don't know why the hell did i actually bother with your business yesterday. I could have just offered some words of advice to your poor distraught bf and that's it. So much for hoping i am still the kor you listen and trust.

There were several times over the past year when i told myself this is it. I will disappear from your life since you don't quite bother about whether our friendship exists or not. Seriously, if you had put even a bit of effort to keeping in contact, i would have felt it. But nope, there wasn't any. As a friend, you pretty much were disappointing.

So last night i was feeling helpful and nice, and thought since i would be going out, i could actually drop by and listen to your side of the story, maybe help straighten things out a little or something. So i smsed you.

Your replies guessed my intent and i admitted to it. Then you chose to run away. Utterly disappointing. I thought you were taking some time to reply so i left it at that. Hours later i attempted to call but there wasn't any response. Up till now, my simple sms didn't get any sort of response. To me, it's a situation i find common in my teenager years. Sorry but it's really juvenile.

It's also really selfish because you chose to ignore me without even considering our friendship and trust that we held. And to think i could have simply not bother at all. My intentions were always good and i just felt that perhaps there were some misunderstandings.

Now, i don't really doubt what he told me. And what you have done is really unfair, really disrespectful, and really low as a gf.

Sorry for not saying anything after that. I was contemplating but i got reminded of the many times when i regretted saying something after i said it.

I'm not good at consoling. I'm not the type whom you can get much console out of.

My good friend once said this a long time ago, that i'm a person who will say things straight and honest to you. It's not going to sound nice. Neither do i guarantee it won't hurt. But it will be the truth. I'm not the kind of person who sugarcoats my words just because they will sound nicer.

Perhaps it's my upbringing. I don't remember getting much consoling when shit happens. Most of the time it's nevermind, try harder next time. To me, the 'try harder next time' struck harder than the 'nevermind'. It's always ... less of the dealing with the emotions, more of the providence of solutions. Hence, i was primed in the way to provide solutions when shit happens, and to deal with them without expecting any consolation from anyone. You can call me heartless, if you choose to see it that way.

I believe more in providing a solution and ways to achieve it, in this case the reattaining of happiness or the decrease of the feelings of sadness, rather than the all too often "don't worry, things will be fine". I do hope for understanding.

But more often than not, i get reminded by the people around me that there's always an emotional aspect of humans which we all have to deal with. It's not all about logic and outcomes, and to think i'm studying psychology. Shucks.

Trust me it's not easy. I would have said anything, but it will definitely jeopardize what i have now. To me, a relationship is a relationship. If it works, stick real hard to it. If it really doesn't, say too bad and move on.

Today went to wf's friend's house to play poker. Focused more on Ivey's optimum return style of play, and it was a good afternoon.

To KZhang since i'm honoured by his presence here: I still can't believe i folded my cards! Haha don't give me another chance to bust you! =p

Went down for DC meeting after that, and many changes are taking place. Ah well ... i've just a bit time to offer what i've got. Got to make the most of it.

Then headed down to Marina Barrage for Ter's bday celebration. Pretty nice windy place. Quite surprised to see so many people there. I thought it would be too ulufied.

Supper at Geylang. Shiok Dimsum.

Damn shagged. Zzzz

Haven been busily distracted by the upcoming PS3 games. Youtube can really burn your time!

A few titles will definitely be part of my collection once they are out. Good reviews plus "my-type-of-game" certainly means parting some of my time with them.

First up, Final Fantasy XIII.
This is a no-brainer for FF fans.


But i wish they would keep to FFXII way of combat ... that one whereby they had a line linking up the character with the enemies. Else the battle screens will be damn repetitive.

Next, Heavy rain.


This game is sick. Suspense. Thriller. It isn't really a game game but more of a movie game kind of play style, but its so real. When your character dies, he/she's dead! Then you assume control of another character.

Third, Assassin's Creed 2! Coming out this month i believe.


AC 1 was a let down for some. Reviews said this one corrected the mistakes so i am predicting it would be pretty good.

So far i'm keeping tabs on these. Bought Fifa 10 recently due to the good reviews. Trust me, it's hard getting used to playing it after so many years of winning eleven. But for those WE fans out there, i'm sure there were times when you felt that it didn't feel realistic being able to outdribble so many defenders. Fifa 10 in my opinion has that realistic feel. Although i'm still bemoaning how hard it is to dribble past players now. It's more about positioning, running into spaces and taking your chances now. And i haven't scored from a corner yet. That's the downside cos heading seems really weak.

I haven't been able to sustain the motivation i gathered from my awakening last week. So this week's revision is a little behind.

Went to watch This is it. And i almost exploded before the show. Thanks to the gf for understanding me so well. =)

And the recent topic of maturity in the aspect of marriage got me worried. I am like the most UN-matured (i shall refrain from using childish) guy around. You see, i was glancing at someone's convo (cos i was bored) and her topic revolved around her bf. But she mentioned "he's NOT MATURED so i am still considering", and well ... i haven't exactly knew what females look for in marriage partners.

Especially so after my afternoon rant to the gf about us being divorced cos we haven't seen each other for too long.

But anyway, Happy anni babe. =)

Just caught FF ep 6 and well ... there are the wow parts and definitely potential for development. Being an avid fan of Lost has brought me great expectations for FF, especially when there are so many reviews like these ...

"From the beginning, the show’s producers have been vocal about avoiding comparisons between their show and Lost, and who can blame them? Lost is a cultural phenomenon—why set yourself up to lose the expectations game? But ABC has been promoting FlashForward as a worthy successor to Lost, and just in time as the tropical mind-bender prepares for its final season next year. And if the goal was to tamp down Lost comparisons, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to cast not one, but two cast members of that show (Sonya Walger and Dominic Monaghan).

But so far, Lost it ain’t. The pilot wasn’t bad, but it also wasn’t great—certainly not of the quality of Lost, which remains one of the best pilots in television history. The premise is the star of the FlashForward more so than anyone in the ensemble, and three episodes in I haven’t become attached to any of the characters yet. I’m mildly interested in Demetri Noh (John Cho) who doesn’t have a vision during his blackout, and fears that he is destined to die before then. Aside from him, I don’t care enough about any of these people to be emotionally invested in what happens to them six months hence. And so far, all the show’s questions of fate and choice have felt more like watching an undergraduate philosophy-class discussion than a compelling genre show.

Unless it shapes up over the course of its run (as shows often do as they find their footing), FlashForward will not be remember as the successor to Lost, but rather as the successor to Heroes, a show that has made a fine art of audience attrition. It seems like a lifetime, but it was only three years ago when Heroes was the hot science-fiction thriller du jour. It even managed to garner nods for best drama series at the Emmys and the Golden Globes. Flash-forward to the present, where its ratings are continuing to free-fall in its fourth (and quite possibly final) season, and the people still watching seem to be doing so more out of defiance than anything else. It’s this fall from grace that the producers of FlashForward need to be paying attention to. As Lost and Heroes demonstrate, the setup is easy. It’s the execution that trips you up."


And yes ... my friends who are still watching Heroes know i've stopped watching it since Season 3 after when i thought they lost it. It's not only me but ratings have confirmed it. And yeah till date i haven't been emotionally attached to any FF character. (Haha still remember my entry on the demise of Charlie in Lost?) I guess i've often taken Lost for granted ... expecting that all shows should be like that good.

To all the people who have said that Lost has 'lost' them, and still asking why are they still lost, seriously you haven't watched the show properly. I cringe each time i see on the net how someone writes how boring Lost is. Then what is exciting? Baywatch?

I quite like what this person wrote ...

"Flashforward is a TOTAL copy of LOST. Pilot episode of LOST starts with Jack waking up after the plane crash. Flashforward has Mark waking up after the car crash. LOST has Jack (a doctor) running around helping people, FF has (a FBI agent) running around helping people after their respective crashes. Lost has a random polar bear. FF had a kangaroo hopping down the street. LOST has flashes of people past. FF has flashes of people future. LOST has Kate not wanting to talk about her past (murder of stepfather), FF has Olivia not wanting to talk about her flash (sleeping with another guy). Not to mention the Oceanic popsters in the background(as someone already pointed out).

I LOVED LOST when it first started and I still watch it, but not with as much excitement. I watch FF(DVR it) but it's not a MUST WATCH show and I don't see how they're gonna have more than 1 season of it. Is everyone gonna black out again next season and another investigation into why they did?"

Honestly maybe subconsciously i noticed those stuff ... but i wasn't thinking so much about the similarities. What he said is pretty true, i don't know how FF is gonna pan out for a few seasons while still getting viewers hook onto it.

I'm pretty sure they are gonna loop in suspect zero, D. Gibbons, the blue handprints people ... Maybe if it still ain't solved in the pilot season, then perhaps in accordance to the novel, quantum physics is gonna be brought in for the next season.

But i really do hope its gonna be something really BIG. Something BOOMZ. Else it will soon fizzle out.