eh wah laoz...tmr event is formal meh?? shit manz...i was thinking of wearing t shirt and berms...nvm then i wear the clothes i bought with fred and jas that day...formal enough lar...

don't know what cheri is saying...what superficial what not same not same?? don't know lar...don't know why people talk to me must talk so indirectly arh?? want my ice cream say lah...don't ask me whether nice or not...

senegal won france...haha...actually got the feeling liao that france may not win...but its so unpredicable...its like as long as you play good you can win liao...

now going out to school for econs extra lesson...after that think going to get my hair cut....damn sian manz...i want to go out~!!! or else my next week will be almost gone after LTC and then there is also thurs match...time really flies manz...and there is also my organ exam~!!! argghhhhh...damn...like life, i am beginning to...

Okok...LTC is next mon to wed...wish me luck manz...i will need them...heard its tough, but tough is okie for me. The more impt thing is to do well and to impress the seniors to get a good post...and dicipline also...manz...and i seriously realise sth...that whenever now i go for sc meeting, the humour is gone from me...its really scary you know, its like i am so strict and diciplined, then everyone was like laughing around, and joking about, but i am damn serious...shit manz...i think i am just scared from the previous experiences...must changed that, then terence and stanley was asking me to relax...really manz...relax i must...

Oh yar...about the sc meeting yest...learn quite a bit of stuff, actually not learn lar, more on practising to be better. Sang the national anthem about 10 times, the sch song about 5 times...learn to memorise the pledge and to say it out aloud, also the flag pulling part...then damn funny, 'cause only me and cheryl singing anthem...loud loud someone in the whole quad...then yihan and ken was pulling flag...overall its quite okie...then evien praise me for sitting upright...=pp...i was like wth...haha..somemore she say everyone should sit like me then can give speaker more motivation to speak...blah.

I think yoda talks damn cool leh...haha...is cool the way he talks...learn from him i will...=p

It's fri morn...yest sleep damn early leh...Just got back from the chalet...i am so blardee damn tired...can fall asleep anytime, anywhere, anyhow...was on my way to school after coming back home to change, was falling asleep on the train and the bus, and on the way back home also...on bus 156 knocking off...haiyo...then need to get my hair cut as well...shit manz...

amazed me she has...she has amazed me...

organ exam is on the 11th june...gonna pia...its all or nothing...

ermz...realise that the hair at the back of my head is the longest since i was born....as in the back part there....really long can....yay~~

juz had a really good talk wif ven...she is quite upset wif stuff tat happened tat day...but its quite okie now...dunno how she is going to handle stuff...advise her on some stuff...yar so tats bout it..tmr going chiong d2 wif sy...den pool...den chalet...wont be ard for quite some time....take care peepz...

i cudnt understand why everything going on now is about bgr and bgr and bgr....its always there....ALWAYS....its all part of life i guess....

erm well....final confirmation on who shud be going....brian and gf, ber, show, derek, eunice, fred, felicia, hanna, jas, jia, kai, ken, marc, marc goh, boon hua, ong bu, pert, rayner, alex, ,rose stacey, sooch, sy, sid, tau, vince, yf, yh, zq and the t1 gals...

still need to confirm onez: darren, deb, minsi, tim, wesley, gab loi, qoo and yihan, rubin and gf

Was talking about the match we had yest online... Seriously thought of the best soccer team that we can have... even though it is based more on contribution instead of the position that we play in, i believe a lot of us are versatile enough to play in different positions.

Anyway it goes sth like this...xucun as keeper, left back ber, right back zq, center def tze wee, right wing marc, left wing ming hee, center mid rayner qihui, hole vince me, striker ong bu

aiya shit lar....abit selfish leh...so many players, so little place...actually it all depends on form lar...then got eugene, fred oso...anytime can fit into the team oso...eugene shud be in lar...winger most probably left side, den ming hee can move in to either mine or qihui spot...sometimes qihui loses too much of the ball...i oso lar.....den sometime capt play like shit....but seriously it all depends on the form lar...then for keeper got jiatong and hongchuan oso...both equally as good as xucun...then the size of the field is oso one of the factors...it will all change again loh....cause fred can play big field, only attack lar...there is another combi oso...haha...everyone damn power leh....aiya actually all the subs get to play oso....our stamina not like those epl players wadz...xucun, ber, daren, tze, zq, ming hee, rayner, qihui, eugene, vince, marc...

or we can also have spider man, wolverine, capt america, the hulk, iron man, iori, ryu and ken, megaman, batman, kyo...subs got gambit, guile, cammy, k, cyclops, venom...blah

Take the Which Spider-Man Character Are You? quiz by ZyberGoat

ROFLOL~!! mary jane huh...

then today went for soccer training with the guys at about 3pm...was slping when vince called.....played with old cathigh guys...we practised abit passing b4 the match lar...so overall even though we lost...we played very well loh....everyone played well....perhaps only me i dint play that well lar...yea...gong jiao~!!

Many many things had happened this past 2 days. I am really surprised of my energy level, which i think came from the early sleeping of the whole week. Anyway, yest was flagday. Woke up at 6+ to reach newton at 7.30 to get the flags. We were all assigned to orchard...hahah~~ quite fun leh...anyway at 1st we were all damn slack, even went mac to have breakfast. Then after that adrianne, me and alex went walking ard asking pple for donations, then it's like obviously it's not working. So i went sell on my own, went to stand at the place where the escalator come up from the mrt, so in that case i will always have a continuous 'fresh' supply. In the end, i got the heaviest bag~!! haha~!! i rulez manz~!! Heard nic they all went to tanglin there then to botanical garden. Crazy manz...then alex and adrianned went to bishan...wah surely leh.

Anyway, after handing back the money and stuff, went back newton meet jas. Went town then meet fred. Walk around...hahha~~ some irony here loh...town again...surely leh...then we really walked loh....from about 2 to 5 plus. Really damn tired after that. But the day is not even half done yet. Went to find my clothes got them at a total of about 90, quite nice and i like them. Then really really really sad that fred cant find his shirt, if not he can go then....whew...one hell of an experience. Anyway, i got a white shirt and a dark blue pants...nice can.

After that went bishan alone to lily's house. Went there to camp for awhile and also to change into the stuff that i bought. June was there liao with elaine, well...and i was hungry, so got some instant noodles to eat. Then actually don't know who elaine was, then she was also eating noodles, so talked abit here and there. Anyway, after that vene and vann came...aAhhHH~!! HUMAN HAZARD~!!! You heard of triple H...now there is double H!! Hahah~!! then rose and sooch came...HELP~!! SOMEBODY HELP!!! i felt as if i am being converted to sisterhood. Well aiya they changed and be pretty pretty loh...make up and stuff...totally new experience for me manz...all guys should experience this. Just looking at how 7 girls picked over their clothes and makeup is really interesting. Then my eyelid got 'kiap' also. Hahah~~ anyway i looked like a gay with that ear ring, but it's nice lah...Then everyone was wearing so revealing~!!!! wah nose bleed liao lar...really manz...all freakingly hell low cut. We left for boat quay at about 8 plus. Went to raffles find leeroy and kennedy 1st, then went kream. Gawain and paul came as well. Next entry shall continue a rare experience i had yest...it is really amazing

Okok...it goes sth like that...and i shall type this in my lousy eng...okok...we arrived there then we were all acting damn guilty and scared loh...haha....den tat bouncer there is like so obviously he knew sth liao loh....wah lew nvm nvm....i dun haf an id then the thing is they are checking leh...den the other fews had ids, some their own, but mostly from fren...kennedy was using his frens poly pass...21 yr old leh...hahah...so anyway...there was lottas acting going on...haha...den vanessa i think they pity her lar...so let her go in despite the id pic totally not like her...she used june's one loh...den the photo is totally diff...well...anyway she got in...and the mood was damn tense cos we were all damn scared...den its like acting old oso...haha...after lily went him and came out wif the id tat kennedy was using...den i got it and i cant possibly go and show tat bouncer tat ken showed rite...so me and vanessa acted out as if i tot tat card cannot use...den i purposely went up to the other bouncer...kpkb tis and dat...den i was really damn scared can...heng can go in lar....den slowly everyone got in...dunno how leeroy got in...den simon helped as well...he looks a lot like koo...look at them play pool a bit....the place is nice lar....2 storeys...den got free flow so at 1st drank coke...=p den after tat got a mixed of vodka wif 7-up....after finished tat i got leeroy to get me sth...i blardee told him i wanted sth strong...but not tat strong...juz somewhere there...den he blardee hell brought back 2/3 a cup of pure vodka...finished that up soon....aiya...den at first nothing much one...den slowly slowly...well....head abit heavy lar...but my sense of judgement is definitely there...can think really sr8...its juz the movement only...got tis urge to slp lar...but after that started dancing...we started one loh...den pple start to join in....music was going on non stop and its deafening can...dance and drink abit...got really 'close' up...well u know...i mean its like when u dancein a grp, it will move to a guy and a gal...so its like u actually see them get closer and closer...haha..

den gawain got really drunk and he fell aslp for 1 hr...haha...damn funny loh...waste money go in slp...lol....well...paul soon came in....dunno how he got in oso...den dance a bit...but really until the end its not enuf~!! i want to dance more!~~!! anyway, think those gals were drinking alot oso...den when we were dancing, heard cops were here...den damn funny can....vanessa grabbed my hand and rushed out...den i faked i throwing up...haha...heng no one stopped us...rushed out, meet the others outside, den heard a few of them got questioned. After tat heard trina got asked for her ic num and she blabbered out 84 sth sth sth...den kennedy oso got pushed to the wall and questioned...he showed 'his' id and got let off..the others mostly zhao off...most of them wasted liao loh...june was practically drunk...den ven was like all over kennedy...after tat dunno why cry...aiya...heard is bcos she misses everyone...den freaking kennedy damn kio sai yest....he heng sia and the guys were mostly jealous...haha...but anyway the gals were like trying to pull her off him...but the thing is most of the gals wasted liao...anyway...after tat leeroy was being a real nice guy....bought drinks to help sober those wasted one...den i acted a bit drunk lar...well got a bit of shit one lar...but anyway i was okie lar...juz head a bit heavy...well...anyway realise elaine quite cute lor...b4 make up and after make up totally diff...den tis morn wake up saw her wif specs oso diff....last nite wif her hair and makeup, its really diff....well i think she thinks i am a bored guy...cos she is really wild loh...can really sense tat...

well after tat its really sth tat may nv happen to anyone in their life...i got body searched and questioned shit by plain clothes police...damn manz...its like a group of pple juz walked up...den mostly muds..den they asked my get down the ledge so i ignore them...den they suddenly surrounded me and freaking hell lar...ask me for ic and stuff...body search me....saw their warrant cards...anyway...its like they damn fierce wif me loh....cmon loh....i even told them i am a good guy can....den after tat juz warn me not to drink and go home study....damn crap can....surely leh...
den after that all of us juz left cos no mood go back in oso...no seats liao oso den lottas smoke...

went back lily's house to get my bag....about 3 then...ven lost her phone...think shud be dropped inside the cab....kennedy came to stay over...den i was too tired to go home...so slp there oso loh...ven went home soon.....june slp on the floor den lily and vanessa was toking outside...and i dunwan to juz go slp on the bed....really wadz...its all common sense...so i juz slp on the floor mattress oso lar....at 1st i THINK i haf a blanket oso...dunno why after tat dun haf....so it was damn cold lar...lao peh called me tis morn at 8 plus....okok i was going home liao lar...paiseh lar...

anyway....fred knows wad is the feeling like to miss sth like tis...haha...he damn qigek i think....haha....

blardee june got so many things cover her...i was freaking cold loh....only had one pillow....so i gotta share....think they were saying somethings...dunno wad oso...

den dunno wad game she playing....play wif my fingers...her hand was damn hot and mine was freaking cold~~ but paiseh lar....quite shocked to see our face abit close...but i was really feeling super cold....thanks for transmitting heat to me oso...

So many things happened...

and i am surprised of the energy i have...

it's really good to feel that i am doing sth in life...

I AM HAVING MY 1ST FLAGDAY TMR~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She catches the attention of me again, yet this time i didn't look. I didn't dare to anyway, only hoping that the moment will pass by quickly. Though there she is standing, as clear as anything ever so clear, i see through everything, the only image appearing, yet so mudune, so much serenity, plentiful of sunlight and ray, though not that perfect as i hope for, i can see her so clearly again.

Even the thought comes out so bright and clear, not withstanding any obstacle in the way, almost like a champion in a steeplechase, the only difference is that the medal you get is the fear you will conquer. I dare to dream, yet the fear still linger deep down inside, for i am human. I can only keep the fear down there, where the bottom-less pit is at. I see nothing down there, only fear and darkness, yet i can sense something burning, the flame, the passion to carry on, to fight for the things i want. Not only that, i manage to conquer everything around me.

Those around me stood silently, witnessing the apocalypse of the thoughts that have evolved sometime ago, i never ever did dare, or rather never think of such aims and dream. But heck! I know i can do it now, and i am confident of myself. There is nothing more to fear and i can safely go on to do other stuff, dilemias that need to be solve. I think i rule. =) sayyyy my nameeeeeee~~~ cmonnnn everyoneeeeee sayyyyy myyyy nameeeeeeeeeeeee~~~~~~~~~

heez~~ chi CT over...

and i am happy with my zhuo wen and my paper 2...

only the listening sugs...

anyway everyone said it sugs...

whoa~!! what is that thing down there!?? what am i doing so high up here?? did a bird just flew past me?? hmm...i thought it was laksa...no?? how come?

I am a senile kid. Getting real higgggggggghhhhhhhhh here.

shit...got lit essay to write...

We lost today's match to those zhonghua kids...lac lar pple...just a game need to kpkb so much here and there meh.

It goes like that... The 1st swimmer, choon went down with an enormous splash, he surfaced 1st and was head to head with 3 other swimmers. They were all leading the way when towards the end, choon pulled away and in goes our 2nd swimmer, Khid~!! Khid, having not feeling well, led the way at 1st, but slowed down towards the 3/4 way. Lane 5 caught up i think and when Khid reached the wall, in goes our 3rd swimmer Rubin, at exactly the same time as lane 5~!! There were both somewhat the same until the end when Rubin pia towards the wall, giving me the slightest of advantages. In goes me~!! SPLASHHH~!!! KAABOOMMM~!!! (whoops paiseh lar...me make lottas sound i know) I was so scared you know, because i was soooooooo scared that someone will chase up with me. I am not exactly the fastest last swimmer in the race and anyway, swim like mad loh...goggles came out and i swam blinded, only realising i swimming sengek when i open my eyes. Haha~! Anyway, when i was reaching, i looked to my right and couldn't see anyone. Then when i touched the wall, i swept my eyes across the wall and see no one. Heard the commentator said "and the winner is t02~!" Whew...what a race. :DDDDDDDDD POWWWWWWEEERRRRRRR~!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yar, also decided to spray my hair silver again. Hah! still got some left mah...from yest sports day. Hope will have enough for sun's match as well.

hehez...later going to be fun i hope...haven't gone out play pool with them for quite a while. But damn lah...got to go for organ 1st, but nvm lar...later buying cake for fred's face. =p

Happy Bday to Freddie today~!!! Happy Bday to Freddie today~!!! Happy Bday to Freddie today~!!! Happy Bday to Freddie today~!!!

Happy Bday to Rubin yest~!!! Happy Bday to Rubin yest~!!! Happy Bday to Rubin yest~!!! Happy Bday to Rubin yest~!!!

damn freaking hell tired......

yay~!!! we won 1st in breaststoke 50m~!!!

experiencing twin power leh...haha...nothing much also...as far as i know it's all the old stuff...once bitten twice shy...

Called lottas pple just now about the chalet thingie. Hope everyone can go.

Going to slp early today cos tmr got sports day.

A bundle of events coming up, after that perhaps lunch with classmates. Then don't know whether rubin got to book the tix for starwars. Then don't know what about jas as well. Well...tmr then say lah. I have suffered enough mental drain today. Turning senile liao i guess.

You may think i am naive and dumb and a know-nothing-guy, well...perhaps so. I have got nothing to say.

Hahahahahah!!! Lies and lies and lies...one after another. I have grow through experience, by learning through the hard way, if you are feeling negative, that is when you are learning stuff.

All BULL SHIT~!! Nothing but shit. Things that i have confirmed my deepest doubts. I am not surprise, neither am i shocked. I am just angry.

Jiu Shi Kai Bu Liao Kou Rang Ta Zhi Dao...

Everyone is going for the drama thing on Sat...haiz...and i can't go. Told them i had a date with my bf. Heez...anyway they all think i am gay i supposed. Fred ought to be happy i am going to celebrate his bday with him manz. Haha~~ anyway it's Rubin's bday on fri. Bday bash coming up...18 times for him.

Thinking of it, the back row contains 5 councillors sitting side by side. Quit a funny manz...me, kenneth, alexius, qorrine, nicole. Really need to maintain a sense of discipline in the back row liao. (and not throw anymore erasers) Wasn't me wadz...aiya actually it was really really very funny to see such a huge piece of eraser bounce of vanessa's head. Then today my pencil flew off, as in really flew right to the front during Mr. Phay lesson. Accident lah...because i wasn't holding it properly. Yeaa riteee.

We are going to clock 80 hrs of CIP this year, and at the rate we are going, i don't think we can do it. Darren was aiming for 60 hrs, which i think it's quite hard also looking at the schedule. Cmon pple...you got to put in more effort and do much more. As long as you manage your time properly, who say there isn't time. It's just that Darren who is too busy. Haiz...he and his projects. On government service mah...anyway, as he say, we won't be enjoying our visits to St Joseph Home more than today's trip. So i guess if we can, we must try to make as many appointments with the school we went to today.

i still can't get over the fact that i don't have to sit for the chi retest manz~!!! Hahaha i rulez~!!! First time sia....ego booster definitely. Thanks to sing gee i guess...and of course xuzoooooo~~

Wen Ai asked me funny ques today...i think it goes sth like this, "so...how is your gf?"

My reply: Well...she is fine...(i supposed she is really fine.)

i spent sth like 5 mins and only on my 59th attempt then did i manage to connect to irc. I only took 1 sec to quit. What does that say about life?

MALABA~!!!!

Definition: You will definitely not want to know. Okok a clue for you...think of horses.

Today experienced nathan sexual edge, but alex said it was nothing at all. I guess so esp after he had spent the 1st 3 months with her, so he ought to know better. But today was quite extreme liao...she mentioned 3 things that are linked to sex in less than 10 mins. 1st it's the balls...she was saying about balls and then she accidentally said wrongly about "her" balls. 2ndly it was about jap girls...well...she is sure trying hard at imitating japs huh...ms nathan...cute voice you got there...3rdly it was about the nipples thingie...kaoz...of all things to say got to say about the teachers in cjc clothing being too skimpy until can see the beepz. Well........no comments. US educated huh?

Was browsing through some guy's blog. One hell of a porn freak.

I think i am having this pattern of not having enough sleep esp at this period of time. Mon will be bad, okie lah but still bad because of waking up at the weekend. Then for tues it will be slightly better, then wed will be okie, but starting to get tired again in class because of waking up early in the morn. Let's just say i am not used to it lar. Thurs will be hell for me manz...really can't wait for thurs to pass by. Can't wait for fri to come each time. Anyway, this fri will be cj's sports day. Going to be fun. =)

Went to play with kids today. Totally a very very good experience which i think everyone should have. I joined the group which took charge of the Pri.1 - 3 children. Helped them study a bit and marked their work. Know a few of them as well, like Justin, Jordan, Bryan, Christina... and oh yar...there are 2 potential CBs. =p After that played games, dog and bone and the hankie game. 2 kids cried. How old liao...still cry... it's just a game afterall.

Today's Lit test was okie. I am an ultimate crapper that's all i can say. Wrote all the shit i can think of. Or perhaps i am just good at analysing. I think it should be that i can crap.

Econs MCQ test tmr. Studying demand and supply and production now. Don't know what the last one is. Heck lar.

Gotten the SC contact list today, mistakes in it. Yihan's and Isaring's num same same. Khairi making another one for everyone tmr.

I felt as though others have this feeling that i betrayed their feelings for the votes, but seriously i think it's because now i am much more relaxed and thus more wild and "indisciplined". Sorry guys for any mischief or any 'shocking' events that had happened. It's just the laughter afterall. I am happy lah...=)

Really experience muscle burn manz. It's when i can actually feel my whole body burn throughout as though i have just ran 2.4. But the thing is just different with me being in the water and not able to feel the sweat coming out. Heng i came back and got a hot bath... if not i will feel totally mummified i supposed. However it seems that i sort of lag, as i only feel the aching today. Esp the groin part. Now i finally understand how ber felt when he had training.

WahHhHh~~~ Groin strainnnnn~~~~ pain leh...

Today went sch and found out who didnt got in...pong po didnt and so did angele, heard she was pretty sad...cmon loh...she is like so much capable than jacquelin and so much nicer than sean...sean can go eat shit lah....of everyone he has to get in....good lar...somemore today's meeting talk so much cock...only 1st meeting only...even ariel and khairi both diam diam....he so good den go be president loh...haha...stanley was like saying even if we left only 5 councillors, sc will go on...true lar....but i guess most of us definitely don't want to work under someone like sean. Decide on sth liao then onz liao lah...argue so much for what...onz den set then settle liao right....efficient mah...then still got so many views and stuff for what....go home slp lar....anyway, got a bit of reprimanding by stanley today, mainly about not working in unity(again)...its about the speeches sheet and about some of us coming late today...cmon loh...its quite hard to inform everyone when we don't even know who is in and who isnt and the whole sch is so big, there are 30 plus of us and we cant possibly find out who don't know what and who knows what...but anyway we had worked out a buddy system liao...so its kinda solved also...

okie...today basically they introduce the elects of the 28th SC...walked up with the rest...the feeling is sure nice lah....but damn pressurizing leh....go canteen or do anything...can actually feel as if all eyes are on me on my every movement...and its like they are going to point out whatever faults i have commit...stressful sia....

and the names are also very beepz...from students-->nominees-->candidates-->elects(don't know what is this for)-->(not yet a)councillor

tmr will be having my 1st ever lit test in like 2 plus yrs...heez...going to be real fun~`

whoa so cool...tmr going to play with kids for 1 hr....song boh....they sure have good ideas for CIP huh...

hehez...tmr will be a nice day....announcement and everything....whew~~~ things will be so fun from now on....LTC during june....really fulfilling my JC life manz...

Today damn funny, Mr Tham leaked out some news of the elections...hahah~~ then it's like i thought darren was joking....but anyway he isn't, then too bad nic went home early today, if not the whole class happy liao. 3 SCs and 2 CACs...WHOA~! Then it's like news was spreading among the candidates, khairi got in as well...minsi also...then cheryl also...kenneth, me and nic all got in...then vince's class all 4 got in....DAMN MANZ....sean leh....that beep beep also can...heard they are writing in a petition to kick him out...hope he gets out manz...irritating piece of beep.

YIPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~~~~~~~~~~

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

I.G.O.T. I.N.T.O.S.T.U.D.E.N.T.C.O.U.N.C.I.L

Today is a wonderful day. Really manz. Except only for the scolding by mrs tan. I did run okie. The sweat is not there for nothing. But NVM... cos i ammm soooooooooooooooooo happpppyyyyy~!!

today went play billard with daniel and xiao jiu...dint know my billard not bad leh...must be playing too much pool liao....too bad they wasnt pool there...if not can play liao...but still lost to them in billard lah...but cmon loh...i pot some balls hor...and there were some chio shots as well...come pple....anyone game for billard??

going to slp liao....shud be going training with rubin tmr...competition is on fri...can only hope for the best...i suppose i am the slowest one in the team...can get prize i happy liao...

Lao bu was asking me about the num of pple going for the thing...told her bout 30 ought...shud be about that...cos in the end confirm got some pple cant make it and stuff...
made the list out juz now and about 45 pple...cool boh...think about 20 ought are confirmed...the others must ask when sch starts tmr...
dint know my cousins and aunties and uncles all going...actually not for my bday lar...just that they all going there for a holiday also...2 of the families got booked room for their own as well...so i guess i will be a crowd...but it quite good lah...sorta a gathering or sth...everyone needs some time to catch up on stuff mah...

oh yar...the bill thingie still in a mess...the dint gif me my free 100 sms, which is 5 bucks...they gave me only 0.28 cents...cool rite...asked my laopeh go find out liao....but hahah~~~ one of my all time low...the bill right now is 40 ought...if there is a mistake...shud be bout 36 bucks...

Happy Mothers' Day to all

Bought David Waugh and the Econs TYS liao...

pnbtrjlly> where is the male G-spot?

K[e]iTh-> is there such a thing?

pnbtrjlly> got

pnbtrjlly> but i'm not sure where

K[e]iTh-> lol

K[e]iTh-> go test it out

K[e]iTh-> go search for it

aNhOnGgGg> ..

pnbtrjlly> anhong you can be my test subject?

K[e]iTh-> lol

pnbtrjlly> if i can find it,i can turn gay!

aNhOnGgGg> fuck lar

pnbtrjlly> for 1 and a half year

aNhOnGgGg> u go rub urself everywhere loh

aNhOnGgGg> mebbe can find it

pnbtrjlly> haha

pnbtrjlly> anyhow rub

pnbtrjlly> then suddenly orgasm

K[e]iTh-> lol

pnbtrjlly> hahaa

aNhOnGgGg> lol

K[e]iTh-> got such a thing meh

K[e]iTh-> anyhow rub

aNhOnGgGg> shit sia

K[e]iTh-> then suddenly orgasm

aNhOnGgGg> LOL

pnbtrjlly> then in lecture hall i go and rub my friend's G-spot

aNhOnGgGg> damn funny leh

aNhOnGgGg> imagine tat

pnbtrjlly> then he orgasm

K[e]iTh-> hahaha

K[e]iTh-> yah lor

aNhOnGgGg> LOL

ARGH~!!! This is stressing me out...lester low today said: "Anhong, the councillor" i am like wtf...then pokz asking me when the results are going to come out when i have repeatedly said and said so many times.

The usual insatiable thirst for food has gone, as i have realised just now when i went for mother's day dinner. I will on many previous occasions savour the tastes of the food before me...but today, i just ate as if luxury food meant nothing anymore.

no no no...no way manz...cannot ever harbour the thought of that...which will so deeply hurt him...

and i promise...which i am very very scare that i cant fulfil that bcos it has happened that i never quite done to what i shud achieve...that i am going to study really really hard....really manz...after sch...either home or library...try me.

okok...SC made me worry for nothing today...and i was so scared and tensed up about the elections...and there they come telling us that the results will only be out on next tues morn. Damn...make me so kancheong.

Take the Desert Creatures Test!

Which "Natural Wonder" are you?



forest huh?? i tot shud be the fields when i shud be horsing ard...

kk....learn that expert shud just stand one side like 'ge an guan huo' like that and let others do the talking

paranoid asses all over the place...

don't plot anything lah...nothing ever works...

i got spider sense leh...can ting ting ting...then can know sth going to happen one leh...power right~!??

=) i am a happy boy...and i shudnt care what is going to be done...

hmmz...maybe i shall be petty for once and regard those that have done me harm as enemies and never ever forgive them again...hmm...i just don't have a sense of humour and i can't take jokes.

wah kaoz...going out on sat and sun...jia ren you yue...i hope i got the mood manz...surely leh.

My sister is planning to go on a China trip with the school, whoa manz...and she is sec 1. I don't remember doing anything in sec 1 leh. Surely leh.

Nic was saying that there was actually someone/some people that got ZERO votes. Can you dig it??!! Sucka~!!!

I can't loh...i mean it is like totally absurd to think of someone gettin zero votes. HELLO~!! It's like you can vote for yourself leh...and what is his/her classmates doing?

The words said by Minsi was repeating and repeating itself thruout my mind this few couple of hours, that in the end, we will end up treating each other to a meal. I really hope that right now i am having that meal with her loh...really really wishing. I got no confidence for tmr. Seriously no confidence. Surely leh.

Ms Nathan actually praise our group for the Project Work. I even saw her writing a "Good" on her analysing sheet. =)

I can't believe it manz...

And Min mei had to leave us for poly, and now my group only got 4 people, and if vivien leaves too...whooaaahoooo~~~

One hell of a project.

Darren was crazy today. He was LAUGHING AND LAUGHING as though a sexual panda just rolled down the freaking hell of a hill. AND HE WAS SAYING "IT'S DAMN FUNNY YOU KNOW" again and again and again. And the thing is i am sitting next to him.

Now just think lah...if someone sits next to you and laughs none stop and keep on saying it's damn funny, you will be wondering what is so funny right? But the freaking hell problem is that he don't want to say anything, which is quite shit. So i am like...WTH.

Equally stressed people around me.

shit...tmr got phy geog test...then fri have chi test...better go study now...

Well...i was pussying around just now. Hahahah~~~ Victims: Yifai, Yihhuat, Boon hua, Manfred, Timothy(ACS)

Prank: telling them about free sex~!! haha~!! sth like that lah...

Results:
Yifai: It's either he is real dumb or he is just playing along, but his last sms made it shows that he is dumb. Hahah~~ fall for the trick totally....hmmz....froggy, elephantny and dinony style?? LOL
YihHuat: HE DIDNT REPLY~!!! BLARDEE HELL~!!!
Boon Hua: HE CALLED ME~!! blardee hell also...damn so i pick up phone...act voice...then he blurted out my name...i fake fake lar....but can guess he sorta know is me liao...damn manz...my voice faking damn fake....after that sms then i gave myself up...haha...
Manfred: DAMN~!! he got my num cos his one is about the same as mine...
Timothy: didnt reply liao...he was asking " who is this....who is this....who is this" b4 that....quite corny also...

to the pple above, i sincerly apologise for any pekcek-ness i have caused, it is all for the fun and laughter, cmon manz...everyone needs to relax...and forgive me pls...i am sick today lar...=p

didn't go sch today...sick

oh yar....today's voting...well...everyone had 10 votes...so everyone was happy....

haiz...i feel damn guilty loh....bcos zijie and yihan voted for me and i didnt vote for them...damn manz...

voted for khairi, ariel, chun, minsi and shiying as well as my whole grp...

well...we were discussing about the who will be getting the top votes...and we came down to a conclusion that it will be a close fight between khairi, ariel and felicia.

Feeling a tinge of soreness in my throat already, perhaps it's from the titbits i ate yest, and the spicy instant noodles and also the protein drink which is heaty.

Jialat manz...going to drink gallons of water liao...

I have been hearing a lot about this 2 phrases--"i promise i will try my best to tuck in my shirt" and "Study hard"

haha...i guess this 2 phrases which actually meant nothing and i wasn't intending to say them until the last moment will remain in the mind of the J1s and J2s for quite some time.

Everywhere i go, J1s who saw me will say sth about tucking in my shirt, and it is like during pe, when no one ever does tuck in shirt, so i am like shit shit shit...actually what i meant about the shirt is the sch uni lar....then heard those J2s were saying that there was some guy who say study hard...hahah~~ well well....-shrugs-

Written by Joanne

seems faded/ but somehow it triggered
a sudden flashback i see
a flashback before me
so far away/ so long ago
but somehow it stays/ it doesn't go away

a picture of my memories
it is tattered
it is torn
it is yellowed wif age
a picture of my memories
dog-earred, crumpled n perhaps crushed

the creases/ somehow it was folded
folded to be haidden away
hidden along the way
so long ago/ so far away
but somehow it stays/ it doesn't go away

a picture, its just a picture
what does it really show?
is it just a facade?
a memory, a memory
i need to forget but refuse to

a picture of my memories
it is tattered
it is torn
it is yellowed wif age
a picture of my memories
dog-earred, crumpled n perhaps crushed

its haunting, its haunting mi
so distant yet just behind mi (X3)

okok...decided to gif khairi my vote tmr cos it's his bday....i dun want to vote for myself oso...okokokok....I AM DUMB.

ARGHHHHHH~!!!!! everyone saying i can make it....make wad it??!! wad the shit lar....scardededededed sia u know anotz....later everything go to nought den i winner liao...

i think i am going to get addicted on protein powder...

fri got chinese test......finally manz....my 1st test tis term....muz study hard for it....cos xucun no time to study....so i guess after tat oso cannot rely on him.....going to do my econs tut liao....den muz oso remember to bring my baby photo to sch tmr....received my library card liao....yay~!!!

going to vote for the 5 members in my grp tmr....including me lar....which dumbass is dumb enuf not to vote for himself

and oh yar...realise sth....tat i haf been taking lottas free rides lately.....ever since i come into cj....there has been lottas lifts here and there....

wait arh...lemme think....oh yar...i will require lottas luck tmr for the voting.....cos it is really really sth like a test....all of u think lar...there are times when u know u will do well and yet when the paper comes back, u failed....and there are times when u know u will fail for sure but when the paper comes back, u did very well.....so its like basically i am aiming for the 4th to the 20th position for the num of votes....i DUNWAN TO get the top vote definitely, which i dun think i will....2nd and 3rd oso damn pressurising....so 4th is good....but arghhhhhhhhhhh......problematic leh....

got sth to say again...haahahah~~~ tat the world is so nice....the sky is so blue and the grass is so green and tmr is voting day~!!!!

okie....now i got it....its the internet....it is one hell of a...ermz.....thing?? yar...cos i dunno wad the internet is....it has everything manz....everything tat propels my imagination to the wildest end...tat i cannot explain....internet truly has made a huge and totally fuckified impact in human's life manz....juz go surf the net...and see wad other pple are using it for.....

OKOKOKOKOK~!!! i really need to calm down....been browsing thru a lot alot alot of pple's site...their own webbies and stuff....and right now...they make me feel like i am shit...cos i dunno anything for nutz...and they can do webbies like tat....they totally amazes the hell out of me....and there is this gal....16 yrs old....her webbie...wait till u see it manz....juz wait till u see it....i got nothing..NOTHING to say....its so damn good.....everything is there....poems....writings....blogging....even webcam...

and there are dozens of other online blogs/journals/personal sites.....TONNES....MILLIONS manz.....i am really speechless......u can see me shaking me head now......manz.....i juz dunno how these pple get their time from....but found out sth....most of those females tat are doing these are a bit beepz....in terms of looks....haha...jk

The following 2 pieces of letter are from someone, one is fictional and the other is non-fictional. I am sorry if it is a breach of copywrite but i want to show pple how different things can be. As usual, there are more moments of anguish, sadness and abhorrence than happiness, joy and true love. So you pple can go figure out which is real and which is not.

UNREMEMBERED

K. Y.,

It’s been more than half a year since I even uttered a word to you, isn’t it? Don’t fret. I have no undisclosed incentives and am probably as overwrought as you are. You haven’t been in my mind much all these months. And I certainly have no devotedly attached memories of you.

You were the first person to ever cause me a heartache. You lied to me. You hid yourself under a facade. You wasted seven months of my existence. Seven months of falsehood. All that I saw in you was a lie. Our relationship was a twisted web of deceit.

This letter is a divulgence of my inmost feelings, K.Y. They were bottled up for too long. Now they’re twisting and burning inside me. I can’t deny it any further. Confession is my only way out.

I never loved you.

They thought you were my first love. They thought sweet reminiscence should be the remains of this ended relationship. They thought it didn’t work out because we were too immature to handle it.

They were misled. So were you.

We were living a lie. It was all untruth. You gave me nothing dear to remember of. Your possessiveness was my bane. It stretched on. It was sheer torture.

But I held on.

I thought I loved you. But I didn’t. Reality came crashing down after you returned from your trip. I was in love with an illusion which died on the plane. You finally showed your true colours. For months after the breakup, it was intense abhorrence of you. I despised you so much, you could rot in hell and I would be overjoyed.

You burnt me. Did you indeed expect me to cling on? Did you expect me to throw myself at your feet and plead for you to return to me? Did you think I will break down and die without you?

By now, you should know that you were mistaken.

I cried. It seemed like forever. I wept silently beneath my spirited front. I cried because you deceived me. I cried for the asshole you are. I cried out of self-pity and pity for you.

My being was something you could flaunt, because you never had anything else to boast about. My love was like pearls on a string you thought you possessed. I felt so sorry for you.

You were the little boy who thought you were all man. The little boy who used “if you love me, you will do it” to threaten. The vulnerable little boy who sought constant attention and declarations of commitment. And I, I was the artless girl who had fairy castles in the air.

It matters not. Not anymore.

My loathing for you is gone with the wind. You are freed from blame now. You aren’t worth anything to my mind. My self-pity didn’t last longer than my “love” for you.

Like a stranger on the streets, I don’t understand you anymore than I did before I knew of you. Ever thought of entering Star Search? You were so dexterous, I couldn’t tell the truth from the lies in you. I don’t even want to try.

All I’m asking of you now is not to remember me, K.Y. Forget I ever existed. Don’t waltz back into my life and play a role there. Don’t be part of the cast of characters in my memoirs. Not as a friend, not as a lover, not even as my enemy. Just remain the way you are - just another a hazy character in a page of my history. Someone who used to be.

Don’t keep this letter. Bind it with your recollections of me. Crumple them. Crush them. Rip them asunder. Turn them into pulp. Set them afire. Or simply hurl them into the bin.

Whatever you do, don’t remember me.

Goodbye. Forever.

********


and how things can be like differently...

FORGIVEN

Dear Chris,

This letter will never been sent. But I hope you will receive this in your heart. I hope you see me from where you are. I don’t want to be the sobbing figure whose eyes are pregnant with grief anymore, Chris. No more.

It’s been so long, so long. Three whole years of sorrow and weeping. Three whole years of denial. Three heart-wrenching years of feeling broken.

I felt like you’ve betrayed me.

Everytime you appeared in my thoughts, I felt my heart break more. I never thought it was possible when you departed and shattered my heart into a million pieces, letting the debris fall into the pit of my stomach. But whenever I think of you, anguish sears through me like a thousand daggers stabbing unflinchingly at the very core of my being.

I couldn’t forgive you for the longest time. I couldn’t accept the fact that you just left like that. All you left me was a message that shattered my every dream.

I know life had been hard on you. But was ending your life your only release? Why did you do that to yourself? Why to me?

I finally stopped asking those questions every night I lay myself down to sleep. Those tears upon my pillow will always remain. Those answers I yearned to know so much doesn’t matter now. Not anymore.

I want to imagine that you are happier than you’ve been in your entire life. Please be. Please let me be the only one suffering. Please let me be the only one hurting so bad.

I felt my soul being buried with you six feet under, shut off from me the very moment they sealed the coffin. You looked the same, yet so different. So lifeless and cold. Those arms that once embraced me now hung limp at your sides.

Please don’t feel miserable for me. That is the last thing I need. Just do one thing for old times' sake: remember.

Remember those times we shared. Remember me.

Remember those times we strolled along the beach in the drizzle, our hands clasped together, holding like we never want to let go. Remember the sand castles we built that reminded us of our childhood fantasies. Remember the gentle whisper of the waves.

Remember those times we joked and laughed with the television on, emitting an alien luminescence in the dimness as we cuddled during our wacky sleepovers.

Remember that I was once your trusted intimate, your cohort in mischief, your best friend.

I remember.

I remember that I once desired to hold you in my arms to heal those wounds in your heart. I still do. I still yearn to wipe away the tears inside of you, for you wept silently beneath the strong exterior. I long to make you trust love again, to believe that I will never hurt you.

It’s too late. You didn’t wait.

I questioned myself endlessly, repeatedly but I never found out what I was attracted to. There was this strong magnetic bond that drew me to you. This saline, empty pit in my centre of emotion will never be filled again.

I still can’t forget.

I can’t forget the first time we met at the beach. Those waves always seemed angry to me. Angry at the world, angry at the shore. They always seemed to be crashing against the shore, lashing at the sand, eroding it bit by bit. But on that day, they were breaking against the fine sand, washing away memories of heartbreak, telling me everything is okay. You made my wounds heal.

I can’t forget the times you came up with crazy ideas to jog for miles and miles. When I practically collapsed at your feet, you took my hand and urged me on. I found myself running with renewed energy surging through me, feeling free from the viciousness of this world.

But I will no longer have that kind of solace anymore.

I love you. I always have and always will. There is no reason. I tried to convince myself I didn't love you. Nothing worked. My heart has made the choice. I let my heart rule too much. It is no longer in my hands.

My heart is with you, every second of everyday. Promise me you will appear in my dreams tonight, Chris. I need you.

I’ve finally forgiven you.

********

oh yar....realise my cs sugs now...yest was playing version 1.0 and i sugs...cant shoot for nutz...well....haven't actually played for quite some time.

Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.


You are the epitomy of what every man should be. What sets you apart from the other men of rank and nobility is you combine every best quality they possess into one. You are skilled, motivated, ambitious, filled with a sense of purpose and morality. You know when to relax and have fun and when to be serious and courageous. You seek peace, prosperity and love in your life, and as a ruler, you seek it for your kingdom. Others follow you because of your ability to move them, and because you earned their respect. You are admired, even envied, but above all else, greatly loved.

whoooooaaaaaaaa....POWER SIAAAAAA~!!!!!! =p

Feeling guilty = not replying = game over

okok....tis is the 1st time i have said this thing....LIFE SUGS~!!!

haiz...the trouble of getting adapted to to being in a mixed school still haunts me...not the feeling of being me...but to those pple ard me who has changed due to being in a school with opposite sex running about...scareded to see pple change and going crazy over others....i have changed too...but i don't care so much about myself lar...bleahz

i learn another new thing today... that if that something is not meant for you, it will never be meant for you. It is really true and i believe many of you have heard of that before. Basically, it means that no matter how hard you try to achieve or to get hold of something, you may not get it whereas sometimes, even without trying, it is there for you to take.

I guess it all comes down to luck.

Lady luck hasn't been around me for quite some time.

I learn that today too that it is unnecessary to force sth out of nothing. Cos' nothing will ever come out.

i cant believe that darren is actually that enlightened and he truly amazes me to a great extend on the things he is actually doing, not only with school but even with the singapore government...and the way he knows about things are truly remarkable...esp the way he advises pple. I really admire him.

talking to so many pple about my problems...
yet making it seems so fake...
as in as if they are non-existent...
i really want to get them solve...
but in reality it's never that simple

let me check the time cos its kinda screwed....the prev entry is done at 1.11am on sunday, 5/5/2002

fong ge ge is gone long long time ago from the BC....has always been MIA in the BC....so it's quite normal for all of us...except just that nowdays he hasn't been ard with us for quite some time...i guess we just miss him...

freddie might be leaving soon as well....things are progressing well for him....i wish him good luck...

now i have reach another stage...

a new one that is totally different from the stagnant one i had a few weeks ago...

juz came home...
realise sth...
really realise sth...
which in hugely affecting my life...
i am quite at an end about it...
meaning i haven't quite got the solution to solve it...
this seldom happens...
sth is definitely missing.

blah...
i need someone ard for the time being...
but that will be selfish...

why the hell did i just tell a girl to go for another guy when i jolly well know i like her?
i think i am turning gay.
been missing freddy a lot lately.
been feeling a lot lonely.

i've got too many problems to solve...
and i don't intend to solve any of those...
bcos i know even if i solve them...
i won't be happy...