Some songs are just predictions of the future... i don't know which one happened first... but david tao's shi qi shui(seventeen years old)... it seems so familiar to me...

Bu dong peng you - "... wo yuan yi gai bian, cong xin zai lai yi pian, wo wu fa zhi shi zuo bu dong peng you... dan ni shuo i only want to be your friend... wo gan ji ni dui wo zhe yang de tan bai, dan wo gei ni de ai shou bu hui lai... wo bu neng zhi shi zuo ni de peng you, bu neng zhi shi zuo bu dong peng you...

Guess what... i am helping my sister do her project... am so proud of myself... =)

Something's pulling at my lower back on the left side... i hope its only a strain... it bothered me like shit last night... i hope its got nothing to do with the spine...

Today is saturday... yesterday i dreamt of something... someone... a bit shocked... but the things said were out of the world... things that won't ever be said... if what i dreamt of is to happen, i will most probably think that it is another dream...

-shrugs- shrugs shrugs shrugs shrugs shrugs shrugs... shrugs so much... whatever lor~~

=p

I like this song very much~!! =)

One Last Cry ~ David Tao

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do

But have one last cry, one last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I've got to put you out of my mind this time, and live life
I guess I'm down to my last cry

I was here
You were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you, I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do

But have one last cry, one last cry
I had to leave it all behind
I've got to put you out of my mind this time, and live life
I know I gotta be strong, but round me life goes on, and on, and on

I'm gonna dry my eyes
Right after I have my…
One last cry, one last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I've got to put you out of my mind for the very last time, and live life,
I guess I'm down, I guess I'm down, I guess I'm down…
To my last cry

hahaha... "DEH DEH DEH DEH DEH~!!!" Imagine some prisoner escape from jail then got that siren... plus all the red lights and stuff... BEWARE BEWARE~!! I've just entered into a blogging frenzy~!!!!

argghhh sian... it didn't work...

Met someone unexpectedly at GB... respect him for revealing his identity... hate it when people hide behind nicks...

I AM BORED~!!! I AM BORED OUT OF MY HOLE~!!! Just one day at home... haiz... driving me nutty... i am like bored bored bored... argghhhh... sian X 1000000 to the power of a zillion... times the number of hair on my head... plus the number of ears i've got... and plus the number of eyes i've got... that's hell lot k...

I've drank out all the justea and ate all the smarties... i long for a good man u match... one which they don't screw up... and i long for next wednesday to come... though i dread it at the same time... just get it over and done with... i won't go mia like someone...

SIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN~~~~~~~~

And irritated also... moody... so don't bother me... because of a lot of things~!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!~!!~!~ irrriiiiitaaaaattteddddd~!!!

Best friend taught me something yesterday...

I was enlightened yesterday. Maybe not so much as enlightened... because i know this kind of things happen... but what i heard sort of releases this hidden idea... I thought what was needed was just to feel... but she taught me that saying it out indeed isn't all that bad... Then i thought about it... why guys don't usually say these things... is it because of pride or is it because it is just not something a guy would do... haha... then i tried femalizing myself... haha kidding...

It is about love. Thank you all for loving me. I love all of you too. Thank you all for always being there. Thank you all for making me who i am. I promise... that i will go through fire and water for all of you. Love transcends through everything. Through friendships and through relationships. I must say that it is not only liking that i have for my friends, but love. I love my friends. I have feelings for them. I care for them. I want all you to know how much i feel for you. If i cannot put aside my pride as a guy and tell you all of you these, then i ain't much of a friend.

I hate a lot of things. I hate getting disappointed. I hate people not helping me. I hate feeling lost. I hate feeling hurt. I hate confusing stuff. Also, what i hate most, is people feeling and experiencing stuff that i hate.

Different stages in life bring different people into my life. I've lost all contacts with my primary school friends. I have deep regrets for that. They were a bunch of people who gave me so much joy. If there is any chance, i would love to meet them all and perhaps have a cup of tea together. Ever try telling a friend how long you plan to be friends with him? Try doing that... I remember recently i told someone ten years... after that i felt a bit different... sort of like relaxed and stuff and contented... but not exactly totally... so i guess ten years isn't enough... forever will be a better word...

When i was 12, i didn't know i will lose contact with them guys... when i was 16... i know the friends i had would be there with me... but i didn't exactly know how long our friendships will last... i think it is the same for all of them... we just sort of take things one day at a time... but what if... some of us got to go to somewhere really far away... and we just lost contact... but anyway... there's the internet and all the high tech phones now... so no worries manz... but thinking back to 1st 3 months... i think of a few friends... they are people that i would like to be close friends with... but too bad... i lost my phone... i might have lost their numbers... unless they contact me...or unless i purposely go and hunt them down... i might never ever hear from them again...

I didn't know just saying some future plans can be so comforting... that there will always be this hope that these plans are going to be fulfilled... hopefully by you and your friends... this just sort of gives a lot of hope into the friendship... even though all of us could be doing different stuff... maybe even now... some in the army... some like me doing nothing much... some studying... but with a plan in the future... maybe even in the near future... like in june... like going for a holiday together... it sort of brings certainty into the friendships until that period of time... and this certainty is very comforting... who knows what will happen tomorrow... i might have to migrate... i might have other plans... but if a future plan is already made... i promise i will turn up for that...

A song for all of you... play it from your mp3 list if you have it...cmon sing along manz~!!! oh yeah...uh uh... yeah... where is the love~~~ cmon louder~!!

what's wrong with the world, mama?
people livin like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world's addicted to the drama
only attracted to the things that'll bring the drama
overseas ya we tryin to stop terrorism
but we still got terrorists here livin
in the U.S.A, the big C.I.A
the bloods & the crips, and the KKK
but if you only got love for your own ways
then you only leave space to discriminate
and to discriminate only generates hate
and when you hate, then you're bound to get irate
madness is what you demonstrate
and that's exactly how anger works and operates
man ya gotta have love, this'll set us straight
take control of your mind and meditate
let your soul gravitate, to the love ya'll

people killin
people dyin
children hurt and
women cryin
will you practice what you preach
and would you turn the other cheek
father father father, help us
need some guidance from above
these people got me got me questionin
where is the love?
(love) where is the love?
(the love) where is the love?
(the love) where is the love?
(where is the love the love my love)

it just ain't the same
old ways have changed
new days are strange, is world insane?
if love and peace is so strong
why are there pieces of love that don't belong
nations droppin bombs
chemical gasses fillin lungs of little ones
with ongoin sufferin, as the youth die young
so ask yourself, is the lovin really gone
so I can ask myself, really what is going wrong
with this world that we livin in, people keep on givin in
makin wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
not respectin eachother, deny thy brother
a war is goin on but the reason's under cover
the truth is kept secret, and swept under the rug
if you never know truth, then you never know love
where's the love ya'll? (i don't know)
where's the truth ya'll? (i don't know)
and where's the love ya'll?

people killin
people dyin
children hurt and
women cryin
will you practice what you preach
and would you turn the other cheek
father father father, help us
need some guidance from above
these people got me got me questionin
where is the love?
(love) where is the love?
(the love) where is the love?
(the love) where is the love?
where is the love?
(love) where is the love?
(the love) where is the love?
(the love) where is the love?
(where is the love the love my love)

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
as I'm getting older, ya'll people gets colder
most of us only care about money makin
selfishness got us followin the wrong direction
wrong information always shown by the media
negative images is the main criteria
infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema
..
whatever happened to the values of humanity?
whatever happened to the fairness and equality
instead of spreading love we spreadin animosity
lack of understandin leading us away from unity
that's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin under
that's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin down
It's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin under
gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
now ask yourself

where is the love?
where is the love?
where is the love?
where is the love?
father father father, help us
need some guidance from above
these people got me got me questionin
where is the love?
now sing with me ya'll (one love one love)
we only got (one love one love)
that's all we got (one love one love)
and something's wrong with it
something's wrong with it
something's wrong with the w-w-world
we only got (one love one love)
that's all we got (one love one love)

Actually what i referred to was... not just telling something on your own accord... as in tell or don't tell also can... but in the sense that you got to tell as it will be better... will you exchange your pride for that?

Haha... don't know what i am talking about also... ahhhhh~!!! i just dropped a chunk of chicken on the floor~!!! dieee... laobu going to kill me liao... haiz... today woke up at 130... and yest can't sleep until 3am... i am turning nocturnal manz... guess what... today i good boy... i staying at home... not going out... haha... oh ya... good luck to all those that are receiving O' Levels results today... may you all get lots of As...

When first knowing someone... and he is always like that to you... your impression of him sort of gets set and fix around that characteristics... and its like... when you think of these characteristics... you think of that person... but suddenly... one fine day... this person does something out of the blue, something that is so not him... i guess you will probably get a shock...

I am beaten hands down... I thought i am rather good in considering all aspects of things... haha hell no... one mountain still got one mountain higher... =p
Just like Dragonball sia... wah now damn exciting already... the two sheng hua ren just came out... and te nan ke shi appeared and he shocked the hell out of me by beating the 2 aliens so easily when wukong fought like shit...

How much pride can you forgone in comparison with trust?

Sometimes even though i trust you totally... i can't tell you some stuff because of pride...

I will say bullshit to that...

If you trust me totally... it means that you trust me not to mind a single bit of the things you will say... and that means that i am not going to look at you differently... much lest you got to swallow any bruised pride... meaning pride doesn't even come into the picture...

Some of my friends are experiencing this same problem.

What happens in a relationship when the guy doesn't like the girl anymore?

And he is confused?

And he doesn't know what to do?

And he doesn't want to break her heart?

And he doesn't want to talk at all?

And she still likes him a lot?

Tired already... didn't sleep enough last night... just read finished the 7 comic books i borrowed from sean... don't feel like sleeping yet because i've got something to tell someone... i asked laobu already... and she said she will most probably allow me to go overseas for holiday if i want to... but there isn't any intention la... i just want to hear how she feels about it...

Trista and Ryan's wedding... haha... such fantasy...

Something's bugging me...

It's making me bothered... It's like i want to get it off my chest... but who can still hold the same opinion of me if i say it?

Straight Talk

Okie... it's about... i don't how to call it... maybe i can call it the gender issue...

Notice how a big fuss is made everytime a girl and a boy are brought into the picture. If being close to a girl and being good friends with her, will result in other guy friends that know her and those that know you as well, being jealous, erm... that is what that is bothering me... Let say la... i know its a very small issue... it's like what the hell am i talking about this for... but well... don't like it then don't read la... because i realised i am constantly bothered about this thing... something which will jeopardize the friendship... which is something that i don't like at all... arghh fuck... in a way i feel guilty because i am guilty... but in a way this is me... wtf am i talking about manz... i don't know if it bothers anyone else... i think i am weird...

Lets say you know this person called A... and your friend just happen to know A today... and suddenly one day you realise your friend is so much closer to A than you... will you feel jealous?

Aiya i don't what am i talking about la... i've got a problem with expression manz... haha... basically the point is that... can you stand seeing the person you like and have feelings for... like and is closer to another friend that you know as well?

Get me? If you don't understand then i tell you what... repeat loudly after me... say HUH? =)

Actually can see chinese words... but they came out different and sometimes overlapped... but must on the programme first la... if not can't even anything at all...

Going to school soon...

Äã ¿´ µÃ µ½ ÎÒ Âð ?

yeah... can't type chinese...

I'm confused again. Haha...

Had a nice day... 24th feb... will always remember this day anyway... it's been nice for 2 years already...

Watched Lost In Translation. Maybe we were expecting too much? Maybe we were expecting something else? Like how i didn't expect to see what i saw on Something's Gotta Give? Too much thrillers and action movies make one's mind too exciting. Is Lost In Translation a good show? I think it's okie. Is it a boring show? It depends on your mood actually. 2 strangers, meeting due to fate, liking each other, having lots of fun together, and ending up (probably) liking each other. Sounds simple and boring. What actually is the movie trying to tell us? That knowing too much about someone and spending too much time together isn't very good? That only minimal knowledge of someone, probably someone you just met, with no fear of that person knowing who you really are, and there with just the mentality to waste time having fun, are the best factors to have the maximum fun and feel totally comfortable with that person? No strings attached. No responsibility. Just plain fun.

I am in a funny mood. I don't want to care about anything that goes on around me for now. I just want to meet new people now, and have one night stands.

Fine means okay. If that person is fine... i strongly believe that i shouldn't ask if he's okay.

What bullshit...

Had a great day today.

Met Charlotte and Szeyian at ssdc.

Met Jingle at suntec.

Ate at Tony Roma. Is that how you spell it? The ribs place...

I miss stone. I miss stone's sacarsm. I miss her making fun of me. Arghh.. why isn't she online?

Why am i jealous again? Arghhhhhh...

Dajie said something just now. She said she forgave that male character(XC) for plotting up with that vixen. She said that it is because XC loves SE too much, that's why he couldn't help doing those things in order not to lose her. But i told dajie, i see him as weak. If he has to resort to that kind of method to get that girl he loves, then it isn't very honourable. That's why at that point of the show, SJ was clearly to my liking. But as i told her, at the end of the story, my liking for both guys are equally balanced.

It's late. I don't usually blog this late. But something hit me right on my writing nerve, and i feel that i got to pen this down.

Was playing yahoo bridge with ariel, kenneth and sean until about 2am. Talking to stone for awhile, then eve messaged me. Went to her site and stuff and i don't know why... but it seems that guys are a confusing species. I am baffled, amazed, shocked and whatever word you can find related to these. It is something that i can't understand. I really really hope that i can be enlightened in this issue. Why do the guys neglect the girls that crave for affection and attention?

I really don't get it. Was it because of past experiences? That perhaps hurt them too much? Are they scared of giving their all? Or are they doing all that just plainly because they can't be bothered? Why are girls so attracted to these kind guys? I really want answers to these question... haha blame my curious nature... can't stand not knowing things i want to know...

Do they get some kick out of just neglecting, or even simply not bothering so much about the girl? And yet, they can be the sweetest thing on earth. They can just do something that is so small, but so sweet that the girl will be so touched. I don't know... but is this their way of extending the period of validity in the relationship. Like for example when it is going to "run out" or end, they do something that "extends" the mood. Or what?

Just a simple hug brings the girl to cloud nine and a small present could bring the girl to tears. Haiz... i don't feel like saying anymore... don't see the meaning...

Last night was damn hot. Didn't on the aircon for goodness knows why reason. Was reading comics until i fell asleep, which was about 3 i guess. Drifting in and out of sleep was damn bad. Especially when you know you aren't sleeping much. Quite shocked to see sunlight streaming into my room at 7 in the morning. Didn't feel as if i sleep much. Don't know why. Stupid mind.

After that night, it seems as if i've became alcohol overdosed. Blood doesn't run through my body anymore, alcohol does. Die... i'm an alcoholic. Even just a bit of alcohol can spark my whole body into a mildy drunk state. It's damn bad and i hate it.

Jennifer Aniston reminds me of Trista...

From thesundaytimes...

Stuttering: This is a speech fluency disorder that is characterised by repetitions at the sound, syllable or word level, such as "e-e-e-elephant". There may also be prolonged "stoppage" where no sound comes out and excessive use of word fillers such as "er".

"Singer Gareth Gates' stutter was so bad he had trouble introducing himself to the judges of British talent show Pop Idol in 2002. Named Favourite Male Artist at last Saturday's MTV Asia Awards here, he said in an interview: "If i didn't have a stammer, i'd probably be a lot more arrogant and full of myself." Stuttering is just one of several conditions that can render a person acutely self-conscious and hamper his social skills, say mental health doctors."

Check this out...

"Ms Khoo Sue Anne, a senior psychologist at the Institute of Mental Health(IMH), says: "Often, the anxiety of what others will think about a blush or a stammer is the real problem."

"Social phobia, also known as social anxiety disorder, is the term psychiatrists use to describe overwhelming anxiety and self-consciousness in everyday social situations. Associate Professor Calvin Fones has coined another term for the condition - Fear Of Negative Evaluation and Scrutiny." (yes i think its very true...)

"Associate Professor Leslie Lim, who heads the department of behavioural medicine at the SGH, says people with this disorder have a chronic fear of being judged as "weird, weak or incompetent" by others." (True again...)

I would say mine is a mild case... inconsistent sometimes also...

"Some even have to change their names to something that they can pronounce easily. She recalls a patient who always ended up ordering strawberry ice cream, which he disliked, because he always stuttered on the word "chocolate". Many of them are socially isolated and suffer from low self-esteem. They feel frustration, anxiety and even shame. At the end of the day, it boils down to how a person views his impediment or any embarassing trait. "If he is confident and good-humoured, he can still get his message across very effectively," says Ms Khoo of IMH."

"Some people say my brain works faster than my mouth, that's why i stammer." - Mr Gerry De Silva, Group Corporate affairs manager for Hong Leong Group (haha... =D)

"Reading widely, he says, also mitigated his tendency to stammer as "what was spoken was far more important then how it was spoken".

Oh well...

Haha... i did the angel's wings quiz and i got angelic... the explanation is very tootz... it's too... good...

I remember clearly a note that was left on my tagboard commenting about loneliness. If he can't cope with loneliness... how can i manz? I definitely can't. If he can't, i can't. You all know how high i hold him in my eyes. How much i respect him. So hey... what is so wrong about feeling lonely? If you can cope with it, then good for you. Then next time don't ever let me see you with anyone around you.

This week has been one of the best this year.

okie... an update on what i've been doing... went school on mon and wed for vball... it was good... really wonder how come i didn't join vball back then... would had enjoyed it a lot... went out with friends so much this week loh... never went grandma's house for dinner at all... then sis told me jon can wave now... miss him and jeff... transport's fees taking a huge toil on my pocket... spent nearly 40 bucks on transport this week... wth manz... went to minsi's and michelle's workplace twice... first time was to visit them but only minsi was there... then 2nd time went with trina, sean, songyu, kenneth and ariel for dinner... learnt about kazu... the dudes came my house for mj the other day... played police and thieves for awhile... played lan quite a bit too... on mon nite and fri... lots of fun this week la... watched finished my love patzzi on fri's night... now reading sean's dragonball... oh went out yesterday with the dudes... watched something's gotta give with nic, kenneth, sean and trina... it was a show that i didn't quite expect... shocked me la... it wasn't something i expect to see on tv or in the movies... all the 30 something guy or girl having a relationship with an overaged... and the making out scene on a "wet stormy afternoon" was quite disturbing... i don't know why... then i went pass the vcd to sy... then went to meet eunice and yh at suntec... was damn late anyway... then ber came... went harry's after that...

That's about it la...

If it is out of plain courtesy, i guess i got to say... "You are welcome..." to the mysterious kaoz for thanking me...

If it is out of plain honesty, i guess i got to say... "I don't know what are you talking about... absolutely no idea..."

Hey... how's everyone lately? Fine? A's results coming out soon... worried about it... and practical test soon too... Hang in there manz guys... kill all the sadness and sorrows with a bright outlook... and don't let anything, or anyone affect you... hey dudes... we are all peaceful people... guess you know what i mean... i am a bit amused at how things happened without me knowing it... unless i really have short term memory... i didn't know i had a secret admirer... honestly it was bad to know that... cos i like to reciprocate everything... but well... i've reached a fullstop.

Haven't been sleeping enough lately... been sleeping at 3 lately... this is so going to spoil my body clock... waking up at 5 for ns sounds kind of scary... but they all say i will get used to it... can't wait to go in... but... honestly there are things outside that's keeping me here too...

I like a term i heard... yi1 xin1 bing4... erm... meaning getting suspicious... like how easily and stuff... my yi xin bing is very zhong... very heavy... if you get what i mean...

I do not know why in dramas... when characters say bad stuff to each other... they got to stop and listen... obviously the reason for them to say bad stuff is to cause the other to be angry or affected by it... can't they just smile and walk away?

Absurdity

Dragonball and my love patzzi were on his mind
Until a fabulous writer spun the tallest tale of all
Little did he know himself he has got such a history
Only to be enlightened of his misadventure
Such a trust he always made
Without doubt he didn't break it
Yes he did stick up at where the sun doesn't shine
But that was cos' she was moonshaped
What a way to hurt but too bad
The body doesn't run of blood
Hey Harold Pinter
Stand aside please

No he does not understand why
Except perhaps i think you sought attention
A bit too much maybe
And a little too little for the Guinness Record
Love me oh please do not
For he loved no one i must admit
Those green shorts days were all gay
And it was all for fun as you know
Sorry you must jump off
But why not hari kiri
Must he list the names of the girls he knew back then
For it isn't much but 2 hands
What a disappointment it would be
If your name ain't inside

He's got nothing to care about
Nor nothing to prove to anyone
His friends all know who he is
All the absurdity only gets him lamer
Pay up oh hell yeah
But how much do you want
He ain't working so no GST please
And are they taxably by the way
Hey he's got no halo nor any wings to go by
Except he supports the red devils
If he breaks your tender heart as you proclaimed
My sympathy is all out to you
And maybe one big thank you to you
For loving him without me even knowing it

I thought of the starting of a rap just now while playing mahjong... it goes something like this...

Hey Mrs Policewoman
How's your first day at work?
Hope you didn't nab the wrong man
Papers and documents not your job
Then what do you actually do?
I hid behind bushes and flowers she said
Watching a guy plays lan
He could hit the 8 ball pretty straight
And that's about all he does
Pity he wasn't stalking
Else i wouldn't had said hi
What a prick he was at hurting
He knows that very well
Only dear Mrs Policewoman
Got it all very wrong

She brought them all into the cell
And questioned them one by one
All except a few haven't been to en lounge
For it is a sneaky place
All the pseudo-screwing and
All the hanky panky(uh oh)
Mrs Policewoman couldn't stand it at all
So she had to stick to that one poor chap
Except a few messages in our dear Friendster
There wasn't nothing much in him
Cos the horny bastard ate it all
His little daughter wasn't spared
For like poles don't attract
But dear Mrs Policewoman
Didnt have the faintest idea at all

Too much war on the territory
Whose government isn't too supportive of
It cleared up the mess
And hopes nothing more comes about
When Mrs Policewoman reports for work
The bird flu would had gone by
For viruses like these don't stay for long
Tiger-turtle stance will subdue them
Like how horny bastards learn
At least they don't twist facts
Or come out just to create trouble
They have much better things to do
Like write a rap to kill boredom
But still dear Mrs Policewoman
Doesn't understand it at all

To all of you...

When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have (all of)you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I'll look and see (all of)your face
(all of)You were right there for me

In my dreams
I'll always see (all of)your soul
Above the sky
In my heart
There always be a place
For (all of)you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of (all of)you with me
And everywhere I am
There (all of)you'll be

Well (all of)you showed me
How it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength (all of)you
Gave to me
(all of)Your love made me
Make it through
Oh, I owe so much to (all of)you
(all of)You were right there for me

[Repeat chorus]

'Cause I always saw in (all of)you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank (all of)you
Now for all the ways
(all of)You were right there for me
(all of)You were right there for me

So much for honesty... What else can i still say?

Saw it at dennis' site... then realised i've got the song... haha... blur me... Truly a great song... Love, Me

I read a note my grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat and he showed it once to me
He said," Boy you might not understand, but a long long time ago
Grandma's daddy dint like me enough, but I loved your grandma so
We had this crazy plan to meet, and run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
i found this letter and this is what it said

If you get there before I do, don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through, I don't know how long i'll be
But i'm not gonna let you down, Darling wait and see
And between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you..love me..."

I read those words just hours before my grandma passed away
In the doorway of a church where me and grandpa stopped to pray
I know I never seen him cry in all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her
His eyes filled up with tears

And between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you... love me

At The Beginning... so many meanings...

We were strangers starting out on our journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are and I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected what you did to my heart
When I lost hope you were there to remind me
This is the start

And Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever
A Wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there whenthe storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
I know that my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you

I haven't touched that for a couple of days already. I just lost the motivation to finish it. It's one whole big patch of uncomplete work, one big unfinished business, one big muddle of love.

Guess what, i went for my uncle's tea ceremony just now at a restaurant. They had karaoke there and everyone was picking songs to sing. All the hokkien and chinese and english songs. And i just realised how so many chinese songs that are quite old translate many of my moods. A chinese song definitely tells more than an english song. So many of them. But i can't even think of one now. If my chinese has been better, i would have tried writing chinese songs.

I neglected my reply last night to someone. Sorry about that. I just felt that you neglected me too. But until just now when i read what you wrote, i guess you are feeling as much the same thing as i do.

When things got too close, it becomes awkward to tell the closest things. I can't help it but i don't want it that way. I want things how they were. But it's hard. Really. Difficult. Sorry. Don't know what i am saying anyway.

When i expect more, i always get disappointed. Why should i try so hard? Why should i "force" things? I wasn't like that. I just hate being alone. Hate being lonely.

Yesterday's Vday was fine.

Saw about 20 odd people that i know of. Including those that i went out with. Haha... kenneth said those don't count. And that the facils count as one. Don't care. =p

Vince, koklong, ken and me will make a fine cs team. But i think i am the lousiest because i can't snipe.

Some things can't be said directly to people because we all got our own pride and shyness and whatever awkwardness. We just got to keep them guessing and stuff and hope they guess it right.

Hp number...

Who was the one that i told my problems first to?

I was in his shoes before. All i wanted to do was to lessen his pain. All i wanted to be was a friend to him just like how i needed someone there.

Saw cindy yesterday also... and shimon and howe...

The way you treat him, his words and actions... is exactly the way i treat whatever you say and do.

Borrowed "My Love Patzzi"(hong dou nue zhi nian) from connie...

Cousin's gf(my cousin's mum introduced her as her future daughter-in-law) came to the tea ceremony just now... its... it left me hopeful, sad, impressed, curious, happy, and a lot more... left me thinking also...

Yesterday out in town left me feeling a lot too.

Passed my FTT. Now for the actual thing.

Found the paper for my IC. =)

How much can i move on? Isn't it better not to move on? Isn't it better without anymore trouble? Isn't it better not creating problems for people around me? Isn't it better if i don't create headaches for others? Isn't it better if it doesn't jeopardize all my relationships?

Experiencing something as true as that was enough for me. It was enough. It made me felt complete. And it shows how good it had been. If something similar is to happen, it has to be better than that... and that would... i guess... be my dream. Vincent said what if after a long long long time i still can't find that dream. Then i will just go on finding. I won't settle for less. Because they would be imcomparable.

Who did i call that night? You... are... my... dream...

They will hide and they will shun you when things aren't to their liking. They use the fact that they know you will worry against you. They use jealousy to instil hatred and fear in you. They just play with you when they got too many others. They will just avoid things that will make them embarassed or uncomfortable.

http://www.geocities.com/musicpara/Stella.htm#7

http://www.geocities.com/musicpara/Mayday.htm#chun

http://www.geocities.com/musicpara/Harlem.htm#qingfei

Valentine's Day

It is... just another day... just another Saturday...

What is so important about it? Whatever that is purposely done on that day... to me... loses its meaning... Is is just because it is Valentine's Day? In the end, whatever that comes down to the wire, is in the heart. Like how June said it, even if it is sitting in a hawker centre eating mee hoon kuay and drinking milo ping, i wouldn't mind also. No roses. No teddy bears. No chocolates. Only... my heart.

It is the only thing i can offer, that i can give totally. Roses die, teddies sit on the shelves for too long and chocolate melts or spoils after sometime.

Valentine's Day... So what? Just sitting at one corner of the world looking at the moon at night and knowing she's looking at the moon at the other corner of the world at the same time is enough for me. Just a simple message "Happy Valentine's Day" and i would feel all of it.

Money can earn. All the teddy bears, all the roses and all the chocolates i can buy for you. But is that what you want?

All the hugs and kisses... you can have them too. But are these what you really want?

All the meeting ups i can give to you. All my time i can give to you too. But is that what you really really want?



Do you want my heart?



I told QY that i would wait for her for 3 years. It wasn't forced. It wasn't unpleasant. It wasn't anything impatient. I was happy just waiting for her. Why? Because... just simply knowing someone out there loves you and has you in her heart is enough. Though it wasn't true on her part la... Anyway that's not the point.

Nothing needs to be said at all. Nothing. Really. Hard to believe you know... but it's the truth. There's no need to talk about what happened that day. There's no need to think of what are we going to do today. There's no need for presents. There's no need for any "I miss you." There's no need for any "I love you." Although i must say all these are bonuses. But... just silently sitting by the phone... hearing each other's breathing... and knowing just one thing... is sufficient.

IF...

IF i can free your pain, i would gladly do so.

IF there is anything you want to tell me, i am all ears.

IF your words are only meant for my ears, i would not tell a single soul.

IF you require some opinions, i would only tell you what the truest of my heart feels.

IF you need me to light up your inside, i won't hesitate to do my best.

IF you must wait, i will wait with you.

IF you ask, i will give.

IF you know me, you will believe me.

Things for bored people to do

1) Type a list of things for bored people to do.

2) Buy a damn hardcore jigsaw puzzle and do it within a week.

3) Play 4 players warcraft tower defence until you are damn good.

4) Write a novel.

5) Compose a song.

6) Search through all the music scores you've got and relearn all the songs.

7) Learn a new recipe. Maybe fried porridge, or perhaps "Cubed fishballs sliced carrots and potatoes with shredded chicken salad"

8) Try out new hairstyles for your hair. Parting? Messy? Geeky? Mohawk?

9) Play GB and ks every single kill you see.

10) Sleep.

How much is the person to you?

How much "special" can you allow yourself to "make" your friend into? How much of a normal friend do you permit yourself in letting him be somewhat special than the rest? How much of yourself do you allow to be revealed to a friend?

Do you dare to tell a friend your pin code? And allow him to help you pay for the things you buy with your card? And live in this fun(yes i will it call fun) and exciting life knowing someone knows something important of yours?

Do you dare to tell a normal pal your password? Maybe to your blog or to msn or icq? Then coming online to see crap being typed in your blog or even can't logging online because someone's using your account? Hahaha what fun~!!

Watched "Love me if you dare"? Dare to dare your friend to do the craziest things? Dare to make anyone part of your life and get through all the shit together?

Life's too dull... Everyone's my special friend from now on...

The feeling of security can allow one to actually be so confident. When i became so insecure, lost and aimless... i couldn't bring myself to venture into something which i am not familiar with. I wasn't in the state of being capable of being alone. There was always someone there. Someone for me to feel safe with. Someone there that i obtain my support from. Someone so close that i can share anything with. And when it's gone... i was like a cripple without his walking stick...

Just done the last lesson... and just cancelled the 2 extra bookings which i made... waiting for FTT results then practical test... then maybe booked 2 more revisions...

When your fingers became slightly numbed... not totally numbed until pins and needles that are quite bad... the numbness stays for a long time... like how my fingers are now... because i was holding on the seatbelt just now in alex's car... argh they just wont go away...

Everything was wrong... the puzzle was wrong... sorry to the guys... i don't know if i lied but if i did... sorry... i am in a contradictory state so whatever i said wasn't here nor there... but please don't ask me for the truth... i really don't know...

The SATs was wrong too...

The messages were wrong too...

The story was wrong too... i couldn't bring myself to write more than 10 chapters... it just numbs me more when i write... anyway... after finishing chapter 10 for sometime... i couldn't agree to some stuff i wrote in that chapter... it is like the same because i thought some of the stuff that i wrote in chapter 1 wasn't exactly how i was feeling when i was writing chapter 10...

I change too fast... perhaps another trait of a gemini... adaptable? fickle? well... don't know...

Who am i to hope for now? When every single hope had failed in the past... Only eligible for a passerby role... all i can do is to hope that she is fine...

Arghh... my heart's acting up again...

It's only one photo... ONE photo... and it almost brought me back... right back to every single moment in the last 2 months... it took only a photo... can you believe it?

When i thought i forgot... when i thought i wouldn't need to be brought back to that situation again... when i thought i would just let it go... when i thought if i don't do anything... nothing will turn too bad... all it needed was to flip a photo album...

When i think of the good times... i can only think of everything last year and the year before...

Today's moon is very very bright... though it is only slightly larger than half...

The sky at my house can be seen from lots of places... i could see the beautiful stars from nic's house too... i guess because spore's small enough...

"All women cry for no reason..."

"...And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

The tears from a guy's eyes are the truest... it is his everything...

Reputation is something that you don't want to mess with... it sticks with you for quite sometime... and people remember... they remember where you had gone wrong...

Just like how Mark Lee said it... if Chow Yun Fat is to produce an album and it is a flop... everyone will remember...

I know how you felt le...

Some things even though there are its clear pros and cons... it is simply impossible to put any weightage to them...

In a huge fucking dilemna...

It is no longer there anymore... no more... replaced... it was all just for show...

Why did i work so hard for Napfa for? Why did i aim to get that silver award? Why did i want to skip the extra 6 weeks training? Why did i not want to go in earlier?

Why am i "stuck" outside?

"Stuck" in this cruel state of circulation... of repeated events... of endless drama... of neverending problems...

Why didn't i think of going in earlier so i can come out earlier too?

I've became too daring for my own good. Too bold. It's either losing this or losing my rationality.

"...all those in the same "situation" if ur still like stuck in the middle of deciding which path ur gonna take..
take the risk, no matter how foolish and unsure u are..."

-Nic's site...

Yeah... haha... don't everything look so similar... did the guy up there plan everything so structuredly for all of us... ya it's a very right statement... i guess it's the best way around...

Moongazing

3 days back or so... when the moon was full... i watched it... in fact i stared at it...

It isn't often that you get the chance to see the moon move. All the facts about the orbit of the moon just comes in. But i can't simply look at the moon and said it moved right... so i had to based it on a house that was in my line of vision with the moon...

At first the moon was slightly covered by the roof of the house... then as i looked on... suddenly i could see the whole moon... and no i did not shift my head or anything... it's quite hard to actually see it moving on its own but after a while... the gap between the house and the moon becomes bigger and bigger... and i was quite surprised that the moon moved so fast... it didn't take the moon 5 mins to move a few cms away from the house(using my view).

That day qihui asked me what i want to be in the future... i said astronaut... =)

Internet Relay Chat

Used to go there everyday... for a real reason i can't really think of now... chat? gossip? scold vulgarities? waste time? How much of virtual is IRC and how much of reality is it?

Meeting someone new and getting to know him online is so easy. You just let your fingers do the talking. Even if you can't talk, knowing what you need to say usually does the work. It isn't difficult to fully express what you want to say, and both of you say more than you can in real life. But how real of the conversation is real?

"Knew him for quite sometime... nearly 6 months... would see him online about 5 times a week... would talk a lot of stuff with him... gradually i found myself liking him... our "talks" will intensified to more serious stuff... and he enjoys it too... one day he asked me to be his gf..."

Virtual partner?

Just feeling so comfortable with each other is so simple without having need to face each other. No need to second guess their expressions... no need for meals and going-outs... just plain conversation...

Lets move this to a more recent stage... "we've got each other's number... and we would sms each other everyday... he would send me cute messages which he knows i like... and sometimes i would tease him for not being macho enough... sometimes we would just call each other and talk... but the funny thing is that we always can't talk long because one of our phones will not have enough battery for a long conversation... well... but we are pretty comfortable with each other... and we always like to hear from each other everyday... but... we haven't met before..."

The simplicity of things... haiz... the more you know... the more you got to bear with...

"We met up for the first time last week... it wasn't like anything that i had anticipated... we didn't even talk much... it was all different... quite awkward i felt... but we will continue to sms each other the following week... then there were the exams that were coming... and we met up again before that... it was like the previous time... we hardly said anything... then... he did not contact me at all after that... not even an sms... i felt so down... i was so depressed... well... perhaps i had fallen in love with him..."

Nevertheless... IRC had provided a lot of entertainment and fun for me... all the crazy topic setting and the kicking and the banning and the scripts and the ops and the voices and the floodings and the downloadings...

Think of maybe 10 years back... hahahahahaha... what the hell is IRC manz... and what is sms? erm... you need to look for me? call my house phone la...
and if i am not home... then too bad loh... or if i am shitting in the toilet... i won't ever know you called...

Shitting... as in sitting on a toilet bowl and shitting... is like having anal sex... except that maybe for anal sex the shit's going in and out...

I am going to have a dozen kids. Who's going to have them with me?

__________________, ___________________, __________________, ________________(Write your names here)

I want to give my everything... my all... for that something that i really really want... but... the situation doesn't permit me to... i don't have the opportunity... or rather... maybe you can put it this way... even if i put in everything that i've got... i still won't get that something that i really really want...

7 Things Not To Do On A Date. For girls. Perhaps for Vday.

1) Let your date wait for a long long long long long long long long (meaning excessively too long) time while you take your own sweet time in the toilet. It's not as if because we had relieved ourselves, we can wait longer.

2) Order too much food and can't finish them all. Leftovers are ugly. Not eating at all is plain disgusting.

3) Chat about what you did with your guy friends. Maybe you thought it would be better if we date them instead?

4) Keep absolutely quiet about the bill or whatever he pays because he is the guy. So what he is the guy? Everyone should go dutch i feel. Guy doesn't spell as "I need to pay for all your stuff."

5) SMS nonstop on the phone. You might as well date your phone. Yeah maybe all you need is the antenna?

6) Meet a friend or anyone later. Because you are supposed to let him send you home.

7) Swear and say vulgarities excessively. One or two fucks are okie. But not knnbccb.

By: Lah (Anything that is wrong pls tag it down. Any extra stuff that i can add pls tag it down too.)

...

For a little pride and dignity
I bowed down and did your bids
You treated me like how i treated her
For all these i've lived
I got nothing back

You think you are great
Just like how i thought i was
I thought you were different
I got down on my knees
And i was never too wrong

I am confused and disappointed
We can never come to the stage again
For things had changed
Just like how i couldn't bring myself up again
Pummelled deep down the valley of fear

Time won't heal any wounds
Neither will talk erase my memory
For each time deja vu occurs
You flash past me
And strike like my past

I think that girl(uh hem) who was taking photos of us playing pool at monster today is really cute. =p

Yeah right... she's so noisy, talkative, loud, rude, fierce and whatever-too-much. And she tried to rid me off my father's day twice. So that means she's evil too.

Was talking with ariel about girls at his workplace. They being xiao mei mei and i said they only want to play.

Last time i played a lot. What was it they called me? I can't remember. Don't quite like the name anyway. What did i do? I hurt others quite badly. Why? Because i felt bored.

What do i really want? What do people actually want? When is the right time for you? When is the right time for me? What is your mentality like? Are you serious, or just plain kiddy? Are you there just for the sake of it, or are you there because you want it?

I remember one friend that said something like this... "he enjoys the feeling of falling in love, he does not love you..."

What does that mean? Well i guess... maybe it means that "he" only likes to go through the procedure of wooing a girl... and that's it. Well... it will be true for me if it is said... somewhere around 2 years back.

Who isn't scared of commitment? I aint... if i enjoy the commitment. =)

Achar had this episode on love the other day. What is love? "Love is... what both sides feel for each other... it's undescribable..."

I've set my mind on one thing. Not saying it here... because it might not come true then... i might say it if you ask... =) All i can say is that it's very related to one of andy lau's character in one of his recent shows.

Once bitten, twice shy.

Goodbye my love as its time to go...
Its time to get you out of my mind...

(Sang to the tune of Goodnight Sweetheart)

Just thought of it while i was queuing for my ramen today at meridien.

I spent too much today. Shocked to see so little money left in my wallet when i proposely went and count it today before i went out. Haiz...

I've done all i could... erm maybe not all i could, but at least i am satisfied from what i saw... glad at least i could do something...

I pity that censor-guy who does the censoring for survivor. I think he hates Richard Hatch very much.

...

You are always on my mind
Whatever you do, i'm so mesmerized by you
If only you know how i feel
If only you feel the same way too
Gone is the pillar that i lean on
And gone is the person you once called dear
Things will never be similar
Like how rings don't fit wrong fingers

It is time for me to pass through
For time to go on faster
I cannot understand how easy you have been
And also how it seems as though you don't care
If only you can forget
But all ifs are ifs
And ifs never really get fulfilled

Who am i to remind you
But only someone you are comfortable with
Perhaps nobody much to you
A green horn you can call me
For i know not much of the procedures
Shoot me for i am a poor student

Waiting is what i have been doing
And a little time you asked for
Which i gave to you
Perhaps it was too little
So you had me killed

Three is the number of replies
A little too little for my preference
But who am i to ask for more
Only friends can tell me so

I am no more important
Than the times you see him
And you don't want to care

Who are we but strangers on a road
With nothing in between

Except him ...

When i read others' blogs on how they miss their loved ones... i feel very happy and blessed for them... it is like a feeling that shows how deep 2 persons are bonded together... all the awkwardness, shyness and whatever weirdness are evaporated through mutual care(maybe love)... it is so... nice... but at the same time it doesn't make me feel too good either... but anyway... don't know why i am feeling like this too... vday's coming...

It's not that i don't want to work... i don't feel like working... yes i can work... but i think i need to be around people that i know...

It's not as if i've got anything to do everyday. I am practically doing nothing... really... it is so freaking boring... sian... so if anyone is feeling as bored as me... lets go out manz...

Haven't bowled in a long time... feel like bowling...

Thanks Clarence... for exchanging his question booklet with me... i did not want to do booklet F because it means fail... would rather do C because it means chicken feet...

Mood: Sad

Why? Because i cannot find the song lyrics that i want.

It is the lyrics of Vivian Hsu's Jue Ding Ai Ni.

Salesman? Personality of a mouse? Whoa... Simon you DA MAN manz...

Hey dudes chill manz... come on... it is only janet's breast...

It is so easy to fall in love... really... too easy...

Guess i will be expecting the worst from now on... it wouldn't be any good the way it was written... so yeah... haiz...

I am too pampered. Not in the sense of too spoilt, but always getting what i want. Not in the sense of maturity but always getting my wishes fulfilled.

What if i don't get what i want?

love unconditionally...? hard leh...

in my eyes you have lost someone you love or wish
you loved. i think youll find the right person
one day. good luck. (rate?)


in my eyes you are...(pics and different outcomes)
brought to you by Quizilla

haha... i got this quiz from flea's site and i got the same result as her...


Your element is Light: Innocent, beautiful,
kind-hearted and pure. You are so sweet your
almost angelic, you find joy in others
happiness and cannot stand to see anyone in
pain. You want to make everyone around you feel
good about themselves and if someone is upset
you can tend to become rather upset as well
which means you still have a heart. Being as
kind and good-natured as you are people have
most likely hurt you in the past but you pick
yourself up everytime and dust off the pain.
You may look fragile but you are stronger than
you think. Life is beautiful no matter how you
look at it and people make mistakes, not
everyone is perfect. You try to see the good in
the bad which is a talent few posses, dont ever
let anyone change you. Someday all of your hard
work to make others happy will pay off big
time, not that your looking for a reward. You
truely have a beautiful soul inside and a heart
of gold.


.:-|What is your true element?|-:. {-With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-} ^_^
brought to you by Quizilla

lots of things to write...


but i've got one ques... whenever people read wad i wrote... wad impression are they actually starting from?

... can they actually sense the strain? ... hope they don't... cos i am a happy guy... i keep all sad things in me... yeah right... i don't... i explode with all the sadness to people around me... ermmm.... i am confused now...

i am a vulgar, straightforward guy who says wad i want.

tired.... everyone's tired... everyone at this age is tired... everyone in this world is tired... migrate to mars la... some people declare their tiredness... helps them this way... some keep it to themselves... and maybe it helps this way too... so many people to take care of... so many people that cares for u... haven't we heard enough? If only there isn't any expectations... haiz...

ever try not expecting anything at all for like maybe 2 days?

like maybe not expecting to get a sms... or maybe not expecting to have dinner to eat... or maybe not expecting that you wont fall asleep?

wont u be happier when these things happen?

have u tried going out onto the streets giving money to people... and not expecting them to say thanks... or maybe just going around helping people... and not expecting any gratitude... what if they say thanks? do u feel happy?

why cry out loud for pity... every single bit of suffering anyone gets... i would say its their own fault... entirely their own fault... bcos of how they are... tats why that thing happened... and thats why they suffer...

i don't dare to msg her... its just me... i am hurt deep down inside by what she said... i cry out in silence... but whose fault? mine. my own. cos i nv dare msg her...

if i msg her... its just me again... but if she didn't reply... and i get disappointed... whose fault is it? mine again. cos i expected her to reply.

i dun care if anyone reads this... i dun wanna expect anymore. haha... den i come to a point whereby i question myself... shouldnt it be better if i am dead?

when we are young, there's hardly and problem. when we come to an age like this... probs start coming in... and i guess probably 20 years down the road... there wont be much problems again...

from a stage of 'not knowing anything' to a stage of 'slow realisation', then to a stage of 'maturity.' but who can say they can live without friends? What is the purpose of friends? Who are they? What are they for? People whom we pour our sorrows to? People whom we want so that we can feel pitied or sympathised? People who can support us when we are in trouble? or people who are there to screw our asses?

Humans can never understand humans. Everyone is changing and changing and changing and changing and changing and changing and changing and changing and changing...................................................

So what if i say i know you now? The next minute u say smth that i don't quite expect to come from your mouth. Disappointment.

What's important in life? ohhhh so many things..........studies...job....family....friends....helping the people around you...having a positive attitude....blah blah blahh....i think what's very important is yourself. You settle yourself first before you mind other things. You freaking hell go and sort yourself out before you start another of those chain reaction things. ---->i helped you... thank you very much... i got a problem now... help me can? no i dun wanna tell you... what's wrong with you... nothing... (both parties are now sad)

It is really tiring you know?

We are subjected to so many forms of emotions and feelings... that weaker ones get confused... and the stronger ones help the weaker ones... and get influenced in a way or another... and become weaker... what a world manz... haha........

Shun me manz... i've not much of a reputation to say things that are soothing to the ears... anyway i dun think i am much of a good guy oso...

Best scenario---> sit down and play mahjong... get on a field and kick a ball... go and kick some asses in cs... watch a movie... play pool...

There shouldn't be a mouth... so no one can talk... when people talk, things happen... then my hands shouldn't be here too... so i can't type... then there shouldn't be eyes too... so no one can see...

haha wth manz... see... it leads to very bad stuff... it leads to neverending stuff...

so... whats the best thing... think of the good things loh... use your mouth to eat... yeah eating's good... use your hands to grope someone's ass... and use your eyes to see porn...

we will all get through this tough period of time... and when we are like 50 years old... we will look back at these stuff and laugh our asses off...

shudnt haf come online... come online oso nothing else to say... only make myself more sad...

My life has reached a period of uncertainty. Not quite used to it when in the past, things were so scheduled and fixed. Last time got time then play. Now everytime got time. Makes playing not so enjoyable. I haven't held a pen for a long time. Miss those Ms Nathan's essays. And miss Mr Low's tutorials. And i miss mass PE. I am like unfit now. I miss training. I miss hitting the shuttlecocks. I miss doing footwork. I miss running round the courts. I miss playing matches. I miss coach. I miss training with the dudes... richard... ber... shuhong... minglu... matthew... yitwen... si ming... haiz... i miss my primary school dudes... remember last time always go junqing's house play ps... then xiangyang, jianming and tongda will come over... sometimes jianqiang and victor will come over... miss shahrizan also... used to call him shah pig... last time i saw him was at causeway point... that was when i was in j1... miss working for ber's father at the shipyard... all the curry and all the angmoh... and i miss cs... cs with the dudes... ]AxN[-JimCarrey-]|0.03|... thats my full nick... we were good k... doing all the shit stuff... and girls... what a taboo last time... so exciting... so nervous... so heeheehee... kind of erm... gone now...

What's wrong with me manz? Is this known as growing up?

If only can go back in time... haha...

Without the computer, the internet and the games, i think i will be bored to death.

learnt vertical parking today.... whooaahhoooo....i can park now~!!! hahaha...anyway damn damn scared for tmr's FTT....dunno why oso...juz damn scared....yest's survivor was good manz...but surprised to see rupert's group lost in the challenge...straits times had somemore said that the team is the team to beat...haha...but i think is bcos of rudy la...so blardee old already...navy seal so wad....

i juz ate 2 antibiotics tablets... and... erm... why is the world spinning??

wah yest mj session sucked big time manz...never expect that to happen oso...lose and lose like siao....den the throw ur own self thing doesnt work anymore...kaoz....lost like 20 plus bucks in the end...1 leg lose 3 legs...hahaha...aiya anyway theres always a bad day now and then...wf won the most sia...but considering his last 2 times lost quite a bit...my luck was like rotten loh...won only 3 times in total and den the rest is win from those cat eat mouse and the gang...sucks manz....anyway...this aftnoon driving lesson was good manz...learnt some good stuff and i finished my stage 2...my bladder was blardee full manz...den had to tell the instructor i need go pee...hahha....wah den pee come out damn song...else confirm explode inside the car..i muz do my safety checks oso...and die la...FTT in 2 days time...cannot fail....muz go and practise and practise...

wah kaoz...i am damn bored loh...later going out for laobu's bday dinner....den my throat like shit loh...can only eat porridge...nvm i shall go and eat abalone porridge...think i am falling ill....haiz....how like that....muz go exercise more from now onwards...wah tat day i went jogging ard my house...very fast tired leh...die liao la....go army confirm pengz...heck la...i go army pengz den i hope the government scrap NS...better still i 1st day go in den pengz...den those tat need to go in after me dun need go in liaoz...hahha...

den oh ya...my gb silver axe liao leh....hahha...but played like siao loh....muz be sat at aunty's house play and play la...den ming they all help me earn lots of money...hahaha....wah sian tmr lesson at 830 leh...i wake up the cock havent even wake up yet....den maybe after that i go see doc...go say wassssuppp to doc...

I set eyes upon things that blinded me
Never have i known such things exist.
Only the purest snow lights the ground
With nothing but only its truest form.

It becomes quite "forced" i feel. When it is like, not real, and when people start to doubt how much others mean to them. "Sorry" and "Thank you" become so commonly used, that they lose their meaning. Everywhere there is a sorry or a thank you, but how much of that comes from the heart? And what if it is only out of politeness that they are said? Doesn't that shows a lot? And yes, when you think you don't feel like saying a thank you because there's no need to, well of course it is only because of who you are. I don't think people should judge others based on themselves. Others do not say sorry or thank you because... well... they think that deep down, whatever that is done doesn't warrant a sorry or a thank you. Or they are just plain rude.