i haf made up my mind...muz try my best liao....

bery very sianz now....dunno whether shld continue anot...lumei ar....haiz...u very mah fan u know....weefong like u leh....shld i haf a fair compeition wif him....sounds totally lame...cos everything i do is for fun loh.....in the end when i dun think its fun den i will gif up....but den i believe u guys haf tis feeling b4...the feeling of being really tired and pissed and scared and defeated.....but i oso heck liao....whu cares...now i know frens frm the start will only yue pang yue mang....its true...cos i haf yue pang yue mang oso....now its happening...its not the thing bout being zhar bor peng you....being fren is even harder now...but i rather tat dont ever happen....if i wan...i wan everything....why bother go strive and get nuthing in the end....but really i really think she is not my type....too guai....someone whu is slightly below eunice is fine....but mebbe tis time....at tis time of my life.....shld find someone whu is guai....tats total crapz oso....i think someone whu is reading tis rite now is thinking of asking her to come read this...wadeva...i know u guys....but now when i say tis...i believe none of u will do tat....(actually really hope someone do tat) it will be really fun to see wad happens.....haiz....ermz....actaully its really fun being the bad guy...u know....mid yr....here i come!!! the three of them revolve round and round...sumtimes toppling each other....rite now she is the lowest...and she is the highest....u know me....i very sui bian one....but den i oso will live to regret....tats a bit the cock oso....whu cares bout being quiet....ask u sth...if someone nv ask u a ques....how the fuck do u ans her....pressuring u know....shitz...i am sweating now...weather damn hot....weefong thinks i am joking again.....mebbe i joke too much....but wei shen mo??? why!!???its quite fun actually...u can say my life circles mainly on fun....but juz think...without it....whu cares bout luv???mebbe too long didnt type liao....so type so long....but i will ALWAYS cherish wad i haf....i think i will lah....if i am not doing tat....pls...someone pls tell me....rite now....arm and eyes pain.....someone console me pls....console the dumb guy...the tok cock one....the whole day paisei one.....the bhb one.....tat one tat really treasure her.....

haha....luv tiz words now....garters....your old fella(or old boy)....polyurethane pumpbag and some word tat begins wif the letter T.....shitz...forgot wad word was tat....

pple's has their own style of wadeva shit....so go be urself lah....there's no need to look like a clone.....

geeZ....juz cancel my tuition....damn seh today...play bout 2 and a half hrs of soccer....gotta study chinese later tonite...cant stay long...cyaZ guyZ....

some guys juz exaggerate things a bit too much....pple so nice u all still say until like dat......u are juz so dumb huh.....

really luv the feeling on 28th when the exams over...can relax A BIT.....hope it will be really really fun after dat....anything wan be qia on the two days juz tell me hor....

today's sunday....yest eunice say she is getting high.....i dunno wad exactly does dat mean....but like wad i say....wad can i do....den today study a bit....tuition....den at nite going to some dinner.....fuck...going to miss the gao siao millionaire show....

mebbe its juz the time to study really hard...

liverpool match half time...so come online....sun think going back to watch liao....they play so suckily....den today very boring...sleep and study.....nuthing much....hand oso tired to type....take care guys....

waiting....and waiting....still waiting....mebbe hoping......

testing faith.....creating suspense......making life more interesting......mebbe true......actually saving meself in the end.....

juz reach home...tired manz....watch a corny show....tok cock juz now as usual....play pool.....tw actually quite pro sia....flair huh....

wish manfred a happy bday....tml i think will be a nice day...it will be nicer if......

some crap are meant to be written...and some are not...think bout wad kinda crap u are writing....actuallu hor....dun need to like report everything loh....u tell me and wad the god damn fuck can i do a shit bout it.....

if there is no childish outbursts or maturity outbursts....others will thot u haven reach puberty yet...or u are juz a god damn boring person.....

me amusing???....u only juz dun understand lah....somethings needa be assume...some need not...some things need to be told and some do not....

now....nuthing's big.....u think u got access big lah....got gf big lah....got hold gal's hand b4 big lah....got tok one the phone wif gal for god damn long big lah....know some gal big lah.....cmon lah...its juz bcos we are in a boys sch....go anderson lah...go dunman lah...tell pple all this things they laugh until pengz....big arh??
u think everyone like u say everything out meh....some things dun need xuan yang one...in the end will only let others laugh at u...they will be thinking: 'u done all this like very big likdat...i've done even more BIGGER things than all those lah'....so think harder....

i was always playing ard wif others.....they wanna play so i play loh....take yest for example...christine msg me....actually is wan to test me....say she like me(to zhiqin: she's all urs)...wad will be my reaction...too bad fredie there...we 2 began our 'siao'(u know wad) plan....i say wad fred told her exactly last time when she ask him oso....wan to play rite...i very sporting one wad...but den i gotta admit tat she is one smart lass.....haha....but den after tat she say its impossible bcos i dun like her..and she like some1 else....u know all the crap....can see frm tv lah.....den i was like persuading(actually enjoying myself)her tat there is a chance....den i act angry.....den she keep on saying sorrie.....(paisei hor christine)...hmmz......a bit the cheem oso....but den the relationship(frenship lah....duh) of course improve lah...wif these kinda things ard...it will always improve....some pple tot they damn good....but some things are not wad they are seem...some are lah...mebbe shldnt underestimate others oso....but den at least look at urselves first b4 making any assuption and comments and decisions.....
the whole time....i was like playing ard....u wan me get serious i tell u anytime i can get myself wad i wan....not tat i bhb or wad...(self promoting lah)
sometimes when u know this num of pple....u tend to like rank them and see which one suits u best...i got her on my mind liaoz....u know...fantasising.....all the crap....but i think she oso know wad i cant do this yr....aiyah...dunno lah....didnt even 'u know wad'.....some pple know lah....u peepZ can go assume and wadeva...but i 'dun care, dun bother'.....say wad u wan....juz needa type this out not to let u pple see...only wan to reorganise my thots....

some pple know...but act dumb....
some pple know...but dunno wad i am saying
some pple know...and they are trying to help(tis one not very sure....only time will tell)
some pple dunno...but try to know...
some pple dunno...and they 'dun care, dun bother'(i like tis...but sometimes needa others to care...it helps)

now juz gotta wait.....time.....but den i wouldnt haf much time by den...now is actually the best time....hoping wad i wish for will come true...

Thurs 16th May 15.16pm

juz came back frm sch....bathed....house full of pple.....so god damn noisy....haha...so now in my room wif air con full blast on....god damn hot oso....fuck the weather...peepZ...must drink lottas water hor....and take care.... sch was boring today...but a bit funnie oso....first thing in the morn watch video again....can sense a lot of pple falling asleep....all thanks to liverpool....i oso lah....yest watch till 3-3...den bui tahan liao...den after recess maths....sally comed in quite cheerful....den she suddenly laugh at herself and i MEAN laugh...okie lah...mebbe only smile...but den tats whahahhahaha......farnie sia....den wee playing wif the pipette filler...den sally ask whu is playing wif a PUMP??....pump huh......whahahha.....den yifai kana the victim....cos he was holding mine 'pump'....den he say 'notme wad'....den wee say 'ts me'...den everyone at ther was like 'shi wo shi wo'.....den marc damn farnie....sally ask why he as a monitor didnt ask wee to stop....den marc say 'WASNT ME...'corny sia.....den everyone was saying wasnt me here and there.....den can really sense tat sally feel a bit the defeated....cant blame her lah....got we peepZ ard is like dat one lah...RELAX.....

duno why so many pple dao....mebbe its juz tat they hate to reply or sth...mebbe its bcos they dun on their hp the whole day...or mebbe they are juz too far away frm the hp.....or mebbe they are too pissed off to read the msg....so juz erase them.....or mebbe they juz hate u....or mebbe.....i JUZ HATE IT....DUN WAN TO REPLY AT LEAST TELL ME DUN BOTHER TO SEND FIRST RITE....TELL ME U DUN WANNA KEY IN THE LETTERS.....JUZ TELL ME U ARE PISSED OFF.....JUZ TELL ME NOT TO FUCK THE GOD DAMN SHIT....

today is 15th may....means nuthing to me....except tis fri is frediedoodhee bday.....gotta go town tml wif him go get the jerseys he wan...den mebbe go make phone...upgrade or sth...hope tat more pple can go on fri....manfred..understand??...den i was juz thinking bout mine...in exactly 2 weeks.....i really will be in a mess manz....SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!!....but dunno how many pple exactly know why i am so undeciding.....juz help!!!!

i do wad i wan....i like wad i do....i luv who i wan.....i scold whu i wan....and u know me....

dint type blog for 2 days....today juz had napfa test....damn tired....still play soccer after tat....went j8....den went home...wif abel and ber and sy and cl.....now juz eaten dinner....going to bathe soon......haiz.....the show nowadays damn stupid....

today sun....yest go out like free one...so no time type blog...

yest go sch for chem remedial....go wif yf and rayner and marc to redhill pa pool...eric come soon....actually was leading 2-0...winning yf one....den i let him loh...heard tat yf...den after tat play cs...den go home....den go class....den go town buy prez for lao bu....but go make phone first...den after wif fred and go walk walk....den bu come....den left....they say he go swimming...den fredie soon left....stupid...he hung on to the post...or else me and ber would haf pull him off.....den take the sleepy bus home....sleep until damn song....come home still go online for bout 1 hr...slept at 1....

Friday liao....hooray!!

today a bit siao...go sch as usual...tot mebbe late.....but not...den all the usual stuff....tired manz....den after sch happenings happen....go pa pool...aiyo...wan to say already say liao...den play cs....den go eat....den go tok to tat guy bout my fone...den come home....den irc....like dat loh...lazy to type...

al......lb......yl......sq......lm......kl.......grd......ws.....ls.......

today's thurs...

thurs liaoz....quite fast....tml got maths d test....gotta go study it soon....but god damned tired.....juz now evening online quite long liao...not going to stay long here....met S.B. juz now....nv tot she will let me see her diary....but she did..now den know she so interesting...lolZ....haha but den hers full of songs....den frm there links to her fren and her fren stead....really siao manz....

words i really like to use....cos it describes some pple a lot....
-unsure
-negative
-confused
-REALLY DUNNO WAT TO DO
-short tempered
-asshole
-comfortable
-mad

hmmz.....trust......

think someone is really pissed off wif me.....haiz...next time not gonna do the craZieeeee thing again....

juz came back frm sch......finish maths vectors test.....some ques dunno how to do....but overall quite easy....really very pek manz....when i really know how to do....but juz forgot how to put it in the paper...
hahahha....den pou zhua kia next to me shit here shit there.....duno whether is he lost his newspaper or wad...lolZ....paisei hor weili......tonite got tuition.....den forget bring back maths D txbk....so cannot study for fri test....nvm....tml den study....its only maths D.......

whoa....juz cut my hair....look like an army guy now.....really manz.....haha....but gotta a gut feeling fredie's going to kp bout it tml....hahaha....mebbe say its too sharp or sth....

'''''''''''
* *
)
,__,

ong bu ar.....relax lah.....sumtimes juz gonna take the risk....its juz like gambling....u take the bet and u lose....den try again lah....if u win....u better know when to stop......:)....typing the below blog till halfway den heard BSB shape of my heart.....thot mebbe it describe u really well.......

realise tat i dun need to put ***** for pple's names now....cos there's nuthing to hide.......cont to be normal...dun see the need to....might as well dun type this thing if u gonna put ******

Tuesday...writing for today lah...duh

go sch....met yf and fred....reach sch juz on time....got ying yong wen test when i forgot bout it....but quite simple lah..geo go com lab.....play wif the talkany.....haha....really tok cock manz.....den physics damn tired.....kept on nodding off....but***** and ***** oso....haha....den maths pass quite fast again.....did a sum on the board.....chem got mini quiz.....compre i think is wrote by some genius......den after sch play soccer a while....scored one....(ong bu ar....if i playing i will be scoring 22....)went F.E.P. wif ***** ate the toopid drumlets....den we threw it all over the place...hahaha....whu tell her throw at me.....pity the cleaners manz.....den take 171...whew....the bus is now labelled as the ultimate sleeping bus.....next time tired....must take the bus......den go buy quickly...the passion fruit onez.....taste not bad lah....ber oso tried....den smuggled up bus...reach home juz in time to bathe and eat dinner.....so here i am typing this and finding the stupid internet thing....later gonna study for vectors retest....

Tuesday....but writing for Monday.....considered frm 12 midnite

*****(her voice very like eunice)call me....den told her got tuition ....she call me again after tuition.....tok to her for a while....den she gonna bathe.....pass the phone to her sis...den she(her sis) scold me....i scold her back.......cont scolding her cos she play ard the words wif me....uh huh....'bu zhi si huo'.....den she gonna bathe......scold on her over irc until she almost gonna cry(fake one lah)..whu tell her dun wan to admit defeat......after tat tok on phone for 4 hrs until 4 am loh......siao onez....when its like 8 hrs ago i dun even know her....4 hrs later i am toking on the phone wif her for 4 hrs.....she labelled me 'boring, horny, sick in the mind, and tot i am a china freak at first....toot manz.....and everyone out there...for god's sake...can tell me wad else to tok bout when we practically tok bout everything....frm sch to changing clothes....to geylang......to masturbation....lolZ...siao one.....wake up at 8am by lao bu....fuck manz....when i slept at 4 yest....no wonder go tau house my eyes damn pain....but nvm oso....at least done the proj....den we all at tau house 'unleash the horniness' in us....whahahhah....juz went to channel cybersex and sex.....ask for pics....den those guys there thot we all rookie or sth....send pics all can find in internet onez....hahaaha....den ate pizza....tok cock.....haf 'threesome' on tau bed.....den play cs...saw ***** oso....he frag 2 den zhao....haiz...den toopid ***** and ***** call him...and tok cock until he pek....call his hp when they simply know its wif *****.....den they all me mature....siaoz.....as if they very young likedat......den went j8 for dinner...reach home god damn seh......

fred:learn from ur blog sth....putting ***** for pple names....now i gonna put ****** for everyone names....

SeiFer: Relax lah....be happy and dun worry....

Ong Bu: wha....urs damn cheem leh!!! cannot understand....hahaha...actually understand lah...i understand everything loh...except tat i dun bother tat much....sianz liao....bother so many things until sianz liao....cos if i really go and guan and care....i will do everything to make it my business...meaning i will do everything to make everyone happy....but den really sian liao....i can oso go ard consoling every sad pple....but den if i do tat....i make sure i must make them happy....or else i dun see the need to do things liao.....

Sunday, 1200

thinking of tml being a holiday is so comforting.....anyway....tml oso going tw house do cme proj....will be fun....to fredie and yf....rememeber hor...

sometimes its juz different....the feeling although is there....u know...the hoping and waiting....but i know its not possible....really....when someone else is feeling hurt and disappointed and sad....its really hard for me to feel happy when i am suppose to....unless....hmmz....unless....its done discreetly....but den it will be only for fun.....so.....the actual thing isnt there anymore....the 'TOTAL' thing isnt tat way....it juz gotta make the whole thing seem normal....but is isnt now....u know...i mean although i thot mebbe its possible frm the start....was juz hoping and all the stuff...den i knew uh huh...no....but really feel great....but still needa get rid of the feeling...dunno wad to say lahz.....cos mebbe i think too much...the thots all came in a rush....den need lotsa time to organise them....mind-jammed when i wanna say sth....scare's the word...mebbe not...juz unsure.....i hope things wouldnt be this way...its kinda hard to do things...but after tonite...and juz now...i think its getting better....but i am not sure...may haf turn worse.....cos i am unsure of things......

i really dunno!!!!!!!!!!!!..............................................................so many things......so many hopes and wishes.........................dun bother liao.....but even if i say tat....i will...............................................

the whole thing....tok bout it wif yf....haha..tat was quite long ago....but den i believe if i dun tell....he will be blurer than an asshole now....abel's chalet....haha....hmmz...freddie and stuff.....nic sudden thing....lots of things happen in between....den nic and ber....i think i took the chance loh....to sort of 'slip away' or mebbe to 'join in'...dunno lahz....mebbe its not the case....its juz tat i DUNCH KNOW wad i am doing....rash u may say....at most i take the blame lah...for any destructive things i haf done..but i like the current situation rite now....although its bad....at least its not the worst.....den still more things in between....u shld know...its kinda a nice feeling to think of the past and its happenings.....

to eunice: i think u mention sumthing bout ur frens....uh huh....being good for short terms....but i believe they are all doing it for fun and are all wary of the things tta are going on....the consequnces and all tat stuff...but i think u take it too seriously loh....when its meant to be short term....they are meant to be flings and for fun mainly....not taken seriously....only for both sides to be happy for the period of time....i think u shld know wad i am trying to say.......

ong bu...u tok cock a lot....

whew....juz came back frm town....met fredie there....wif ch4 and marc goh.....den went watch mccool wif ber and nic...corny show manz...hahaha....and yay....man u won the championship!!!

its really hard to find another someone like u....mebbe its juz tat they dun gif me the chance loh...but den rite now the other one is giving me the god damn chance...mebbe not....but i juz sort of feel it....u know....my senses are really siao sumtimes......i think i happen to be able to tok bout anything wif her...mebbe tats bcos its set in my mind tat she will only be a fren....u know whu....'she's all urs'....really....mebbe the feeling is still there....u know...the hoping and waiting....but den i know its not possible lor....to frens i happen to be more relaxed and natural and all the stuff....but den mebbe i juz gotta get rid of the feeling....u juz gotta help me....reassure me lah.......i hope....but den i1st impression really counts....when u see me as this thing...i juz cant really change to sth else....it will look farnie....so whenever wif u...i juz gotta be whom u know me as.....

Saturday, 1408hrs

juz came back frm mac....saw a chio bu juz now....wif some of her frens....but look quite lian......den ber juz came to collect my modem.....mebbe tonite gonna watch movie wif him....hmmz.....tw....i really dunno lehz....dun wanna 'flame on' again leh....but den its different larZ....aiyah....den needa go do my arrangement soon...having class later oso....now in my sis room....lao pei fixing some mosquito thing....lots of them coming here lately....kana bitten like siao...but den i dun think i gonna put in mine room.....looks corny to me....hmmz....rite now in my wallet got $0.....dun know how to go out later....mebbe gonna rob someone or sth.....lolZ...

to tw: duno whether u ever come here....but i think u do loh...dunno leh....last time i think u go tell me or sth...but den i juz wanna tell u next time see me online..send me all ur boyzone songs......if u happen not to see this...i will tell u in sch oso lah.......sianded.....but den the feeling of 'flame on' quite song leh....haha...wadever

haha....my lao pei ask me why i everyday here practising typing.....lol

(ntsa)...............................................

duno why.....it juz got further.....no idea....nuthing....cock up.....not natural.....pls dun blame me....cos i cant change....1st impression counts....haiz

Friday, 4th May, 9.17pm

juz reach home....and juz bathed......went town juz now....watch show and walk walk and eat.....tats all loh....today experience quite a lot of things.....Sally pmsing.....and Krishnan showing us her angelic side....lol....Sally today siao one.....gif test and keep on saying the class being geniuses....den kao pei so much oso....Krishnan today siaoz onez....haha....gif us recess at like 1pm....20 mins....but cannot blame oso....all Sally's fault loh.....she is really the best teacher manz......den got back zhuo wen today....got 38 upon 50.....can lahz...but expected higher....mebbe sth like 42......rite now is A2 lah....so must depend on my listening and oral......

'Sally is a bitch today....a bitch tomolo and a bitch whenever she pms......Krishnan is the best teacher....an angel today....mebbe next week and whenever she gifs us early recess or when she turns mad....lol'

u all got wad thing wan to say den say....wan to tell me i yandao oso tell me.....wan to say i sugs oso must tell me....dun need scare lah....juz be zhi jie.....dun let me assume....cos my assuption skills kns....as long as u wanna tell me sth....juz say 'i juz wanna be zhi jie'....den i will understand........juz tell me wad u wan to say!!!

Thursday, 3rd May, 1759 hrs

hiyah......woke up early today but still went out at the later time....cos mebbe i think i see those sec 2 until sianz liao....den walk to MRT wif lao bu and Sis.....saw ber when train came....he at the other compartment....den walk wif jiechao, ber, eric and ryan to sch..although not together lah....den morning pass quite fast....pang tok cock again...den tml still got geo test....den chem prac yh 'helped' me do....i oso helped lah...i think like dat more efficient leh....hehe....dunno why....juz dun feel like mixing chemicals today....after recess got maths....my lao di dunno blur or wat....or he act cute.....make sally very pek....haha....told u liaoz...he is juz my clone......den cme do 'drawing'....cute sia.....den chinese period go receive mid yr paper...got 59 out of 90 for paper 2....and got 15.5 out of 20 for my ying yong wen....gotta get 37.5 out of 50 for my zhuo wen to get a A2.....i think can lahz....looking at the ways when i predicted i will get 19 out of 20 for my ying yong wen.....sy even say he aim to get 48 out of 50 for his zhuo wen....sui doa.....hmmz... mebbe one of these days.....after sch went straight home......bathe....study slighly.....sleep....woke up....study a lot more.....den here i am....typing my blog.....actually was hoping to receive some sms....i was juz curious lahZ.....u told me u wanted to tell me oso.....i wait loh.....den dunno whether can send a few sms today....feel like doing leh....or else i think she will become sian....but den i think i will become more sian when i receive my bill.....tonite shld be coming online to post this thing......hope ber got his com ready and i hope to meet him online tonite....cyaz guys......

"the colour of black is indeed the colour of an attention seeker"
-Me, Eugene and Yih Huat....LOL

someone is god damn proud......think he so great.....dunno why....mebbe he has changed.....
"look at urself first before u look at others"

to yih huat: ur blog on the black black thing is the farniest joke i haf ever read manz...for like quite a while.......wha lanz......gan pua funnie!!!!!i wish i was there manz......

Wednesday- 2nd May

today went back to sch......morn quite energetic....b4 recess start to seh liaoz....sianz lah i think....wif the restriction not to sms....Fear manz.....den Chem fucked up......suddenly feel very fucked up.....very sianz...no meaning manz.....den feel the care and concren is a bit the gone liaoz....duno lah....mebbe tok to him bout it...mebbe not happy wif me for going out wif u know whu....wad can i say....wad i need to say i already say liaoz.....den after sch play soccer....quite farnie....wif all the names coming up.....and YEAH MANZ....Ahmad Latiff rocks big time.....lol.....den went j8 walk walk...fredie buy present for his lao pei.....den after take train go home....met jz.....walk together till we parted lohZ....now is 5.30 pm.....gonna go take a nap.....good luck guys....cyaz...

'the things tat are meant to be said will be said sonner or later... no point asking if the things are not meant to be told out.....i wait...' -Anhong

Tuesday, 1st May

today's eric bday.....woke up at 8 plus....feel quite fresh....duno why....parents and lao mei think oso wake up liaoz....den grandma called....ask them go her house...i cant go...lao bu told her gotta go for fren's bday...den played smkdwn2 for a while....den go online....tok to some pple....den ask one rgs gal send my regards to yali....den after tat realise gonna be late...pia to bathe...put on my current fav dressing....stilll got some more lah....but den feel like being yellow tat day...after tat while crossing the overhead bridge...sense tat fredie is in the train tat juz came....called him...he really inside!!! den told them wait me....meet up at amk....went orchard....gotta wait for kel....(she really know how to be a gal manz....un huh.....u know....toilet oso....hehe)....but den quite nice lah...even though didnt tok loh....but den if i really meet tat gal in the pic manz....i will reach the 'i will do anything for u' state....tat one in pic really angel manz....but den kel is good lah...looks loh...cos i dunno her character....but den i really knoe she really knows how to use the POWERS GOD BESTOW TO ALL GALS......lol.....den went to watch 'say it isnt so'....den found out heather graham's one quite full oso....compare to her body size lahz......hmmz...got vince, kenvin, me,fred, fred's fren call methanee...CH4 lah......den got eric and kel lahZ....show quite corny....can lahz.....den after tat go pa pool....haiz...i really hate the label manz---the redhill kids.....haiz.....nvm oso....CH4 actuall is sth in pool manz...lost to her like twice rite....i think or thrice...cos i think i gao siao......den eric came after kel left....went to eat yoshi at ps for dinner wif yf and fredo.....actually quite full....firstly eat fruits and coleslaw....den feel hungry....went to buy beef bowl....we 3 den tok cock loh.....haha really farnie manz...(to yf: i think i lost the bet....but not sure yet).......as usual....den went home after tat wif fredidodee.....reach home really seh.....but den i actually went to study 4 chaps of chinese....den sleep lorZ....Good day larZ...for a labour day....gotta say a few words....THANKS.....GOD BLESS YOU.....and TRUST ME.....